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I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 31, 2002 12:57AM

You write me so many letters and profess
how much you love me and care for me, and
how much I hurt you by "leaving" you and
"messing" with your mind, but really you
just don't get it. What about all the times you
messed with my mind and I accepted them
and forgave you without an ounce of
resentment, the way you resented me for
hurting you - how dare I! And I should know
and believe that for the sole reason of love
that all can work in the universe, that because
I love you that I can just ignore all the
problems and the fights, bitterness, jealousy
and cold anger and self-hatred.

You hurt me! You hurt me so bad with your
selfish games to make me hate you! Don't
you get it, I could never hate you! No, you
don't get it, because you can't see past
your own problems and emotions, but that's
okay; I forgive you, I accept you, I understand you
the way no one else does. Too bad you can't
do that for all of me as I do you. Too bad you
can't see that you weren't the only one hurt
by the life of this relationship... Too bad you
can't see that I'm a person too, and I cry
just like you do.

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 31, 2002 01:01AM

Here's something that I wrote awhile back that is a bit more structured than "I Cry, Too" and was written with a clear head. I'm posting this for clarification purposes only.


"For Every You There is an I"

Several things separate us: pride, fear,
And your assurance that you are right
I've received letters written in anger
And I could send every letter back
And say the same to you

Another thing that separates us
Perhaps the most dangerous of all
Is a blindness you've taken on through life
It keeps you from seeing others' point of view
And what your words do to them

Yet it only takes one thing to unite us
Let me tell you what it is
A full understanding of the phrase
"There's a method to every madness"
And realize that all we need to do
Is realize that for every "You" there is an "I"



Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Terry Johnson (---.tnt1.alamagordo.nm.da.uu.net)
Date: December 31, 2002 01:06AM

Lady,

2 is clearer. Both are pretty darn'd good.

last line of #2 has oft perplexed me.
How can someone love the likes of Ted Bundy, or Gary Gilmore? But someone did. (does). I don't believe in "soul mates" but I do believe that any good man and any good woman can find happiness if they happen to run across each other. Do need other things in common, it's a good think for my marriage that Carol is willing to live in Tularosa New Mexico, when Denver is her favorite spot on earth.
Good line. Invites a lot of conversation.
Continue.

Terry


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Les (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: December 31, 2002 01:10AM

Sorry, Lady, I liked your poem, which made me think of the one I accidently posted on your site. Relationships spawn crazy reactions sometimes. But generally we get over them in time.

Les


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 31, 2002 01:22AM

Thank you guys for replying/posting. I'd say more but honestly, I don't have the energy tired smile Seriously, your comment is very much appreciated, Terry. Les, thanks for the poem. If you want, I'll critique it on its own thread.

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 31, 2002 11:02AM

I believe in soulmates, but I don't believe that there's only one per person, and I don't believe they're pre-destined by a higher being. Who are Ted Bundy and Gary Gilmore?

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 31, 2002 11:02AM

Oh, and may I ask... what do you think the last line of #2 means?

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Kreisler jun. (---.dip.t-dialin.net)
Date: December 31, 2002 01:57PM

Lady Nutmeg...

alors, je vais écrire en francais sachant que tu comprendras.
Vraiment, je ne sais pas si cette poème a recu les reactions qu'elle meritait. Je me demande si quelque chose n'est pas en bonne ordre, si tu voulais "le" dire comme ca, pour commencer une discussion qui te pourrait aider...où est-ce que ca a déja pris place autrefois, et moi, je suis seulment trop tard?

Dis quelque chose.

silent sirène


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 31, 2002 04:15PM

Hey Siren,

I'm gonna write this in English 'cause I can't fully think French right now tongue sticking out smiley I understood the gist of what you were saying, I think. Umm... basically... You don't know if this poem gets the merit it deserves, and you're asking yourself if things are in good order, and where "something...." "other times" (just a guess with "autrefois"), and you are alone very slow? I can see I'm a little off, so could ya help? smiling smiley Lol

Lady Nutmeg


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.194.---)
Date: January 02, 2003 12:03AM

Fine then, don't read it, guys! sniff

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: January 02, 2003 05:32AM

I don't have an inkling what Siren said... well not completely true, I did get some of it (maybe 1/3).
Still perhaps I can help.

