1 COLD in the earth -- and the deep snow piled above thee,
2 Far, far removed, cold in the dreary grave !
3 Have I forgot, my only Love, to love thee,
4 Severed at last by Time's all-severing wave ?
5 Now, when alone, do my thoughts no longer hover
6 Over the mountains, on that northern shore,
7 Resting their wings where heath and fern-leaves cover
8 Thy noble heart for ever, ever more ?
9 Cold in the earth -- and fifteen wild Decembers
10 From those brown hills, have melted into spring :
11 Faithful, indeed, is the spirit that remembers
12 After such years of change and suffering !
13 Sweet Love of youth, forgive, if I forget thee,
14 While the world's tide is bearing me along ;
15 Other desires and other hopes beset me,
16 Hopes which obscure, but cannot do thee wrong !
17 No later light has lightened up my heaven,
18 No second morn has ever shone for me ;
19 All my life's bliss from thy dear life was given,
20 All my life's bliss is in the grave with thee.
21 But when the days of golden dreams had perished,
22 And even Despair was powerless to destroy,
23 Then did I learn how existence could be cherished,
24 Strengthened, and fed, without the aid of joy.
25 Then did I check the tears of useless passion --
26 Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine ;
27 Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten
28 Down to that tomb already more than mine.
29 And, even yet, I dare not let it languish,
30 Dare not indulge in memory's rapturous pain ;
31 Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,
32 How could I seek the empty world again ?
It seems to me that after pining for her lover for 15 years that Ms. Bronte is finally ready to get on with her life. She was faithful in her rememberance and mourning long enough and she is ready to join the world of the living again.
In my Norton Anthology it says: "Titled in manuscript R. Alcona to J. Breznaida, this poem was originally composed as a lament by the heroine of the Gondal saga for the hero's death."
So, it wasn't a poem from real life: she just tried to write something from her heroines point of view.
She seems to be feeling guilty that she's no longer mourning her lost love.
pam