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Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 07, 2003 04:34AM

Fingertips

Think of me when you get there,
when you crunch down snow-filled
driveways, bag over shoulder,
captivating grin warming the winter.

Be careful, and wear warm wool,
because the snow is aggressively
cold, nipping at your toes, biting,
chewing with wet, cotton socks.

Give me a call when you're back in town,
and I'll buy you dinner. Call me
from there when you're feeling alone -
No worries, I'll miss you, too.

Be careful, and don't crucify hearts,
for when one is as charming
as you, feelings and emotions are as Jesus,
given and sacrificed in the faith of the greater good.

When you check your soft reflection
before rushing out the door, notice
that your eyes sparkle, they stand out
like you do, and are appreciated.

Your warm eyes, and the something I felt
course through my veins now, and I can't
forget, no matter how much I'll want to.
And it's all because like me, you're one of a
kind, and I have to hold on to the last shred of faith
that I truly exist, and am loved. I ask only
for fingertips...

a thought of me in a winter wonderland,
a phone call in the dark,
a bit of care for my well-being, and
a faith that you'll be there to catch me,
if ever I should fall.





Heartbreaker

Ashton eyes of the softest brown,
that melt, build, relax or ignite
at will.

Natural charm of the princes:
why should you care for us
peasants?

A face so sensitive, it coaxes --
entices! -- a girl to confide,
to believe reality,
because you are her dream,
materialized.

A friendlier flirtatiousness
adds to the snow of butterflies
fluttering in the belly of the
young teen, hoping you'll
pick her from the rest.

Will you?

Alas, no, for you have dreams too high,
roads too long, and determination too strong
to allow for distractions from your goal.

But somehow, we just don't get it...

instead, those eyes do what they will,
and we are clay to their mold,
the nail to the hammer,
the beat of the heart that breaks.




-- Copyright December 2003. Megan A. Clemmer



Post Edited (01-08-04 23:32)

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Jean-Paul Bonhomme (209.226.90.---)
Date: December 07, 2003 09:26AM

I like the way you started the first poem (Fingertips), but you totally changed focus, rhyme and meter.
The first three "stanzas" were fairly cohesive, but the next two drifted off.
What followed was still nice but was too different to be part of the same work.
It's as if you grew frustrated with the direction your poem was taking and dtarted off on a new path. It resulted in two partial poems, two different stories.
They are still good, but need to be developed to be whole.

I glaced at the next poem and I like the way it started:

Ashton eyes of the softest brown,
that melt, build, relax or ignite
at will

This set the tone right away.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Debutant (---.range81-152.btcentralplus.com)
Date: December 07, 2003 10:12AM

Lady, I love the first and liked the second.
Best image:

I grew up in the snow,
so I know about wet socks.

The image is just brilliant because it coveyed all the cold and wetness of winter, snow and associated smells with it as well...lol.

The 'interference' spoils that stanza for me in the second poem



Post Edited (12-07-03 12:48)


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: twotenranch (---.75.20.211.Dial1.Phoenix1.Level3.net)
Date: December 07, 2003 10:47AM

I am delighted to see a familiar byline hereupon.
Liked both.
Also I grew up in the snow,, so I live on the Mexican border.
Bienvienidos Dama de la Noche.

Terry


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: December 07, 2003 11:00AM

Lady, I really liked these.

The first poem exuded warmth of heart, just what we need right about now in most parts of this country and elsewhere in the northern hemisphere.

The second poem was so true that I chuckled as I read it. We are so enamored with the physical that we forget to see below the surface sometimes.

The third poem was just a nice reflection on life.


Les


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Hugh Clary (---.phoenix-01rh15-16rt.az.dial-access.att.net)
Date: December 07, 2003 11:36AM

Think of me when you get there,
when you crunch down snow-filled
driveways, bag over shoulder,
captivating grin warming the winter.


Very nice!


