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Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: May 11, 2004 11:28PM

Someday, I'll walk right up to you,
and give you a deep, slow french kiss -
just like we like 'em.

Someday, I'll ask you out to dinner.
We'll probably be late though,
since we'll have been on the phone
for too late the night before.

And maybe someday I'll even
go so far as to buy you a book of anime
(silly stuff, but hey, it's your thing).

But before then, I have places to go,
things to do, people to see, myself to become.

Because someday, Paris will be ready for me.
And someday, I'll regular pioneer.
Someday, I'll be secure in my faith, and
Jehovah will smile at me again.

I know I'm not ready yet, but I will be.

Someday.


Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Breathing Oxide (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: May 12, 2004 12:26AM

Ahhhhhhhhh I'm liking, an strange touch to it, but it speaks like you spoke it.


4

................................................ Breathe The Silent Breath Of Hate Swallowed Unto Evils Gates.......... Know That I Reek Of You............. Your Killing Me........................... ..............................................


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Percival (---.humboldt1.com)
Date: May 12, 2004 01:50AM

Applaud


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: K.Q. (212.118.14.---)
Date: May 12, 2004 02:37AM

I love your transparency!

But before then, I have places to go,
things to do, people to see, myself to become.

Beautiful!


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: lgreen (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: May 12, 2004 02:59AM

"I need to put me together-" -tis best to do so....although, when I met my now husband (for coming up on 28 years) I was somewhat scattered..he held my hand and joined me in the journey to (we had no real idea at the time) where life led us....have enjoyed our journey and enjoyed the read--nice to see you writing and posting more lately...Ell

Ell


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Tempest (219.233.10.---)
Date: May 12, 2004 04:31AM

Your work has changed alot, Lady, since I first came here....with experience comes wisdom? I like this one alot.
Cheers.

Life don't seem fair to us, I know, But it don't help none to whine, If life was fair, your horse would get To ride you half the time. --Terry


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: illudiumphosdex (209.101.250.---)
Date: May 12, 2004 09:07AM

The only critique I have is L14, I feel like there are words missing before "regular pioneer"...

Lady, I wish I could write this type of poem...direct, conversational, and frank. You have done an excellent job, and you pulled me in, just for a minute, and I was lost in the dialogue. Thanks for the read.

- Bob


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Gwydion (209.53.139.---)
Date: May 12, 2004 12:38PM


Lady,
How very real!

But before then, I have places to go,
things to do, people to see, myself to become.

Myself to become...amazing how three little words can strike such emotion.

Thank you for sharing.


It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: raven eyes (---.tyrd.cox-internet.com)
Date: May 12, 2004 11:40PM

I'm not sure if this is a hypthetical person you are writing about but if so I love how you use "just like we like 'em." You definately voiced my feelings right now and I wish that time that you speak of were sooner than later, especially getting back with god again cuz im so lost right now.

Signature: This world ceaselessly kicks me in the nuts, and after so much, i almost like it.


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: May 12, 2004 11:56PM

Oxide,

Thanks ya muchly. What's the '4' all about? And what do you mean by a "strange touch?"

Percival,

joins in the applause (just for fun)

K.Q.,

My transparency???? Where?? paranoid J/k, j/k. Thanks smiling smiley

Ell,

I'm glad things have worked out so well for you and your husband. It's a rare thing these days; don't ever take it for granted. I tried that method a couple times, but the men never fell in love with me confused smiley So I figure, this time around, if I know and am strong enough in myself, maybe I'll be more attractive. I seem to be seriously lacking the whole "broken girl" charm, lol.

Tempest,

How long have you been around? How do you think it's changed? You've caught my attention; it seems you really pay attention and appreciate work. I like that in a reader/writer. I try to read the poetry around here, and often do, I just don't normally comment.

Ill,

You have a point, and I'm not exactly sure how to fix it. See, here's the situation. "Regular pioneer," in the way that myself (and the subject) know and understand it, is a verb. It basically means a full-time minister. So I'm thinking of rewording it so that the common public can understand, but I'm not used to writing for the public, although there are a lot of reasons to do so. Thank you for your criticism and time. You wish you could write direct, conversational and frank? But.. it's so.. unpoetic! It's prose, really. I wish I could write poetry!

