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Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: May 28, 2003 04:52PM

I thought of you this weekend
when I was inspired to
snap a photo of the
Starbucks sign, and yet another
of the New England Dodge
advertisement hiding over
in the shadowed corner.

I don't even like Dodge.

I think of you as I read
my romance novel about
the guy with the two kids
that falls in love with the
woman next door.

I swear, you're just like him --
but I could be wrong,

because I think of you
all day, trying to figure out
your puzzles and looking
forward to the next intrigue
that I'm certain
will come when you email me.

I think of you when I look
at the amount of used
space in my inbox,
and I smile when I realize
it's because all of
your replies contain the
letter I just wrote you.

I think of you when I
hear terrible things
on the news, and I
picture your reaction
to the latest sickening truth.

I think of you
in hopes that one day I really
can inspire you, and that maybe
you'll smile one day soon.

I hope you blush when
I give you cyber kisses,
and I hope you smile
when I tell you now
that I think you're one of the
coolest guys I've ever been privileged
to know.


Lady of the Night



Post Edited (06-13-03 10:17)

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: dreambabe (---.tdbank.ca)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:00PM

nicely written, sweet!


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:00PM

Thanks smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: dreambabe (---.tdbank.ca)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:07PM

oops....forgot to say, you don't have a title for this. not good, give it a title.
eg. "you and I" or for you"


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Jay M (---.yorkton.com)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:09PM

It doesn't need a title. Plenty of poems are "untitled". Pablo Neruda tends to use his first line as his title.

Jay


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:10PM

It bugs me when ppl use the first line as the title to their poetry. Gotta nix that one, Jay. Most of my work does have titles, though not all of it. I'll give it one when one comes to mind. This is definitely not a final draft.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Jay M (---.yorkton.com)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:14PM

I wasn't suggesting you do that, Meg...I was simply illustrating that a title is not always important. Whether it is "untitled" or whether you use the first line, what matters is the meat between the buns!

Not a final draft? Do you think you will change it, or add to it?

Jay


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:17PM

Gotta have the meat. And no, it's definitely not a final draft. I'm going to change it some, and add to it. There's a lot I want to put in there, and I want it to be perfect.

Megan


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Talia (---.plymouth.in.hypervine.net)
Date: May 28, 2003 05:34PM

For Jay M,

Writing a poem and not giving it a title is like having a child and not giving it a name. Or it is laziness.


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Ian Beaumont (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: May 28, 2003 06:35PM

Hey Megan,

It is so nice to see you around. I haven't seen much of you here or at Cosmic. I am not going to critique the poem, for I am not convinced my critiques and thoughts are worth much right now. But you don't need me to say again that I think your poetry is brilliant. I see you in the premier league of poets, compared to my own works, which are way down the lower divisions.

Still, it is nice to see you around. smiling smiley

Ian B


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Jack (---.southg01.mi.comcast.net)
Date: May 28, 2003 07:14PM

Talia-

On the subject of having a child and not giving it a name.
How do you think Clint Eastwoods' character made it to all of those spaghetti westerns?
It wouldn't be nearly as mysterious if the dialouge went like this:


Dirty Italian (playing a dirty Mexican)
'Hey stranger, new in town?'
squinting Clint
'Yep'
Italian/Mexican
'Don't believe I caught the name'
Clint squints and spits
'Bob. They call me... Bob.'


No. That guys' parents were right to not give him a name.


Jack. They call me... Jack


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Pam Adams (---)
Date: May 28, 2003 09:09PM

I really liked this- except for the last few lines.

"when I tell you now
that I think you're one of the
coolest guys I've ever been privileged
to know."

sounds like a high school yearbook.

pam


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.194.---)
Date: May 29, 2003 12:37AM

Talia,

You may be right... I may be crazy... anyways, you're right, in a way, I suppose. I just don't have the right title for this yet. I don't want to call it "For _______" (he knows who he is); that's overused (especially by myself). One day, I may wander across a title for it, and when that happens, I most certainly will give it that name. But I find that if a person forces a title onto a poem, it never does the work justice, and often takes away from it.