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: J.H.SUMMERS (---.chartertn.net)
Date: December 07, 2003 03:12PM

Lady,

I liked the Fingertips poem, I grew up in the snow and can now do without it...but of course we do see our share in East Tennessee. I liked the line, "I pioneered down frozen driveways." Winter can be a real struggle.

john


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: omantic_53 (159.87.239.---)
Date: December 07, 2003 05:23PM

I enjoyed them both very much.
In fingertips, each one could of us could get perhaps, a different take on it. But so what! To me it is the vision or visions I attain from reading a story or a poem. I have to be able to visualize or feel what the author has written. In both your pieces I have been able to do so............thankss


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 07, 2003 05:49PM

Monsieur Bonhomme,

I agree that the rhythm changed, but I'm finding it harder and harder to obey "rules" in poetry, so I'm often straddling the fence between poetry and prose. (Hey, speaking of the fence... being that you claim to be JW, perhaps you'd get a kick out of this. In service the other day, someone told a story about how his grandmother [a black sister, and so full of "black" spunk and fire] used to tell him "Get off that fence!! It's the DEVIL'S fence!!" Others may or may not appreciate.... thought you might). Anywho, back to the poem, umm.... well, actually, I want to give more time for people to comment to see if anyone gets closer to what I meant. If not, then I'll see that I totally screwed up, will explain what I meant, and hopefully get some tips on how to better express that.

Debutant,

How does the 'interference' spoil the stanza? Do you have any advice on how I could re-write it and give the same idea?

Terry,

A familiar byline? Isn't a byline the author's name? Merci beaucoup, et bon soir a toi, aussi.

Les,

The third poem...? Oh, man. If Jean-Paul is right, and the first sounds like two different poems so much so that you think there were three...... that's bad. Also, it's not quite so much the physical in Heartbreaker... okay, well, that's a lot of it (what can I say? The guy's a cutie), as the fact that girls so often fall for him, when he doesn't feel the same, and we (not I, but girls) fall for him because of his charm, flirtatiousness, and resemblance to Ashton Kutcher (hence 'Ashton eyes').

Hugh,

Thanks for reading, buddy smiling smiley

JHS,

I don't much care for snow, either. I mean, yeah, it's gorgeous and fun and I miss it sometimes, but... winter is so long! Although the way Robert talks of Minnesota does sound tempting... Also, when I said "pioneered," I meant that I was putting in full-time hours of field service (although I wasn't technically a pioneer). After a person has been baptized for six months, he or she can apply to be a pioneer, which means they're required to put in... 840 hours of preaching in one year, which breaks down to about 70 per month (although the monthly isn't required). However, I wasn't baptized at the time, so I wasn't a pioneer, although I did put in the same amount of hours as the pioneers of my congregation. That's what I meant..... however, I don't expect most people to get that (although the subject would). I do like that people could get something from the term, though, and I suppose it's true -- it does take a pioneer to pioneer!

Omantic,

I'm glad I was able to help you visualize and feel the words. That's my aim.

Thank you all for reading! Get back to me as per my response, if ya can.

Lady of the Night


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: December 08, 2003 01:34AM

Hey Lady Nutmeg,

You called, and I have come.

Fingertips is exceptional. You can stand proud with the best writers of free verse prose with this one, but Ashton eyes, is, I am sorry to say; a bit too mundane to rate the same.

Even with Fingertips there are a few things that you might want to look at. These being:

driveways, bag over shoulder, (why the missing your? It only serves to make the lines less even, and fails to add anything to the poem as a whole.)

cold, nipping at your toes, biting,
chewing(,) with wet() cotton socks.

No worries, I'll miss you() too. (I feel that the contraction detracts; try it without).

as you, feelings and emotions are as Jesus(winking smiley

I hanged my share of hearts, (this line seems awkward, and I am unsure that it is grammatically correct. Look to the line following it as well).

to the last shred of faith that I truly exist, (this line needs a little bit of work as well.)

a thought of me in a winter wonderland, (this line is cliché dear. You have proven in the preceding lines that you are imaginative and highly original. Don't stop now. Find your own voice.)

Again Nutmeg, this is superlative work, and I am only being picky, because this is as close to perfection as I have seen in poetry, and I think that it would be a pity to fall short.

