This poem or maybe it's a limerick dates back to the early 1960's. It begins, "I come before you to stand beside you to tell you something I know nothing about......" Later on it says, "It makes no difference where you sit, the men in the gallery are sure to spit." ... and there's more.
I want to quote the entire piece in a presentation I have to give.
Sharon, did you ever find this piece?
I remember the beginning "I come before you to stand beside you," but I don't recall it being a poem at all. I thought it was just a silly ... I don't know, comedy piece of some kind, full of contradictions (like "One bright day in the middle of the night..." but without rhymes).
So I'm curious if anyone ever recognized it and told you the rest of it.
I remember some of this from a few years back......
"Dear Ladies and Jellyspoons,
I come before you, to stand behind you, to tell you something I know nothing about. Next Thursday, which is Good Friday, there will be a ladies' meeting, for men only."
Sorry....that's about all I can remember----it WAS in the 60's when I heard it, too.
I also remember part of this poem, and i was wondering if you ever found the rest, because i would be interrested to know how it ended. I resited it for an audition at primary school and i remember:
"Ladies and Jellyspoons, i come before you to stand behind you to tell you something i know nothing about, next thursday, which is good friday, there will be a mother's meeting for fathers only. admission is free, pay at the door, all ring chairs we'll sit on the floor!" If you did find the rest i dont supose you could send it to me please, i would e most grateful!
Sharon, this has been discussed here before, there are many versions of the verse you seek:
Post Edited (08-11-04 13:59)
Post Edited (09-07-04 12:32)
It sounds like something the Firesign Theatre would do.
It's on Sue's 'One Bright Day in the Middle of the Night' thread in the topic list just now!
This poem which you all are puzzling about goes
I come before you, to stand behind you,
To tell you something, I know nothing about,
This thursday, is good friday,
There will be a mothers day banquet, for fathers only,
Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Pull up a chair, and sit on the floor
I'll now tell you a story, I've never been told before,
One bright day in the middle of night two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot eachother,
A deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys, If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too,
Thecrazyproffesor, nobody's puzzling click on "flat view" below your post and then click the hyperlink in my post above, this poem has been discussed several times here on e-mule.
My grandad always told me this version when I was a kid...
"I come before you, to stand behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Sunday, being Good Friday,
There will be a mother's meeting for fathers,
To decide what colour the church will be white-washed.
Free admission, pay at the door,
Seats inside, sit on the floor.
And the next song will be a dance
Sung by three female gentlemen,
Sitting at the corners of a round table,
Eating plain cakes with currants in."