Ian!

I fell out of a poetic mind, and am just crawling back. Jay'd asked me for days (weeks?) to critique his work, and I just couldn't get to it. Same with yours. I did read yours, I promise, just haven't given it/them a crit yet. But I will. The premier league? Is that a good league? Darling, I fear you hold my work too high...

Jack?

Lol, you're nuts. What character is that?

Pam,

I see what you mean... do you think I should just take out the last stanza and leave it the way it is, or change the last stanza to something else?

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: dreambabe (---.cpe.net.cable.roger)
Date: May 29, 2003 12:57AM

a poem can be untitled as long as it suits the poem itself, this poem doesn't fall into that category. the reason why its untitled is perhaps because the author hasn't come up with a suitable one.

there are plenty of poems that are untitled, but if a poem is untitled, how can one refer to it?


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Jack (---.eapplied.com)
Date: May 29, 2003 05:13AM

Meg-

He is the famous 'Man with No Name' (honest)


Jack


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: silent siren (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date: May 29, 2003 05:21AM

seen this one and might know, but am unsure...

greetings from the Lyrics
si


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: J.H. SUMMERS (---.chartertn.net)
Date: May 29, 2003 07:36AM

Dear Lady,

Nicely done, but I agree with Pam about the ending.

jhs


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Jay M (---.yorkton.com)
Date: May 29, 2003 01:13PM

For Talia,

Several accomplished and published poets would disagree with you.
Among them, Edna St. Vincent Millay:

Untitled

Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892-1950)

Love is not all: It is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain,
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
and rise and sink and rise and sink again.
Love cannot fill the thickened lung with breath
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
pinned down by need and moaning for release
or nagged by want past resolutions power,
I might be driven to sell you love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It may well be. I do not think I would.



A poem belongs to the poet. Should the poet decide that it should not have a title, for whatever reason, it is not for us to dispute that.

Jay


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: dreambabe (---.tdbank.ca)
Date: May 29, 2003 02:05PM

is laziness a good reason for untitled poems?


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Talia (---.plymouth.in.hypervine.net)
Date: May 29, 2003 05:22PM

As dreambabe said, if a poem does not have a title how can one refer to it? That is the reason many poets refer to the first line......simply to REFER TO THEM. I am aware of the many poems that are "untitled". I think this is something that was once done and then copied by a million other people, not for any reason, just because they thought they should.....like capitalize every first letter of every line. Every poem does not need to have some kind of impressive name, in fact, if you have to think about it too long, then your probably maing too much of it, but you have to call it SOMETHING eventually.


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: May 30, 2003 09:07AM

Laziness is a terrible reason for untitled poems. However, I'm not being lazy; whoever it was (can't remember; I apologize) was correct in that I haven't found a suitable title.

If it's that important, sheesh! I'll try to think of one!! The person I wrote this about knows who he is. I'll ask his opinion.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Gwydion (209.53.139.---)
Date: May 30, 2003 11:57AM

titles ---- how about "inbox" or "computer lover"


It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: May 30, 2003 03:55PM

Ahh! Lol, he's not my lover. Umm.. "inbox" and "computer lover" are both far too impersonal. But thank you for the suggestion smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Jay M (---.yorkton.com)
Date: May 30, 2003 04:02PM

computer lover....that's hilarious!

I dig.

Jay


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: May 30, 2003 04:03PM

Lol, you dig, do you?

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Ian Beaumont (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: May 31, 2003 09:51AM

Megan,

LoL! Love your premier league comment. I look at your work, and I think you are up there with people like Bruce, Syn and Siren.

I thought it was about Angelito, but if it isn't, then who is it about?