Sincerely, yer cabbage,


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Jean-Paul Bonhomme (---.nt.net)
Date: December 08, 2003 01:42AM

Don't get me wrong, I like what you wrote. I merely think you have more here than you realize.

As per the fence, it belongs to Satan. That's where he wants us to be; because, as long as we are on it, we are on his side and not JG's.
I knew exactly what you meant by the term "Pioneer" too; on the other hand, it also sounds good in the context I believe that JH took it.

I think you write with a surprising maturity. Keep it up.

Jean-Paul Bonhomme


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Debutant (---.range81-152.btcentralplus.com)
Date: December 08, 2003 06:42AM

Lady,

I felt that by the time I pronounced in-ter-fer-rence, I have lost the flow.

How about this:

Alas, no, for you have dreams too high,
roads too long, and determination too strong
to allow for distractions from your goal.


Which alliterates with dreams and determination.

:-)
Debutant



Post Edited (12-08-03 07:23)


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: E.J. Lewis (---.dial.proxad.net)
Date: December 08, 2003 02:17PM

  1. Who is the author of these poems ? Lady of the Night or Megan A. Clemmer who gets the copyright byline ?
    1. Practice what you preach ! Why submit two unrelated poems under the same heading ? Review your comments in your 02-08-03 10:28 and 02-24-03 20:48.
    2. Fingertips
      Do I detect a bit of cacaphony in L-5 ? That's quite a mouthful- "wear warm
      wool" ? Plus, you've already used your "w's" in L-4 - "warming the winter".
      Hey, there you go again. In L-36 you say "winter wonderland" - kind of repetitive - no ? How about that "winter wonderland" - didn't Crosby use it in one of his Xmas songs ?
      You mention "wet socks" at least twice- L-8 and L-24. This probably prompted the Google people to put their socks ad in the advertising section at the top of the page - 25 million (pairs) ! Also, you talk about chewing wet, cotton socks in L-8 - a mite indigestible, no ? And you insist upon wearing warm wool socks yet get cold feet from the cotton jobs. How about trying some nylons.
      Don't like your "agressive" cold - biting and nipping are sufficient.
      In L-3 you talk about "driveways" and then again in L-21. Too repetitious.

      Your use of rhyme, rhythm, continuity and imagery is covered by others.

      Seems a bit "off-the-top-of-the-head" kind of stuff. Read it aloud to yourself; work on it and then resubmit.

      E.J. Lewis

Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: pentupemotions (---.195.39.162.ip.alltel.net)
Date: December 08, 2003 05:52PM

  Lady, in Fingertips, I feel you are reassuring a friendship that was offered to you before ,perhaps by the same person. I like the first two stanzas .They seem to have good flow and content .From there I get lost although the expression is there it doesn't seem to go in the same direction. <br />
 Again, I'm not a critic just think you could do much better from other things I've read of yours.<br />
 I enjoyed reading Heartbreaker much more. Not being a young woman I wouldn't have the slightest Idea of your reflections there but do Like the subject and body as a whole.

Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 08, 2003 06:32PM

Thanks for your comments, guys. I've read and appreciate all of them, but am short on time, and a buddy is supposed to be calling me (the subject of both of these poems, by the way), and I WILL get back to y'all later tonight/early tomorrow morning.

Thanks!

Lady of the Night

P.S. Jean-Paul: JG's? What, He doesn't deserve all seven letters of his name? Lol

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Chesil (---.clvdoh.adelphia.)
Date: December 08, 2003 06:56PM

E.J. ever consider they might be one and the same? A copyright claim for Lady of the Night would not be very successful.

Lady, There is a lot to like in Fingertips. I think it would be worth spending a little time on revision.

I didn't really sense any meter or rhyme, other than a couple of off-rhymes. It is free verse and no worse for that. It isn't prose poetry.

Just to demonstrate that a poem designed by committee is a camel, I'll make a few suggestions. I disagree with Brucefur and consider the absence of 'your' is much cleaner in the third line. In the fourth, captivating grin borders on cliche and you could either drop captivating or find a substitute. Personally, I would drop captivating as it is implied.

