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Permets-moi de t'aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 26, 2004 01:57PM

(Apologies in advance for any mistakes in <> and I welcome any corrections!)




My love...
Mon cheri...
Je t'aime.

I want to fly away with you!
I want to bring you to my land,
a world without time to interfere with all
that we are!

Veux-tu unir ton âme à la mienne?
I love you! Let us have intellectual intercourse.
Allons a Paris et nous coucher avec le pays!
Aimons sans raison - s'il vous plait...

There is so much to be explored,
so much to be loved, to be breathed!
I am renewed. Let me refresh you!
S'il vous plait, permets-moi de tu régénérer!

Tes baisers, ton embrasse, ton amour...
I am addicted. Let me addict you!

Come unto me, let me kiss you...
Dissolve your soul into my own -
I'll do the same -
and we shall fall in love... so gracefully,
so fervently, so passionately, with such flame!

Let me love you.
Permets-moi de t'aimer!

My love...
Mon cheri...
Je t'aime.



Post Edited (05-02-04 12:42)

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: January 26, 2004 05:30PM

Wow, this is really emotionally charged, Lady. I enjoyed the read. Probably my favorite of all your poems.

Les


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: psychofemale (---.accel.atl.earthlink.net)
Date: January 26, 2004 05:40PM

I really loved this....very
enchanting.....I like it alot!

~and now you fade away, you're all i was before.~ one less reason


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Gwydion (209.53.139.---)
Date: January 26, 2004 05:44PM



Lady, It is so refreshing to read your work, you write so eloquently!

This is a beautiful and inviting piece, thank you for sharing.


It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.dialsprint.net)
Date: January 26, 2004 08:09PM

Les,

I am flattered, truly. I like it myself, so I'm glad everyone else does smiling smiley

Psycofemale,

Thank you for reading and appreciating. Enchanting? Thanks!

Gwydion,

Thank you as well. I'm flattered to think that you see this as eloquent. Pleasantly surprised smiling smiley Thank you.


Does anyone have any suggestions or comments? Shall I translate the French?

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: psychofemale (---.accel.atl.earthlink.net)
Date: January 26, 2004 08:15PM

yeap enchanting!

~and now you fade away, you're all i was before.~ one less reason


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: J.H.SUMMERS (---.chartertn.net)
Date: January 26, 2004 09:46PM

Dear Lady,

I know that I like everything that is in English. I will pass judgement on the rest until I see it translated. This is a good line, "Let us have intellectual intercourse." Hey, you might even want to develop that into a poem. Hehe!

john


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Shadow of Phantoms (208.14.26.---)
Date: January 27, 2004 03:06AM

Wow! I love the French language and this is great. I love this. This is very...wow is a good word to use. To anyone who can't understand the french I must say that you should learn just for this. Bravo!

Tes baisers, ton embrasse, ton amour...
I am addicted. Let me addict you!

Great stuff. You mix the two languages very nicely in this. Besides that it really has a nice touch and I know Gwydion doesn't understand french because she didn't write the analysis on this one. I'd actually like to see it and no I wasn't meaning to be tacky Gwydion. I love this poem. The one who inspired this should inspire more.

...and everyone dances with his favorite phantom.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.dialsprint.net)
Date: January 27, 2004 10:19AM

JHS,

Shall I give you a translation, then? Some - but not all - of it is simply repeating the English, only in French. Oh, and "Intellectual Intercourse" is a poem I wrote a few years ago. Beat ya to it smiling smiley I do believe it is on this forum; at least, it was way back when.

Shadow,

Again, I am flattered! They should learn French just for this? What a compliment smiling smiley Did I get the French right? I was having to rely on the translator for some of it. I know "gros(es) bises" (sp?) means "Hugs and kisses," but that's as a salutation in a letter, isn't it? The translator told me that "kisses" as in "some kisses" was baisers, n'est-ce pas? Did you see any mistakes in my French that I should correct?

Merci beaucoup!

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.dialsprint.net)
Date: January 27, 2004 10:43AM

(a translation)


My love...
Mon cheri... (1)
Je t'aime. (2)

I want to fly away with you!
I want to bring you to my land,
a world without time to interfere with all
that we are!