Ian B


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.192.---)
Date: May 31, 2003 03:37PM

Up there with Bruce, Syn and Siren?? What, are you kidding me?? Sheesh! Lol. Umm.... well, I'd actually rather not say who it's about. If he wants to speak up, that's perfectly fine. He knows who he is, though smiling smiley

It's hard for me to write about Angelito... so much to say and so few words to say it with. I am working on a new one about him though, mulling it over in my mind.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: lgreen (---.client.attbi.com)
Date: May 31, 2003 04:07PM

Lady: Good poem. I am confused why is such a big issue about the title?
Even if you give it one "Thinking of You" (simple approach--because is the jest of the poem) or untitled....you can always name it later-or change it-or not. Anyway---I enjoyed the read..Ell


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: June 02, 2003 09:07AM

I'm a perfectionist, so the title has to be perfect. When I perfect the rest, perhaps I'll give it a title... perhaps not...

Toodles!
Megan


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Mini Mercinary (63.160.64.---)
Date: June 02, 2003 01:37PM

In some old cultures, not having a name meant that the child had no soul. Was sometimes done to girl when daddy wanted a son. She couldn't marry and have kids of her own without a soul.
On the other hand, some guy rode to the desert on a horse with no name, which reminded me of my first horse. Mac,, an old guy who worked for my dad told me not to name him. "Shouldn't never name something you might have to eat"


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.194.---)
Date: June 02, 2003 09:14PM

Lol, those are some cool bits of information. My dad's desktop used to be that song, and it sang either "rode to the desert on a horse with no name..." or "and the heat was hot and the ground was dry" every time the desktop did something. Anything. It was SO annoying. Interesting theory that old man had.. makes sense, I suppose! I always wanted a horse...

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Percival (---.humboldt1.com)
Date: June 02, 2003 10:55PM

lol, "inbox"


Sorry, dirty mind =}


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Belinda Mayo (---.tnt10.hou10.da.uu.net)
Date: June 03, 2003 12:55PM

Throughly enjoyed this one! And the whole deal with the title, no worries. I've had many an untitled poem, and I agree with whoever said that if the title doesn't suit the poem, it takes away from it. Title it as you wish, when you find the right thing to title it with. I feel that protectiveness over my poems, want them to be named justly, because poetry is a depiction of an emotion, not just a bunch of words. Always remember the emotions behind a poem are what count, and sometimes, expressing an emotion with words is difficult. Keep up the good work, you're a poetic genius!

morphine

haha i love the comments guys, ya'll never fail to put a smile on my face.

P.S.- yes, i did in fact say "ya'll". Born and Bred Texan here!


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.193.---)
Date: June 03, 2003 06:26PM

Thanks so much for your thoughts, Ms. Mayo. I agree about the emotions being what is important, but equally important is the presentation of such. This poem is in no way done, nor do I see it as an example of poetic genius! My other work though..................

j/k grinning smiley

Thanks again,
Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bc.hsia.telus.net)
Date: June 06, 2003 03:47PM

Megan,

I am too dang rushed at the moment to do this thread justice, but I have thought much of you over the last month.

For the record, I agree with you 100% as per the title. No need to rush it. Some of mine stay untitled for years before the right one comes to mind, or I give them "working titles" that are meant to be changed. i.e. Respite was originally written under the heading Shades of Jay, so that I had a reference to the piece in my own mind, but there was never any intention to leave it as such.

I certainly prefer Untitled to; "This is something that I wrote while viewing scantily clad women on the beach, and couldn't think of a title so I decided to say something completely irrelevant instead."

Yeah! Nuff said. Thhhhhpt.

Loves,
Brucefur
PS: When are you going to come visit Cosmic yawning smiley( There is stuff in Erotica that I would like you to comment on there. Now that you are old enough. hahaha


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Percival (---.client.mchsi.com)
Date: June 07, 2003 07:15AM

That's a pretty damn sweet poem and makes me wish I had a girlfriend, hell even a wife and I'm only 17! But so what have you been up to Lady? God I was living with these freakin trannys in alaska, it was the worst thing ever. But me and this Samoan guy were hanging out drinking day after day, we had some good times hunting and what not. Anyway, great poem. Makes me a little less heartless, thank you.