I couldn't disagree more with E.J. on 'wear warm wool'. I don't consider it clashes with the alliteration on the previous line and it really works well here.

Again, in the interests of sharpening, I'd recommend dropping 'because' and making it clearer about what the cold will do to cotton socks by recasting the lines as"

the snow is aggressively cold
nips at toes, bites,
chews wet cotton socks.

I don't love aggressively, but that is very minor.

There are one or two word duplications and you might consider substitutes for these, but I don't think they are too distracting.

For me, the poem needs just a little tightening. Use modifiers when they contribute and look at fill words like 'and', 'that' and consider whether you really need them.

I pioneered down frozen driveways, in search
of the listening ear;

These were my favorite lines.

The winter wonderland appears ironic to me, and I'd keep it but might use quote marks around the phrase.



Heartbreaker I liked less. "friendlier flirtatiousness" vexes the tongue. The alliteration here stumbles and contrasts with the way you used "wear warm wool" in the previous poem.

One of the hardest things to do in writing poetry is to make each word earn its place. I believe that if you went back and revised with that in mind, you could have one outstanding poem and one fairly good poem.

It's also far easier to critique other people's work smiling smiley

Hope this doesn't offend, Lady. That wasn't the intention.

Chesil


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Jean-Paul (205.233.28.---)
Date: December 08, 2003 07:37PM

LON

Yank on a sore muscle and it gets worse.
You need to stretch it slowly.
Of course he deserves the respect; however, I had a hunch that I would turn people off and I wanted to keep the door open.


Jean-Paul

PS- Jah is only three letters smiling smiley

"I "Love Summer more than I hate Winter"


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 08, 2003 08:03PM

(Jehovah is seven winking smiley )

Again, I'm only here for a moment. I thank all of you for your time and comments, and I'll respond tonight/tomorrow morning, whenever I get home from a buddy's buddy's house.

By the way, I didn't intend to rhyme or use metre or ANYTHING. Any alliteration was accidental (lol, no pun intended... ya know... alliteration... accidental..... aha................). I don't believe in rules for poetry, but I can't exactly define poetry. I think there's some past posts that I've written as regards to that.....

Anywho, goodnight to all, and to all, a good night (is that a holiday phrase?)

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Pam Adams (134.71.192.---)
Date: December 08, 2003 08:45PM

I'm with Chesil on 'wear warm wool,' it flows off the tongue quite easily. I also love the 'snow of butterflies' in Heartbreaker.

Perhaps 'Ashton eyes' will enter the vocabulary along with 'Bette Davis eyes.' If so, we'll give you the credit.

pam


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 09, 2003 12:38AM

Okay! Here I am, as promised smiling smiley Oh, if anyone mentioned the same thing as another person, I'll simply address my response to the first one who did; it's nothing personal winking smiley

Mon petit chou,

Ashton eyes... lol, yeah, I know. I also wrote a different version of Heartbreaker, and I'm definitely not done with it. I do want to write a poem about ... ach, what can I call him? I need a secret name, one no one will know... oh fine, 'Ashton' is what he shall be called. Anywho, 'Ashton' IS indeed a heartbreaker, but it's a terrible thing to be for the one who has a heart sad smiley Being that he and I both have hearts, but we tend to be heartbreakers, which is a great burden to bear. Or something like that. Basically...... yeah. I'm working on that one, don't worry.

As per Fingertips, let's see what ya wrote. Hmm... I think that adding "your" to the line "bag over shoulder" makes it too real-to-life, thus less poetic. I can't explain why, exactly, but it's a style that I use often. I can't put a comma after chewing, because the snow is chewing with wet cotton socks. If I put a comma after chewing, it'll cut the socks off. I'm leaving the contraction, because I can't stand it when a person says "I will miss you." It sounds unnatural when the "will" isn't stressed, which in this case, it isn't. Which line is awkward? The Jesus one or the hearts one? How does "to the last shred of faith that I truly exist" need to be worked on? I want the cliche; I'm not sure exactly why, but I do. Winter wonderlands are dreamy... silent... beautiful... Do you care to re-write it using your suggestions, the way you would like to see it written?

