When I'm with you,
I am like a schoolgirl, gazing in awe
at this shaggy-haired, unshaven,
adorably lost god of a man,

and I can't speak.

To picture a picnic complete with
cold chicken, iced tea, and your eyes,
doesn't fit right; it's not "us."

But I want to touch your hair
when you're sad;
I want to kiss your mouth
to shut you up;
I want to fall in your arms,
safe and sound,
as I break down.

After the movies, I went to confession.
I told you the things
I want, the things I'm afraid of,
the things that will never be.

You denied them.

But I know better!
I know that you used to wonder,
as I do, to yearn for,
as I do, to desire,
as I do.

The lust in your eyes,
and the heat of your breath,
as we begin our dance among the stars,
hold your breath and don't look back.

But don't take the jump,
because I won't be there to catch you.

I can't be.


Copyright

November 18, 2003

ooo. very good. i really need to sit down and write out the emotions i'm going through with a break-up. this was really good, though. had a sting to it.

as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he

Hey hey, it's the great brandoni! Haven't seen you for awhile. I'm glad you ilked this. I think it's the beginning of a few different poems about the same kind of issue, only from different aspects. The whole thing is very complicated! Thanks, buddy.

Lady of the Night

You portrayed the complexities of a realationship very well, the hesistancy and ambivalance tells us this is crucial a stage in a relationship that cannot proceed any further. One denies his feelings the other unwilling to commit herself yet because she thinks he isn't really ready to make the commitment because of his denial and she doesn't want him untill he opens to her and admit those feelings he had. She needed to be sure.
As for him hmm.."Why the hell is he hesistating?"...I need a shrink..
This is what I read into it. I hope I got it right or else I'll been skin alived here or if I am to be cannabalised I choose the communal pot of humanity



Post Edited (11-19-03 05:40)

You are actually so hot it's not even funny. Only thing is that there's something else added on to the fact that "she" is unwilling to take it farther. Besides what you already perceived, it's not allowed, because she wants something from her lover(s) that he can't give her, although that something isn't relevant to the poem.

The communal pot... clever

Lady of the Night

I thought that perhaps he is already married or engaged, but dismissed it. He wears a dog's collar (your confession to him)?



Post Edited (11-19-03 09:32)

Nutmeg,

I have a reply to this one already written. It is back where I am staying though; the internet crashed when I tried to post it.

Be patient. It is coming soon.

Well, I guess I wasn't very subtle anyway; after all, anybocy who knows you would know that I meant Tommy anyway

But dear, life ISN'T complicated. It is really very simple, if you don't wrestle with it all of the time.


The good fight!

When I was young,
I was as burdened as Atlas
struggling to hold the weight of my thoughts.

I juggled that errant, obstinate globe;
trying to shape it into my own image,
but now that I am wiser,
I no longer put my back into it,
digging in my heels in an attempt to halt
the inevitable progress of the world.

Now that I roll with it, it no longer rolls me over!

~sucky improv. for Nutmeg~ :p

Lady, I enjoyed the poem, very well-conceived. Although, I think he should jump anyway.

Nice!

pam

Bob,

But don't take the jump,
because I won't be there to catch you.

I can't be.

a) he is engaged
b) she is engaged (Yes, you ARE SO!)
c) there are religious differences on an Irish scale lol.
d) Dey bin dere dun dat already and it didn't work then either.

Nutmeg,

Your poem already has your answers; just follow your own words.

Love ya,

But are the poet and the narrator the same person?

pam

sigh it still gets to me. thank you for the read. ooo and thank you for the welcome back.

as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he

This is indeed a very complicated relationship. You see, we're best friends ... now, I swear I posted this already..... hmm, no matter. Anyways, we're best friends, but I want to be closer to him in ways that I can't define. Because I can't define it, I try to peghole it where it would most likely fit, but again, it doesn't. The picnic is absurd, but I want to kiss him casually. I see kisses as a way to express that you love and care for someone deeply, a way of being closer, but I don't want to be with him romantically. I imagine him as the groom to my bride, but can't for the life of me imagine the wedding night! Does this make any sense to anyone? And has anyone else ever been in this predicament???

I also scared him and he feels vulnerable Oops...

Lady of the Night

Oi, I apologize if that was repetitive at all. I clicked "stay offline" cause I thought it was a popup trying to get through. Let's read these comments, and I'll write back!

Lady of the Night

TOMMY?! Okay, that is NOT what I thought you were saying! And no, it's not a Tommy poem. It's a Jeremy poem And I don't try to wrestle with life -- it's trying to wrestle with me! And trying to roll in too many directions, so that when I choose one, I end up 'fighting' against the other!

Okay, let's try to explain this.

Nobody's engaged (no, Bruce, not even me!!). Bruce was closest when he mentioned the religion thing, but that's not even the half of it. Well, maybe half.

The narrator and the poet are the same person, indeed. I can't write from another person's point of view very well. The subject is my best friend, Jeremy. Jeremy doesn't have a girlfriend; she just recently broke up with him, shattering his world, so he's feeling vulnerable because of that. Then, I threw a bunch of crap at him about how I was confused about my feelings for him, and I scared him even more. I'm really scared that I ruined everything.... and I just hope he calls me. He told me not to call him, that he'd call me. He's never said that before...

Lady of the Night

"But don't take the jump,
because I won't be there to catch you.

I can't be."

I can't fall in love with him, and even if I did, we wouldn't be allowed to be together, on two counts. Each count is a puzzle piece that we hold, that would finish the puzzle. One, is our mutual friend (his best, my ex) Tommy. Dum dum dum!!! The other, is religion. I want/need someone of my own religion, and we don't share that. PLEASE don't anyone jump up my butt about that!!!! Please?? I'm so tired of defending it

Illudiumphos... what's the rest of your name? I'll go with Bob, since I think you're the "Bob" Bruce was referring to. I'm asking him not to jump, because that's the one case that I can't be there for him. I am there in EVERYTHING else, but that... this is also a reason why I feel it's taboo to touch his hair, or brush something off of his shirt, or take his hat away. These are things that I normally do with single guys, but it's to WIN THEIR AFFECTION, only it usually ends up winning more affection than I asked/bargained for. It gets their attention, they focus on me, see me in a different light, stop-drop-kaboom, they're in love with me. And if Jeremy were ever to fall, I couldn't be there to catch him. Not ever... and that could really damage our relationship, or at least I'm afraid it could.

Lady of the Night

Just out of curiousity, how does Jeremy feel about this thread?

pam

I've read him the poem, but he doesn't know it's online. He doesn't pay any attention to eMule, no matter how many times I've asked him to come to it, so I just figure he doesn't care much about what I say on it (within reason). But, I haven't said anything so revealing that he would be bothered. Why?

Lady of the Night