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bc.hsia.telus.net)
Date: June 08, 2003 04:13PM

Laughin' at the thought of Jaguar rooming with the trannys

BIG SMILE You go boi!


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.193.---)
Date: June 08, 2003 09:00PM

Lol, Bruce. You're a doll. I haven't been to Cosmic in awhile cuz I haven't been in a "Cosmic" mood. It's a certain kind of mood where I'm just... I dunno, lol. Mature "read in Starbucks with brainiac genius black framed glasses" kinda thing, ya know? Because it's so mature and advanced and such. Real poetry.

What've I been up to? Mackin'! Lol, j/k. Went to Acadia National Park early Saturday morning to see the sunrise. F.Y.I., that's the very first point in the United States that the sun touches every morning.

Glad y'all liked it.

Lady of the Night

P.S. Angelito just blew in my mouth!! Yuk!


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bc.hsia.telus.net)
Date: June 08, 2003 09:28PM

Now I am curious, having read back, but I would guess on Jay if I had to venture one. You two have become quite close, and it is obvious to me at least, how much you have thrived by the intelligent tete et tete between the two of you.

Angelito just blew in your mouth? Is he back in Maine for your graduation?
You did graduate, right dear? winking smiley

By the way, I have read this prose over three times now, LOOKING for something to critique. Can't find anything.

Sniff my lil' baby is all grown up.

In the words of the Grand dame of posting, and still the reigning champion I am sure. Damn Skippy Lady!

As far as Cosmic being advanced. Try reading the general section, or even some in intermediate. sigh
Still, there is some definite star calibre there, but it seems to be going through a slow period right now.
I am in part to blame due to work (should be getting back to it in fact, but am still revelling in my relaxation), but I don't believe that is all of it. I think that membership has slowed down because of less advertising, AND because as Les pointed out, we need to make it a domain name.

Anyway, I think that all is good.
Thinking of you muchly.
Love you Nutmeg,


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.192.---)
Date: June 09, 2003 09:29AM

Yes, I graduated!!!!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!! does a lil' dance grinning smileygrinning smileygrinning smiley It was great. And yup, Angelito's up here for the weekend, but we're leaving to take him to the train station in a little under 3 hours. I wish we could pick him up earlier so we could spend some time before he had to go... I can't even call him; there's no phone in that hotel room for some reason. I'm SUPPOSED to be going out there with my dad by Greyhound around the middle to end of this week, but there's a ton of stuff that has to be cleaned and done around the trailer before we can go... sigh I really, REALLY want to get out there.

I'm currently working on a new poem in my mind about the relationship between the ocean and the sand. I really think it's going to come out good when I get it done, and I think you all will like it smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bc.hsia.telus.net)
Date: June 10, 2003 05:52PM

Megan,

Cannot wait to see that new poem, as that sounds like a fantastic concept! Very deep hahahaha tongue sticking out smiley

Also, as per both Angelito making your grad, AND you going to San Francisco with your dad; I think that both are great. You are young; stretch your legs around the world.

BTW, I met a woman who does professional photography, and I asked her how she got into the business. She said it was easy; she slept with the owner... sad smiley

So happy to hear that your grad went well.

Bon voyage at weeks end, Nutmeg dear.

I am back to guarding scantily clad women in the sun off of False Creek... er... I mean tents, yes, guarding the tents winking smiley

Here is a mostly direct view, from across the water of where I am currently working
[www.monkmcqueens.com] /> It is a slide show, and most of the ones near the end are the best ones of the Plaza of Nations and coopers park, but none do it justice (must remember to put film in my camera).


Love,
Brucefur <~~~~~ whose 20 year reunion is now only 2 years off. Scaryyyyyy.