The second one, is pretty good, and doesn't require any real tinkering. What it could use is a look back in maybe a few months to a year, once it isn't so personal, and rewrite it then.

The first poem (I cry too) is way too wordy. You need to go at it with a chainsaw and clear cut that forest of words down to the point where you can see the forest by the single tree remaining! Chop, chop!

Now of course, me little ol' Nutmeg, I could go through it, and do so myself, to give you an example of what I am saying, but if I did, then I think that would just make you dig in your heels. Claim that I have made it mine, and not change a thing at all. Soooo I am going to leave it as it is, and only post two lines changed instead of the whole piece.

You write me so many letters and profess
how much you love me and care for me, and
how much I hurt you by "leaving" you and
"messing" with your mind, but really you
just don't get it. What about all the times you
messed with my mind and I accepted them
and forgave you without an ounce of
resentment, the way you resented me for
hurting you - how dare I! And I should know
and believe that for the sole reason of love
that all can work in the universe, that because
I love you that I can just ignore all the
problems and the fights, bitterness, jealousy
and cold anger and self-hatred.

You hurt me! You hurt me so bad(ly) with your (watch your grammar girl!)
selfish games to make me hate you! Don't
you get it, I could never hate you! No, you
don't get it, because you can't see past
your own problems and emotions, but that's
okay; I forgive you, I accept you, I understand you
the way no one else does. (Changed from this point)
Too bad, that you can't reciprocate, and see
our mutual pain.
Too bad, you can't see, that I'm a person too...
and I cry.

Lady of the Night

My main problem with the piece Megan, is that it is just a story with line breaks. It has no real "Imagery" in your word choices. It is also riddled with clichés. Grammatically, it is fairly good, and structurally it IS sound, but I have to ask; where is the poetry?

I really don't like giving negative critiques, but I do want you to grow as a poet. I apologise if I have bruised you.
I do like the second one. It is much stronger through-out.

I cry too

I got your letter;
confessing your love, fingers bruised, pen clenched
as you enscribe your pain upon the parchment,
deranged by my leaving you,
blinded to your role, just another off stage actor,
reading lines from a cue card.

Etc..

If you are going to write prose, use the tools to build it to last. Alliteration (because you can't rhyme, you need a replacement rhythm), metaphors and similies to enrich it with imagery. Don't try to spell it out for us so much. We don't need the play by play of actual statements made. i.e. Don't quote, emote!

Let me give you an example of good prose, and I will go through it and point out what makes it strong.

I want to engage in intellectual intercourse.
To drink deeply (here is the imagery) of experience;
Sip slowly (alliteration, in the form of descriptive phrasing) from the cup of wisdom (more good imagery).
I want to meditate on the rain slapping the windowpane. (excellent! Draws us into a single moment, and sets the stage for what will follow)
Speak quietly to one another (good! Speak quietly sets the mood, and shows that the speech isn't whispered, but merely lowered)
At three a.m. over Earl Grey Tea. (Excellent! Ties back to the words sipping, and the cup of wisdom. Pulls the reader into a mystic phase of fate and tea leaves, when combined with the previous lines. Also ties back to the rain line, giving us another glimpse into that moment in time, without innundating us with the specifics all at the same time.)
I want to discuss the meaning of all that exists, (Excellent! Again, you have tied this line back into the meditation line)
To gaze at the moon that sails by; (Good imagery. A metaphor of the moon as a ship, similiar to Alfred Noyes... "The moon was a ghostly galleon..")
Contemplate the equations of life. Good! Again tying back to previous lines. You have now linked all three)
I want to toy with the fingers of the soul that drives you, (Okay, this line sucks! But I have long since given up changing your mind on it!)
Taste of a passion we both possess; (Excellent. The alliteration adds to both the imagery, and lends it a subtle beat)
Share a common spirituality. (Again, good alliteration)
I want to engage in intellectual intercourse. (And the circle is complete, bringing us back to where we first began. The title of course, is also using the tool of Alliteration, which helps to set the tone through-out the piece as a whole.

You can go ahead and post my response here on eratasphere, and tell those stooges that they wouldn't know good prose it it smacked them in the ass! Ahem! Sorry about the outburst...

Oaky, now read it again, without my clutter in the way, and then read through I Cry Too (what is with that comma? Not needed).