Mr. Goodman (does that annoy you?),

How much more? And kudos for your perception winking smiley

Debutant,

My goodness, I like it. "Ashton" uses the word "distractions" a lot himself, in reference to what I'm talking about, so it's perfect. Thank you.

EJ,

Darling, I am the author. Me. Copyrighted to Megan A. Clemmer. That's why my name's on the copyright winking smiley Umm... my comments on those dates. It would be a real pain in the @$$ to look for them because they're so old; I'd have to sift back through hundreds of posts on the search tool. Would you be so kind as to tell me the name of the thread? I'm not sure I ever had a problem with a person submitting a bunch of poems under one thread -- only a person submitting a bunch of threads of their own poems, because it pushes the rest to the bottom. Speaking of which, I'm pushing my limit, so this'll be my last until others disappear.

I don't know what cacaphony is. All alliteration was accidental; it's not something I normally think of. Yes, once in awhile, but not usually. I didn't notice all the w's... I did notice that I used "snow" twice in one poem, which would normally irk me, but I can't see as there's another word for it. Snow is snow. "Winter Wonderland" isn't an Xmas song, to my knowledge. I meant to use "wet socks" twice, because I'm trying to illustrate the fact that I'm a lot like this guy, and I want him to realize that, and remember me because of it, so that when he goes about his daily life, he'll think of me. The person isn't chewing the socks.... the snow is chewing WITH the wet, cotton socks. "...the snow is aggressively cold, nipping, biting, chewing with wet, cotton socks." The snow and/or cold (as you may read it) is chewing with the socks. Wool socks don't absorb water like cotton ones do, and when you're outside in 4 feet of snow, you're gonna get some in your boots. When you do, yer favorite squishy cotton socks are gonna get soaked, and will then proceed to freeze your feet. Wool doesn't. Nylons are the same way -- too easily saturated. Warm, yes, but they get soaked, and then freeze. ALL: I am not taking out the "aggressive" cold. The cold of snow IS aggressive! It's not just sitting there, it's out to get you! Hence the nipping, biting and chewing. Ever seen a passive dog attack someone? I mean yeah, they do, but not while being sleepy. They go from sleepy to aggressive, and so does the snow. Again, with the driveways, I'm trying to illustrate similarities between he and I. I didn't intend to use rhyme, and while I did want rhythm, I wasn't sticking to any rules (i.e. iambic pentameter, etc.). I don't write according to the rules, because I don't believe poetry should be restrained. It is somewhat off-the-top-of-my-head, but it's not like I just spilled it all out. I spent about 30 minutes on it, tops.

Was there anything you DID like????????

Okay, umm... I'm gonna stop here for now, and I'll probably be back tonight to continue on if I'm not smart enough to go to bed.

Take care.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: December 09, 2003 03:47AM

Lady,

Winter Wonderland is a song, but it is from before you were born; hence the cliché.

EJ,

There is absolutely no book on poetry that I have ever read that limits the use of Alliteration, or Assounance within a work. That is up to the author to decide.

Nutmeg, my suggestions are just those; suggestions. Take them, or leave them as you see fit. I have no intentions of throwing stones. Kiss on cheek.

Love ya,


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Debutant (---.range217-43.btcentralplus.com)
Date: December 09, 2003 06:29AM

Lady,

I loved your first one and find no fault at all to quibble with and am glad that you left it at that. Since you decided to take my suggestions I now really like the second poem (not just because you took my suggestions) as it does not appear to stutter at that stanza.
Just to let you know that you have at least one satisfied appreciative reader.

Debutant



Post Edited (12-09-03 07:27)


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: twotenranch (---.75.23.240.Dial1.Phoenix1.Level3.net)
Date: December 09, 2003 09:56AM

Dama de la Noche,, I thought it was your name and Meg was an alias in case the cops or bill collectors came.

Terry


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 09, 2003 10:29PM

Bruce,

But I wanna see your re-write... sad smiley Pwease?

