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California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: November 07, 2003 12:58AM

Everything's different, here
in California.
They do it all
backwards: spoiler on
the hood, check-out in
the back, and
sex in the ass.

Everything's bigger, here
in California --
except for the
penises, 'cause most men
are Asian -- but it's okay 'cause
I'm entranced by the
extensive expanse of
awe-inspiring western skies.

Everything fits, here
in California.
If you're not a hobo,
homo, "self-expressionist,"
or San Franciscan
sidewalk artist, then
at least you're a
straight guy living in
the suburbs, sippin' on the
Starbucks you bought with
your "real job."

I don't have a job (but
I'm not an artist), I don't
have a penis, and I sure
as hell don't take it in the ass,
but my heart is here,
in California.



Copyrighted

November 4th and 6th, 2003



Post Edited (11-07-03 00:30)

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Percival (---.humboldt1.com)
Date: November 07, 2003 05:42AM

Hahahha

Yah. Love this place.


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Gwydion (209.53.139.---)
Date: November 07, 2003 11:35AM



bravo! the facts of life are potentially offensive and you described them well!


It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: November 07, 2003 03:21PM

Lol, thanks guys. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for not taking it too seriously! I agree, Gwydion.

Lady of the Night


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: thegreatbrandoni (---.we.client2.attbi.com)
Date: November 07, 2003 07:09PM

hehehe quite enjoyable. i enjoyed the freedom you gave yourself on this one lady. it definitely works!

Brandon


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Pam Adams (134.71.192.---)
Date: November 07, 2003 08:02PM

Gee, most people notice the beaches or the smog first..............


Enjoyed! (although the Asian men may object)

pam


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: November 07, 2003 11:24PM

Thanks grinning smiley

Lol, I actually only went to the beach once in 4 and a half months. How sad is that? Well, went to Pier 39, but that doesn't quite count. Smog.. I didn't know what it was until my uncle told me that's why I was having a hard time breathing and I was so exhausted. As far as Asian men go.. I read that statistically, as their nationalities, they have the smallest penises. I don't know if that means Chinese men specifically, or Filipino, or Japanese, or Iraqi, I just read it somewhere. The site (a pretty reliable one, or else they're really good at faking it) gave a scale of general "sizes," and their nationalities. Asian men tend to be smallest, while African and Swedish men tend to be the largest.

Sorry if that was too much info for anyone!

Also, I mean NO offense to Asian men -- honest. My boyfriend's Filipino and I love him to pieces smiling smiley So if any take offense, please understand I'm only teasing.

Lady of the Night


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: dreambabe (---.cpe.net.cable.roger)
Date: November 08, 2003 01:06AM

this was a fun read, i like the conversational tone in this piece.


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: November 08, 2003 12:10PM

I'm glad that people are enjoying this piece and not taking it too seriously. Thanks, everyone smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Brucefur (---.vc.shawcable.net)
Date: November 09, 2003 05:08AM

Love him to penises? yawning smiley

Well I have obviously been away too long. tsk tsk Lady.

Such language from such an innocent little thing.

Here is another statistic for you though (in favour of those same Asian men); a woman's G-spot is approximately 3-4" inside her vagina and therefore normally this means that the larger the man is (sorry all you Swedes, and um.... er... Percival lol) the LESS likely they are to bring a woman to orgasm.

So the fact that your boi is Asian... well then, it looks like you are in luck. winking smiley

When it comes to sex, you should try and be open minded; otherwise your greatest pleasure may never get realised. Experiment and determine what works for you, what doesn't and just as importantly, what works for your partner. The bottom line is sexual compatibility is about as important to a long term healthy relationship as are other mutual interests. If there is enough common ground in the turn on department, then you will have a healthy sex life, but if not, you are going to spend possibly your whole life frustrated and unfulfilled. (More so with women then men I think, but I know that for me the missionary position is pretty monotonous... i.e. NOT much of a thrill. Don't paint yourself into a corner sexually. Find your own path.

Sincerely,
Brucefur
PS: As western states/provinces go, I would say that terrain wise California is one of the most boring. I would by far recommend Oregon, Washington and definitely BC over it. Too bad as well that you weren't able to make it to New Mexico (I hear that it is spectacular), or Colorado.



Post Edited (11-09-03 04:12)


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Debutant (---.range81-152.btcentralplus.com)
Date: November 09, 2003 05:59AM

Bravo! A poem in line with our times, as explicit as the porn on the net but more actions and passion that they could ever dream of achieving.
That means it is a huge compliment, for those of you who are still under 18.

