Lost Poetry Quotations
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poem by a.p. herbert: "I've got to be funny"
Posted by: herbertfan (192.168.128.---)
Date: October 25, 2006 09:56PM

Can anyone please help me locate this poem? It's by British humorist, A.P. Herbert, and is entitled "I've got to be funny." My parents had it in a circa 1950s collection of poetry and I love it!

Please contact me if you have any questions or leads as to how I can find the entire poem. With much thanks!

Re: poem by a.p. herbert: "I've got to be funny"
Posted by: Hugh Clary (192.168.128.---)
Date: October 30, 2006 05:58PM

I looked thru all my stuff, but no luck, sorry.

Re: poem by a.p. herbert: "I've got to be funny"
Posted by: JohnnySansCulo (192.168.128.---)
Date: October 30, 2006 08:49PM

There was a website which appeared to have, like, EVERYTHING by AP Herbert, and it wasn't there

Re: poem by a.p. herbert: "I've got to be funny"
Posted by: StephenFryer (Moderator)
Date: December 12, 2006 12:09PM

I know this isn't it, but I like it a lot so there ...
At the Theatre: To the Lady Behind Me

Dear Madam, you have seen this play;
I never saw it till today.
You know the details of the plot,
But, let me tell you, I do not.
The author seeks to keep from me
The murderer's identity,
And you are not a friend of his
If you keep shouting who it is.
The actors in their funny way
Have several funny things to say,
But they do not amuse me more
If you have said them just before;
The merit of the drama lies,
I understand, in some surprise;
But the surprise must now be small
Since you have just foretold it all.
The lady you have brought with you
Is, I infer, a half-wit too,
But I can understand the piece
Without assistance from your niece.
In short, foul woman, it would suit
Me just as well if you were mute;
In fact, to make my meaning plain,
I trust you will not speak again.
And---may I add one human touch?---
Don't breathe upon my neck so much.

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