Debutant,

I'm glad you're satisfied smiling smiley I'm not quite satisfied yet... I haven't shown this to 'Ashton' yet, a) because it's not perfect, and b) it's not the right time. I'm becoming more and more private...... this part of becoming a woman? Ugh, I hate women.... girls are SO much more attractive (coming from a VERY straight p.o.v.!)

Terry,

Something like that... lol.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Jean-Paul Bonhomme (---.nt.net)
Date: December 10, 2003 02:31AM

If you are referring to me, nothing you wrote so far annoyed me. I actually find your demeaner very witty. An intelligent change from the boneheads I am used to conversing with at work. Even amusing at times


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Debutant (---.range217-43.btcentralplus.com)
Date: December 10, 2003 10:08AM

Lady of the Night,

That is part of becomiing wiser, becoming more private as you soon realised the complexities of the world around you, and you yourself and that what you think most of time relflects your moods and comprehension at that time and that it is not absolute but relative and no matter whatever view you hold at that time, it is within the spectrum of what is good and bad and is not just good or bad, right or wrong.
That you begin to understand, that the person who understands you best is yourself and your are capable of finding the right answer to any question so long as you put in in front of you by talking about it or putting it down on paper.
Girls are pretty but women are wonderful. The wonder comes from within them as they progressively grow. Men like women; boys like girls; and of course we include all other rich variations from the straight and narrow.
Timing is the most important element in letting him read your poem. When he is in a romantic upbeat mood.
Just one of my blabberings.

Debutant



Post Edited (12-10-03 14:02)


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 10, 2003 04:45PM

Debutant,

Yeah but see.... lol, he's not a romantic person, and I'm not sure ever will be the right time. See, I don't have a crush on him, and I need to prove to him first that it's extremely unlikely that I ever will. So.... yeah. Timing IS everything, and it's got to be perfect.

But aren't women boring? Ya know... old, stuffy... 28...

Monsieur Bonhomme,

I don't remember referring to you? You're not "Ashton" anyway. Is that what you meant?

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Debutant (---.range217-43.btcentralplus.com)
Date: December 10, 2003 05:25PM

Lady of the night,

Old, I tell you what the definition of old is: when I was 5, I though 10 was too old (to join us in our games) and when I was 10, I thought girls of 18 over was trying to hid their wrinkles in their lip and face with lipsticks and make up (funnily enough my mother what ever her age is, never seemed old, just mum; the concept of age doesn't apply.to her). When I reached 18, 30 sounds to me like Mrs Robinson on a rampage. But when I reached 30, 20 year olds seem pretty naive. Now that I am over 40 (yes over 40, I can hear alot of gasp...), I think life really just began after 25. Old, young is just perception, perception, perception.
Boring?. Err ,..no ..not it bed for a start and its not what you know that maketh you but what you have experienced and you can only talk about what you have experience with conviction all else is opinion, inference and conjecture.
Lady you are an exception in that spiritually and intellectuall you are much more mature than your age...:-)

Debutant


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 10, 2003 11:28PM

Good God Almighty, you're over 40?????? I thought you were.... not much older than me, if any. Wow. Lol. I appreciate that you realize I'm mature for my age smiling smiley I think it's a good thing, as I see what the norm is in most 18-yr-olds. I'm just glad I'm not like that!

I promise I will respond to the rest of you about this, but I'm trying to avoid the subject as it kinda makes me a bit uncomfortable sad smiley I'd rather just let things be...... BUT, I do want to fix this poem, so I'll be coming back to look it over and read comments each time there's something new. I appreciate all of y'alls time and effort. Thank you!

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: December 11, 2003 01:12AM

Just so I get my vote in: This being Friv., and not a poem thread. I think Lady does not seem any more mature than the average 20 year old.

Genevieve Vincent did seem mature for her age, however. It can happen.


Les


Re: Fingertips, Heartbreaker
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 11, 2003 08:19AM

Les... I'm hurt. I don't think that casual discussion is an accurate measure of maturity, and it disappoints me that you would think so. I was discussing the nature of why I'm not working on fixing the poem at the moment -- I think it was completely relevant, and by no means a measure of my maturity (besides the fact that I'm 18, not 20). Good day.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.




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