Gwydion,

I'm glad you recognized this as being real, because it IS real, so your seeing that means a lot to me. Thank you. And thank you also for seeing the meaing behind those three words. I tend to write with a bunch of what I see to be powerful phrases, but to most are just words confused smiley So thank you for reading the meaning behind them. Appreciations!

Raven,

nervous laugh Uhhhm, hmm. Well, when he read this, he goes "is this about me? Huh? Huh? Yeahhh, I thought so!" So yes, it is, even though for the record, it's hypothetical! I never ACTUALLY admitted it; I just laughed and told him it was a secret. However, the meaning behind the piece doesn't revolve around him as an individual. It basically just means that there's a person (but it could BE any person; there just happens to be one in particular) that I am attracted to, but I know I'm not ready for it. I'm going to do things right this time around, and I am finally okay with that, for the first time in my life.


THAT is what this piece is about. I can ony hope that I was able to convey the feelings.


Thank you so much, everybody. I really appreciate your time and appreciations. I DO read the other pieces, I just don't usually comment on them. You're all very, very good poets. I'm surprised by the volume of replies! And flattered smiling smiley Thanks again.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Jean-Paul (---.nt.net)
Date: May 15, 2004 12:17AM

LON
I get the distinct impression from this poem alone that you have been struggling as of late. It is commendable how you recognize what your priorities should be. You are in the "Bloom of Youth" and that is a good point to start "buying out the opportune time".
We had a meeting tonight (combined book study) and our C.O. was there. His talk was centered on youth and what their proper goals in life should be.
Your poem hit the nail on the head.

Bravo

"I "Love Summer more than I hate Winter"


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: May 15, 2004 06:26AM

Pfft Nutmeg,

Poetry is art, and is therefore subjective depending on the "eye of the beholder," just as attraction is.

As far as the regular pioneer line goes, I agree with Bob that it is awkward to those of us that aren't part of that particular group (Just recently found out that my family on my mum's side were all masons sad smiley Go figure eh? So now I need to decide whether or not to join. It would aid me iin both business and politics, but of course there is a cost to that... anyway. nm. grrrr). There are a couple of things that you could do with the line. You could put write it with the words emphasized like so, "Regular Pioneer" or you could add the words as a, before the regular pioneer, or perhaps even do both? It might help to clarify the line and therefore the content.

Also, S2 L4 I think would read better if For was replaced by Far.

Second to last line nd using an ellipses, rather than just a period, to denote the fact that there are still things left unsaid.

Thars your critique Nootmeeg.

and maybe, just maybe, SOMEDAY you will realise that you are already beautiful and have been all along. Don't judge yourself by a mirror with a tarnished backing dear. Quit staring at the flaws (which are really your perfections in anycase) and look for the divinity that is God's image within you.

and thars my preaching.

Go fish!

winking smiley


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: twotenranch (---.tnt1.den4.da.uu.net)
Date: May 15, 2004 10:44AM

Dame de la Noche
Like it.
Of course,, I like all your poems that I've read so far.
Bruce, good to see your name here again.

Terry


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Re: Someday, but not right now... and that's okay!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: May 15, 2004 02:03PM

Jean-Paul,

Salut, mon frere. Ca va? I'm glad you liked the piece, and thank you for the scriptural references.

Brucie,

Yes, it is good to see your name around these parts again smiling smiley I was thinking earlier today how to fix the 'regular pioneer' line. Haven't decided, but I am thinking and I will fix it. I may change 'for' to 'far.' The only reason that I wouldn't, is because that's not how I talk, and this is supposed to be a relaxed, prosaic piece. Not sure I'll use an ellipses, either. I'm not sure if I want it to be finite or not. I know that when I read a piece, if there's an ellipses, I kinda slowly trail off, and I don't want the reader to do that.

gasp am I using punctuation to tell you how to read????

Terry,

My faithful fan, lol. mwah Thank you.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


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