Voulez-vous vous coucher avec mon esprit? (3)
I love you! Let us have intellectual intercourse.
Allons a Paris et nous nous couche avec le pays! (4)
Aimons sans raison - s'il vous plait... (5)

There is so much to be explored,
so much to be loved, to be breathed!
I am renewed. Let me refresh you!
S'il vous plait, permettez-moi de vous régénérer! (6)

Tes baisers, ton embrasse, ton amour... (7)
I am addicted. Let me addict you!

Come unto me, let me kiss you...
Dissolve your soul into my own -
I'll do the same -
and we shall fall in love... so gracefully,
so fervently, so passionately, with such flame!

Let me love you.
Permettez-moi de vous aimer! (8)

My love...
Mon cheri... (1)
Je t'aime. (2)


(1) "My love..."
(2) "I love you."
(3) "Do you want to sleep with my spirit?"
(4) "Let's go to Paris and sleep with the country!"
(5) "Let's love without reason - please..."
(6) "Please, let me refresh you!"
(7) "Your kisses, your embrace, your love..."
(8) "Let me love you!"


Note: This is a poetic translation, not a literal translation. Example: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec mon esprit?" literally translates to "Do you want to go to bed with my spirit?" but it is used in the sense of "do you want to sleep with my spirit?" as in... well, sleeping with someone. At least, that's the way the verb is used in Lady Marmalade (Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir = Do you want to sleep with me tonight? -- only they have bad grammar in order to match the metre). I think!! Again, open for correction!

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: lgreen (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: January 27, 2004 11:10AM

Lady: wow! How so very romantic and inviting, I must say---thanks for the translation---tis amazing how someone can turn your head when it is down.............xx Ell


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.dialsprint.net)
Date: January 27, 2004 01:23PM

Ell,

Thank you smiling smiley And yes, it is amazing. My boyfriend Chris was around when I would rant and rave about how there are no men in the world, that I truly believe I'm going to die single, and that my eyes are open to the possibility of someone restoring my faith, but that I doubt it's going to happen..... and, well, here he is smiling smiley Most men would've given up right then, but he's not most.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: January 27, 2004 04:51PM

  1. Sometimes
    1. Lady of the Night
    2. Hey you with the *****
    3. Spiritual Struggle
    4. Mini Reeses
    5. Friends with Complications
    6. California
    7. What I wish I had
    8. For you know who
    9. Atrophy
    10. La Cote du Maine
    11. Untitled #315 on the list
    12. A Tribute to Hotornot
    13. Down to you
    14. I'm Searching for Something
    15. Intellectual Intercourse
    16. I cry too
    17. Victims of Bipolar
    18. Angel in disguise
    19. The Brick Wall
    20. Glass Teardrops
    21. You Should've
    22. Number Two

Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: January 27, 2004 05:13PM

  1. Stay with me
    1. Bruce!!!
    2. My Interim Report
    3. Squeals EEEw!
    4. Troubador
    5. For Every You there is an I
    6. Where Demons Dare not Tread
    7. Another Untitled #1973
    8. Me, Catch-22
    9. For Jeremy
    10. Untitled #1981
    11. Break Me
    12. The Life I have, The Life I want
    13. In Need of a Philosophy
    14. You open up the door and let me in, (ok you guys I know it sucks)
    15. Untitled #2283
    16. Number 9
    17. Long Thoughts of July 2nd
    18. Untitled #2341
    19. O Father of Mine
    20. I Love You
    21. Suffocation
    22. Appreciations in Advance

Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.southk01.tn.comcast.net)
Date: January 27, 2004 05:14PM

Did you seriously just do that for me????????

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: January 27, 2004 05:19PM

No, I did it jokingly. LOL. One note of advice, since the numbers on your search change every time you post. It's a good idea to TITLE everyone of your posts. If you can't think of something good, just use the first line.

Les


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Jean-Paul (---.nt.net)
Date: January 28, 2004 03:09AM

Very good m'lady

I tried respondind to your EMail, but my system kept freezing. I will have to wait for the next one.
I hope it works: and, if both of you follow Jah's advice about dating, it will be into Paradise itself you two will trod hand in hand. This should be viewed as a step toward permanence. I pray it turns out well.

