Magical Hands

When fantasizing love,
Often, we fall prey to
Stereotypes implanted
Deeply into our minds;
Favoring ocean-deep
Eyes, Juicy-cherry lips,
And silken complexion,
We overlook the pacts
Of magic done by hands!

Hands tell us histories,
Of delicacy’s treat .
Palms peel into passion,
Penetrating through bones.
Fingers count the countless
Encounters with luscious skin,
Sowing expectations
Beyond imagined bliss.
Goosebumps release a soul!



Post Edited (03-24-04 05:47)

I like your poetry KQ, but I'm never sure what to write in response. You have a great command of the English language and write better than most on this board.

JP

thanks for the compliment, but I think you are exaggerating a bit! I apreciate criticism : form, technique, language and subject matter! Dissect me! Go on! I can never refuse a learning opportunity!Teach me!

Many are visual, a large number are tactile and if you are one of the lucky few who are both count your blessings. I like it.

Debutant

Thank you Debutant. I fear I am merely a good dreamer !

Interesting wordplay and imagery, but what's a chameleon complexion?

I was hoping not to be asked that, as it is one of the details I surredered to choosing, cause I found no alternative. A "chamelion" is a lizard that changes colors to fit the occasion, for survival. Skin apparently shiny! Can you find a better word to function in this way? I appreciate your interest!!!!

Beautiful, KQ! This piece is succulent.

JP is right, you have a great understanding of the language and speak it very well!

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)

Keeping the alliteration, polychromatic or kaleidoscope might fit. Other considerations could be motley (although negative nuances as well), mosaic, or even florid. Colorful is too hackneyed, sure:

[tinyurl.com]

K.Q.,

Fingers count the countless
Encounters with luscious skin,
Sowing expectations
Beyond imagined bliss.
Goosebumps release a soul!

Very nice.

john

Thanks a lot Hugh for the effort, link and interest! I selected a ,perhaps, better word and edited the post. I do appreciate it!

Thank you Gwyn for the flattering comment. I always appreciate your support.

John, thanks a lot; I'm flattered by your comment!

Once again, nice piece K.Q. They do seem be overlooked in our lusts, yet play such an important part in love.

Thanks Adler. Overlooked because we're kind of programed to function stereotypically, without reflection, perhaps?!

I used to like this more; now I like it less!

K.Q.:

You have great talent for looking beyond the obvious and for sharing your astute observations with us in beautiful fashion. You've certainly done that here. Very nice.

JoeT

Thank you a lot Joseph. I appreciate your opinion!

I can't believe I hadn't posted on this, K.Q. Great read.

Les

K.Q.,

I guess the trouble I have with it is the line breaks. I have read this poem now maybe twelve times, and I have not commented because it did not read right for me. I could not read it as written, but I did not know why. This time I see there are at least two line breaks that do not work for me and that undemines the poem.

Keep at it,

Peter

Many thanks , Les. I appreciate the kind words.

Thank you too Peter. I really appreciate your reading this many times. I also can almost see why it doesn't work for you. If you could be more specific and show where, I'd be obliged!

Thanks for the great poem, K.Q. It all flows very nicely except for these lines:

Fingers count the countless
Encounters with luscious skin,

I tend to read it like this: Fingers count the countless. Encounters with luscious skin,.... And it doesn't make sense until I go back and reread it. I'm not sure if anyone else had that problem, but a great read nontheless!

Matt

Thanks Matt. I think you have a point there. No, I am sure you have a point there! I read it again and I hated how it sounded! Now you have me thinking of what to do!! Any suggestions ?

I looked at it for a while and this is what I came up with, I just changed the spacing around to make it flow better when you read it. Tell me what you think.


Hands tell us histories,
Of delicacy’s treat.
Palms peel into passion,
Penetrating through bones.
Fingers count the
Countless encounters with
Luscious skin,
Sowing expectations
Beyond imagined bliss.
Goosebumps release a soul!


-Matt

Matt, I really appreciate your effort. I can sense your ear's taste for rhythm, and how you like it lighter than my rather condenced version if I am reading into your suggestion well. I don;t know hether this is silly or not, but when I qrite , my internal tempo kind of like fixes a syllable number sometimes(six syllable per line here) that would be broken by your
suggestion , which I highly regard! Do you think this sounds better:

Fingers create countless
Encounters with luscious skin,

oh, the second line here is also broken!! Well , I think I'll keep thinking! Thanks for drawing my attention to this!