Could you post the poems?
Les
Rimer, there's a name for a poet.
[www.forwardpress.co.uk]
Interesting! Who on earth would wish to analyse anything I wrote and WHY?!!
Donna (and yes, Rimer is an unfortunate name for someone that scribbles poetry!)
I'm not sure. Is your twelve-year-old named fofoo?
I'd never heard of this site until a friend googled my name and told me about it. As my name has come up, I am mildly curious thats all.
My bet is school assignment.
pam
Welcome, Donna.
Presumably they are your poems referred to, and not some namesake's? Are you curious and brave enough to allow them to be posted here, so the Emule volunteers can offer 'fofo' some suggestions in analysing them? I'd rather call it 'appreciating' or 'critiquing' them', not being a fan of the mechanical poetry analysis process that schools foist on their students, let alone the dreaded 'deconstruction'. However, as this page is for Homework Assistance, we have to pay some regard to what the teachers are believed to want.
Ian
Hi Ian,
yes, the poems were mine (I would not blame them on anyone else! lol) and I never mind critique of my work as it is usually very helpful. I would ask only that people keep in mind that although some of my poems have been published, I write purely for the fun of doing so taking no time over language choice or technical points. Also, the poems 'fofo' mentions were revised before being printed and I prefer the newer versions at www.lavender-mist.org.uk where I post work under the surname of Thompson.
Donna
I prefer the newer versions at www.lavender-mist.org.uk ...
I prefer links that actually exist.
i prefer link sausage, though patties DO have their appeal
Tried it with the hyphen deleted or changed to an underscore and it still doesn’t work. Tried googling Donna Thompson, and found some successful real estate agent(s).
However Donna Rimer, poet, is featured on:
[www.forwardpress.co.uk] />
which publishes, apparently with DR's blessing, the very same five poems referred to, and in the same order, so that may well be where they caught fofo’s teacher’s fancy, to be presented as an assignment for analysis. Here they are:
Time
Oh mistress time give back
the strength of yesteryears.
When dreams dangled from stars
to be picked as easily as apples.
When days stretched lazily,
pregnant with possibilities
and the only illumination
nights knew or needed
was love.
Greedily you have robbed
with unseen hands.
You have taken friends,
stolen youth.
Invisible and yet
your footprints lay across this
body and face as clear as in any
soft sand,
evidence of your frequent, silent
visits.
And I feel you now,
watching,
waiting.
The one I once called friend,
planning what will be
the ultimate act
of betrayal.
Fallen Angel
Silently the moon bleeds
it's sorrow
as it hides behind clouds
of tears.
And nobody sees her,
covered in shadows,
spinning out of control
and falling.
Once they danced in her light
and bathed in her laughter
as they watched her fly,
soar.
Not noticing when the laugh
was too loud
and the light too bright,
burning a hole in her
soul.
No-one tried to reach her or
teach her that love
was more than just a word
to be tossed into darkness.
Nobody tried,
nobody listened.
So she searched,
places and faces,
fleeing demons and chasing
dreams until
even hope left.
And no-one will miss her or
notice she's gone
as alone now
she falls,
still trying to catch stars,
even on her way down.
Another Night
The twisted hands of darkness
caress a meting moon,
as fading stars sing quietly
lullabies that have no tune.
And captured in the shadows,
before a mirror telling lies,
she wonders how much freedom costs
knowing she paid too high a price.
See me, she begs a sightless sky,
hear me, her silent scream.
Save me, she calls to shadows
as stars reflect all that she's been.
And echoes of her solitude
bounce off a rising sun,
as harsh dawn light illuminates
all that she's become.
As the last of nightime vanishes,
with the secrets it has seen,
she stands alone and laughing
but the sound comes out
a scream.
Death of a Dreamer
Speak not of truth,
reality disguise
thy self in sheaths
of pretty lies.
For this unsteady heart
had not the strength
nor fortitude to walk
the length
of endless days
and broken nights,
sweet dreams did shield
my eyes from sights
too harsh for this
weak soul to take,
a rock to grip as
cold waves break
upon a life
kept real by dreams,
alas, no more
for now it seems
truth has coldly prized apart
the dreams kept warm
within this heart.
And as reality
upon me creeps
and hope forsakes,
ambition leaps
away and into
stormy skies,
another daytime
dreamer dies.
Goodbye
Softly now I leave you,
I will go before you wake.
Stealing nothing from you,
just sweet memories I take.
You are better off without me,
in time you'll see it's true,
my love is too demanding,
too much I'll ask of you.
Can you chase away the nightmares?
Can you help me catch the dreams?
Can you stem the tears
and stop the fears
and stifle silent screams?
Can you make my world a better place?
Can you turn the blues to gold?
Can you banish all my demons
and capture hope for me to hold?
Can you take my mind to places?
Would you go out on a limb?
Can you make me feel, once again,
the way I felt with him?
The things I ask are just not fair,
it is better if we part,
so softly now I leave you
with a kiss, if not my heart.
Post Edited (07-01-04 06:28)
Inalertly I have only just noticed that fofo's original post was made more than 8 months ago, which explains why the older hands on this site aren't rushing to offer help now. If he hasn't handed in his assignment by now, he's beyond help!