Nice positive honest poem.
I'm in awe.

Agape

Jean-Paul Bonhomme

"I "Love Summer more than I hate Winter"


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: twotenranch (---.tnt1.alamagordo.nm.da.uu.net)
Date: January 28, 2004 10:54AM

Being quadrilingual,, (English, Spanish, German, Cowboy) I truly appreciate poetry in other languages.

There was a German officer who spoke only French and believed all officers should, German, he said, was too harsh a language for gentlemen to speak.

Not speaking French myownselfie, and having avoided France like the plague since military days forty some years ago, I still tend to agree with that long forgotten German officer.

French is a beautiful language, and should not be translated in poetry. As Italian is the language of opera, French is an international language of peotry.

Won't explain further, but understood the line-Voulez-vous vous coucher avec mon esprit That is sure not the way I would have spelled it.

However, love this poem.

Terry


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: twotenranch (---.tnt1.alamagordo.nm.da.uu.net)
Date: January 28, 2004 10:55AM

Met a copilot last summer who by his own words, spoke fluent "Tratior"

Terry


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.dialsprint.net)
Date: January 28, 2004 05:19PM

Jean-Paul,

Merci beaucoup. Why don't you ever use His full name???

Terry,

Sad that you should avoid France sad smiley They are my people! Kind of. Being a European mutt, I can claim some of 'em. What is tratior?

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Jean-Paul (---.nt.net)
Date: January 30, 2004 03:10AM

LON,

Again, nice work.

I do use Jehovah's full name; on the other hand, people don't realize how often the do use his name because they don't recognize some of the short forms and different references to it.
ie- Hallelujah (Praise Jah you people), John (English translation of Jehohanan, meaning "Jehovah has shown favor; Jehovah has been gracious", Jesus (Hebrew- Jeshua, "Jehovah is my salvation"), Joel (Jehovah is God), etc.
I admit I overcompensate sometimes, but I like "Jah" (He rules). Look in the "Insight" book. It is a poetic, shortened form of Jehovah and is found, as the first half of the Hebrew Tetragrammaton, 50 times in the original Hebrew scriptures (26 times alone and 24 as part of Hallelujah).

Agape

Jean-Paul Bonhomme

PS- Say hi to Christopher from me.

"I "Love Summer more than I hate Winter"


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Francesca (---.cibc.ca)
Date: January 30, 2004 11:37AM

Lady of the Night, that's a very interesting bilingual poem. Being French, I couldn't help but notice two things:

1) you are using "tu" (as in "je t'aime) and then after you are using "vous". Wouldn't it be better if you were using one of them only? "Tu" is used when speaking to a close friend, it's more familiar, "vous" is more polite, and it is used when speaking to somebody you don't know, an elder or a group of people.

2) "Allons a Paris et nous nous couche avec le pays"
The repetition of the "nous" is not necessary here. I would suggest:

Allons à Paris nous coucher avec le pays

Just my humble opinion, though...it's still your poem! ;o)

Very original!


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.dialsprint.net)
Date: January 30, 2004 06:54PM

Jean-Paul,

Someone told me once, in reference to my talking about you, that if you refuse to use Jehovah's full name, it means you're probably apostate. So I figured, since you always use Jah or JG (how slang! Sorry confused smiley ), you were either apostate or lazy. My apologies if I am wrong (and I hope I am about the first one). Thank you for clarifying.

Francesca,

Thank you for correcting me. I used "vous" because... he's older? But then again, he IS close. I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to use "tu" in the second circumstance because he's older, but I thought it would be weird saying "Je vous aime," even though he is, because he's not my father. So, would I instead say "veux-tu te couche avec mon esprit"? In reference to the double "nous," my teacher explained to us (or so I thought) that you would have to use it doubly because it's a reflexive verb. The subject being "nous," the verb being "nous coucher," just like "je me couche, tu te couche, il/elle se couche," etc. etc. Am I wrong? Thanks again! Oh, and do you know how else I c/w/should say "Do you want to sleep with my spirit?" I know the way I have it is asking "do you want to go to bed with my spirit?" which just sounds... odd. Help me out! smiling smiley

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Francesca (---.35-201-24.mc.videotron.ca)
Date: January 31, 2004 12:04AM

Lady of the Night, that's the beauty of the English language! "You" is so simple, so easy to use, as opposed to "tu" and "vous" in French! You don't have to wonder about which one to use!