Debutant


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Nolon (---.gccoushatta.com)
Date: November 10, 2003 02:58AM

Spoilers on the hood ? Wait someone had to speak about this....I mean spoilers are already nonsense,but on the hood. Do they have them on the hood and on the trunk,or ? Nice poem and Bruce that fact is correct. It is nice to read a poem by you once again....Even if this was a drastic change from what i remember. At least some were sorta like this before. However i seen Cali and if i wasn't mistaken i think i remember you moved there. So how is life there,or something. Email me between_angels_insects@hotmail.com. I mean im sure no one wants to see a new friv open. smiling smiley) I went to Wisconsin,or how i like to say it "The Consin" At least i was there like 4 days it was nice,cold and i got to be with my love. Her family is great to. Sex is good,but never forget who you love and not whats between,or at least i see it that way. I assume im pleasuring Meggie for she says so. I can only hope. Anyways this is the last im gonna read. Therefore i don't throw all the new poems down below. Have a good day.


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: November 10, 2003 04:53PM

Bruce,

I've been waiting for your post. I was expecting something like "Nutmeg! What is this language??" But noooo, lol. Instead, I get a sex ed lesson grinning smiley Thanks, buddy. Actually, I did know that a girl doesn't have any nerves much deeper than 3 or 4 inches, so I figure the whole size issue has something to do with aesthetic pleasure, rather than physical. Like the thought of a big 'un... but that's not my taste ANYWAY. I have my preferences that I'm sure no one else wants to hear about, lol. So Bruce, what did you think of the POEM?

Debutant,

I'm glad you liked it, and I'm really really glad everyone's appreciating the rawness of it and not putting it down. Thanks!

Noloco,

Hey you! Been awhile grinning smiley I'm glad you got to see Meg. Too weird that she and I have the same name, coupled with the fact that you strikingly remind me of my ex-boyfriend, except he was much darker in the hair and skin, thanks to some Cherokee blood. It's in the eyes and nose area, as well as expression in one of the pictures I saw. I don't live in California anymore sad smiley In fact, I wrote this poem while sitting in Oakland Int'l Airport waiting for my 2 HOUR late flight to Atlanta, where Dad would pick me up and we'd drive to Tenn. But I was in California for about 4 and a half months. As far as the spoiler on the hood, I didn't actually see it. We were going down the street, and Angelito's sister goes "That car had a spoiler on the front!" Didn't say anything about the back, though. Spoilers are SEXY if they're done right! Don't dis 'em grinning smiley Umm... oh, and the check-out isn't technically in the back. It's in the side of Target at one of the malls, instead of the front, where it would go into the rest of the mall. But that may be the back of the store anyway, I'm not sure.

I'm so happy you guys like this! Exciting! grinning smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: J.H.SUMMERS (---.chartertn.net)
Date: November 10, 2003 07:42PM

Lady of the Night,

Maybe it wasn't a spoiler...a bug shield perhaps.

jhs


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Nolon (---.vp.centurytel.net)
Date: November 10, 2003 08:19PM

Still with Angelito ? Oh yes you forgot the lips lmfao the lips that im not understanding,but i been told about them.


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: November 10, 2003 10:47PM

Oh yeah!! The lips! That's what I was forgetting! My God it's freaky; I can't believe I forgot that.

A bug shield doesn't look anything like a spoiler, does it..? And to be perfectly honest, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if some guy was tryin to build a rice rocket and stuck a spoiler on the hood. At least, it wouldn't surprise me in California.

Lady of the Night


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Brucefur (---.vc.shawcable.net)
Date: November 12, 2003 06:49AM

Nutmeg,

Um... :$

Size is evolution I think longer means less distance to swim grinning smiley therefore beating out the competion... otherwise, just NOT going there. tongue sticking out smiley

Poem? there was a poem? lol. Just kidding there Kyddo. hmm.. jas here...

Well it is most certainly avant garde, and it isn't Intellectual intercourse by any means, but there is a pizzaz (sp?) to it none the less.

I would however suggest deleting the following words though; 'cause most men
are Asian -- because I feel that they sideline your message. To those that don't know you, I feel that the risk of misinterpretation is just too great, and that this would reduce your readership. Further more, I think that the stanza works just fine without it; therefore it is strictly inflamatory and unnecessary filler.

Last stanza, L5, I would suggest a semi-colon at the end of it, rather than a comma.

Kiss on cheek,
yer cabbage,


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Re: California (WARNING: Potentially Offensive Language)
Posted by: Pam Adams (134.71.192.---)
Date: November 14, 2003 07:46PM

Of course then all the San Franciscan sidewalk artists will get insulted.

pam


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