I've only ever heard this one, and I've been searching for it forever and a week. I thought you all might be able to help me out.
This is all I can remember of it.
Please forgive any misspellings.
"A knight there was who rode one night
He rowed one night upon the lake
He rowed because his horse was hoarse
And so his horse he could not take"
I know there's more of it, with lots of excuses to use words with the same sound but different spellings [there, their and they're... fare and fair... pare and pair, etc]
I'd love to have the entire thing, but the life of me, I can't find it anywhere. Help?
Thanks in advance ^_^
I collect things like that, but haven't met that one. If you find it elsewhere, please post it in full. You might like this one, to be going on with - try reading it aloud, it's a real challenge:
CORK AND WORK AND CARD AND WARD Anon c1900
I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through?
I write in case you wish perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps:
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead;
For goodness' sake, don't call it 'deed'!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear for bear, or fear for pear.
There's dose and rose, there's also lose
(Just look them up), and goose and choose,
And cork, and work, and card and ward,
And font and front, and word and sword,
And do and go and thwart and cart –
Come, come, I've barely made a start!
A dreadful language? Man alive,
I'd mastered it when I was five!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/07/2008 07:04AM by marian222.
A Shetland Pony walked into a McDonalds and waited in line to place his order. When his turn finally came, he said (in a soft, raspy voice), "I'll have a Hamburger Happy Meal with a Coke, please." The woman behind the counter frowned and replied, "Sir, you'll have to speak up. I can't hear you." The pony looked at her and repeated (in the same soft, raspy voice), "I'll have a Hamburger Happy Meal with a Coke, please." The woman frowned again and looked rather aggravated. She said sharply, "Sir, I still can't hear you. There are lots of people waiting in line. You'll have to speak up or leave the restaurant." The pony smiled understandingly and replied (in the same soft, raspy voice), "I'm sorry. You've got to excuse me. I'm just a little hoarse."
Thanks for that, great fun.
I am learning Turkish, a completely phonetic language with regular logical grammar rules which absolutely bewilder most of we English speakers. I will post this the next time someone grumbles about how incomprehensible Turkish is!