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.193.---)
Date: June 10, 2003 06:41PM

Speaking of cameras, I LOST MINE!!!!! I was so upset about it, I cried for at least an hour and a half, two hours. I had pictures of my friends and me on it.. the ones I wanted the most were.. well, lol, all of them, but especially the ones of me and John. Those were the first pics he and I were in, and I lost them... Holly printed out some digital pics she took of us after candlelight (Senior ceremony thing) in our caps and gowns, but none of us kissing cheeks or him picking me up or anything. sniff sad smiley I got pics of us on a new roll, though, but it still isn't the same.

I'm sorry, I don't get the whole 'False Creek' joke, and the tents make it sound like you're in Egypt. In which case, I'd have to warn you that those women are a mirage!! Stay away!! Then I'd wave my hands in the air slowly and repeat "Synnyyyyy" over and over again. grinning smiley

So since I'm not there, you can just pretend! If you really want, I'll make a video on my comp and mail it to you, lol.

I'll check out the slide show when I'm not mentally keeping an eye on burgers and fries. GOD I hate raw meat! It's enough to make me go vegan.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bc.hsia.telus.net)
Date: June 11, 2003 04:40PM

Megs,

False Creek is the name of the inlet that those pictures are all of, and is right smack in the middle of downtown Vancouver.

Does that answer your question?

The Tents are for the Dragon Boat festival, which is the event that I am currently working on, and is certainly not in Egypt, but then again, perhaps I am just in deNile groans

Tough break about your camera kiddo! Hope that you get another one before San Francisco; I hear that it is gorgeous there.

Synnnny, synnnny, hahaha. You are so cute.

Love you,


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.193.---)
Date: June 13, 2003 11:17AM

Yes, yes I am smiling smiley (cute, that is) I do have a new camera, actually. Umm.... a 35mm Polaroid with Power Zoom. Oooooooo. Paid 30 bucks for it -- that's until I can get a decent one when I'm rich and famous. Or else just famous for my fiery tongue and cute, pouty jut-of-the-jaw! Gorgeous in San Francisco... hmm. Well, I hope so! I've seen pictures that my uncle's foster parents took on their vacation there. Compared with their pictures of Alaska, SF is pretty dreary! But really, from the pictures and t.v. that I've seen San Francisco is gorgeous in a cultured way, rather than a natural way. But we shall see.

Stay away from False Creek! Pfffft! tongue sticking out smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bc.hsia.telus.net)
Date: June 13, 2003 12:25PM

Nutmeg,

No way to stay away from False Creek at the moment, and you needn't worry about the rest as it is cold and rainy today sad smiley

Not the best day to be starting a festival celebrating summer, but how were they to know, eh?

Good news there on the camera front winking smiley


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.193.---)
Date: June 13, 2003 11:43PM

Cold and rainy is yuk. Very yuk. The zoom on my camera is wicked noisy, that's the only bad thing. That, and I can just see the battery cap breaking off one of these battery-changes... tsk tsk tsk. Hopefully this summer I'll be able to get a nicer $100 one. Then maybe one day I'll get one of those $1000 sets.. now that would be awesome. I like the smaller ones though, because I can carry them around with me, but the bigger ones with the sets and filters and such are awesome for portraits and landscapes.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Percival (---.client.mchsi.com)
Date: June 13, 2003 11:52PM

Yo Lady, take a look at my lastest, I do believe you owe me a critique!


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.193.---)
Date: June 14, 2003 12:48AM

Lol, that I do, but I'm also 45 minutes late in talking to my boyfriend, and I'm always getting on his case about not keeping his word (punctuality), so I will critique yours as soon as I can. I'm packing this weekend and flying out to Cali this Wednesday (hopefully), but I'll get to it as soon as I can, I promise.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bc.hsia.telus.net)
Date: June 14, 2003 04:11PM

Oh, so now you are flying and not taking the bus? Lucky you. I loathe the bus!

Say hello to Angelito for me.

Love ya!


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Re: Untitled
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.195.---)
Date: June 14, 2003 08:11PM

I will if you read my new poem!

Lady of the Night


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