Let me just say that when I meet someone I don't know, I will say "vous", even if the person is young, be it in a store or at the coffee shop. It's more polite. But if I get to know this person a bit more and I see him/her everyday, I will start saying "tu", it's easier, you know! Although, sometimes, I will keep on saying "vous", especially if the person is somewhat older than me. I know, it's complicated, even more so with poetry!

So, I will try to answer your questions and help you, although I've always found it hard to translate a poem word for word, and I've tried many times!

If you know this person fairly well and you are comfortable enough not to consider him as your "superior", for lack of better words, then in the French language, you should say "tu", in my own humble opinion! Once more, for the sake of making it easy!

So "Permettez-moi de vous aimer" would become

"Permets-moi de t'aimer"

As for the reflexive verb, your teacher is right, but in that case, you don't have to use it. It makes no sense if you do! An example of the reflexive verb would be:

"Would you like to go?"

=

"Voulez-vous vous en aller?"

Trust me, it's better if you don't use it here! But it's a very tricky rule, and I can understand that you're having some trouble with that one!

All right, now for the really tricky question:

"Do you want to go to bed with my spirit?"

Wow, that's a hard one!

"Voulez-vous coucher avec mon esprit?" - that would be the word for word translation. I would prefer:

"Voulez-vous unir (unite) votre âme à la mienne?"

or

"Veux-tu unir ton âme à la mienne?"

because in my mind, to go to bed with someone is to be united with that someone.

I hope this helped some! Wow! That was fun, after all! ;o)


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Jean-Paul (---.nt.net)
Date: January 31, 2004 03:35AM

LON,

You were definitely wrong, but I don't blame you.
I do owe Jehovah an apology, even if one person got the wrong idea.
Perhaps it is fear of men. I maintain though, that his name is used a lot more than people realize. Do they even know that his name literally means "He causes to become"?
I have been spiritually weak lately, and I have been bombarded with thorns; however, I am loyal and in good standing.
I owe our creator more than what I have given (and I could have given him a lot more)
I think a lot, lately, about the ransom; consequently, I feel ashamed for my many misdeeds.
I can hardly wait for Death to be abolished.
No, I'm not apostate; on the other hand, I should not be considered exemplary.
I thank him for the language of poetry and all the other good gifts we see.
He deserves more than our praise; though, he deserves our obedience and I am lacking.

"I "Love Summer more than I hate Winter"


Re: Permettez-moi de vous aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.dialsprint.net)
Date: January 31, 2004 02:00PM

Francesca,

Thank you so much smiling smiley I really appreciate the time you put into your reply. I will take your suggestions, as you obviously know French better than I do, lol. Now, "ame" (I apologize about the lack of accents)... does this mean heart? That's what a translation site told me, but I thought "heart" was coeur. So basically, how does "Veux-tu unir ton âme à la mienne?" translate? Yes, going to bed with someone is uniting, but I'm looking for more of a spiritual marriage... the intertwining of one soul with the next, umm... "intercourse" being metaphorical. Hard to explain confused smiley My poem "Intellectual Intercourse" has nothing to do with sex. Rather, it's all about falling in love with someone, craving their intellectuality, etc. etc..

Jean-Paul,

I'll be emailing you shortly, from my Yahoo! account (I'll put my name in the subject).

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Permets-moi de t'aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Jean-Paul (---.nt.net)
Date: February 11, 2004 03:28AM

Is everything okay?
You haven't said much lately.

Agape

Jean-Paul

"I "Love Summer more than I hate Winter"


Re: Permets-moi de t'aimer (Let me love you)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: May 02, 2004 01:44PM

Personal Bump for a friend of mine so he can read it. Also, I've taken away the dedication because he doesn't deserve it, and I think the poem takes on a whole new meaning without it, and I much better like it that way.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.




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