Intelectual Intercourse

I want to engage in intellectual intercourse.
To drink deeply of experience;
Sip slowly from the cup of wisdom.
I want to meditate on the rain slapping the windowpane.
Speak quietly to one another
At three a.m. over Earl Grey Tea.
I want to discuss the meaning of all that exists,
To gaze at the moon that sails by;
Contemplate the equations of life.
I want to toy with the fingers of the soul that drives you,
Taste of a passion we both possess;
Share a common spirituality.
I want to engage in intellectual intercourse.


Lady of the Night (posted in early June 2002)

1/3 the size, 10 times the content. Kapish?

With love,


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Noloco (---.vp.centurytel.net)
Date: January 02, 2003 06:35AM

Geeees Bruce im not even gonna read it,but then again i didn't read much of the other replys either. Sad,but true this how somethings are. Lady i must say i did enjoy both of them. Though maybe Bruce was right in that you could use less words in the first poem,but it seemed more like a letter to me. Ah well i did enjoy em both.

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.192.---)
Date: January 02, 2003 08:06AM

I'll come back today and post back to you guys, I promise. Gots to shower and catch the bus.

Loves,
Lady


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: January 02, 2003 08:38AM

Nutmeg dear,

I just wanted you to know that I wrote this prior to Friv. and that none of my criticisms here were influenced by my vitriol on the Frivolous thread, but were done from an honest desire to help you with your poem.

Love,


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Terry Johnson (---.tnt1.alamagordo.nm.da.uu.net)
Date: January 02, 2003 09:55AM

Lady,
Long time ago on this one, but you may read this.
Ted Bundy was a serial killer, who got sexual thrills from killing girls. He was executed by the State of Florida in... what guys... 78,79?? Gary Gilmore was a murderer who killed two people on two days in robberys in Provo Utah. He was executed by the state in 1978. He also has the "honor" of being the first person to be executed by a state since the Supreme Court abolished the death penalty in 1968 after the execution of Carols Garreaz in Colorado.
I didn't choose them to start a social discussion about capitol punishment, but to point out that Bundy (138 deaths) and Gilmore (2) each had people beside "kin" who loved them.
Perhaps we define soul mate differently. I agree there is no predestination of love.

Terry


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: January 02, 2003 10:06AM

Should ask Show some faith, she would know, she makes a study of serials, or is that cereals? j/k

here is a site on Bundy;

[www.crimelibrary.com] />


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.194.---)
Date: January 02, 2003 05:43PM

Ah yes, Terry. And you're right, they were loved by some people, surely. Hitler had a girlfriend, did he not? Just out of curiousity... who is Carols Garreaz?

I can't ask Faith unless I see her popping around on a relevant or frivolous thread, Bruce tongue sticking out smiley

And Bruce, I trust you in that when you critique work, you don't critique it while emotionally upset, so as not to stain the crit. I thank you for that hug and kiss on each cheek

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: silent siren (---.dip.t-dialin.net)
Date: January 02, 2003 05:56PM

Ayayayay...our Bruce gets merciless! :-)

siren


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: January 02, 2003 09:00PM

Lady,

Thanks for the hug and the kiss, you are a sweetie!

Hitler in fact had many mistresses as well as a girlfriend, but near the wars end, when it was apparent his madman's dream was lost, he in fact married her, and so Eva Braun became Mrs. Eva Hitler.

Her life in his shadow wasn't an easy one, and she in fact tried to kill herself on at least one occasion, in despair that he would never love her and settle down.

So yes, there was at least one person who actually loved Adolf the man, but in doing so, I think that Eva must have been more than a little insane herself. It also goes to show the true power that man had over people; similar to David koresh, but on such a larger stage.

Anyway, I would very much like a response to my critique? Please?


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: kellygirl (---.kp.org)
Date: January 02, 2003 11:14PM

Lady, I don't know if this is autobiographical, it doesn't even matter. But you nailed it for me in this piece.....wonderful! kam


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: January 03, 2003 09:06AM

I know you'd like a reply to your crit, Bruce, but I'm afraid that it'll be longer than I thought to get to it sad smiley I am very very behind on my schoolwork and it has to get done. Else I fail Lifeskills, and I don't have another year/semester to make that up!!

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: January 03, 2003 09:07AM

And yes, Kelly, this is autobiographical. It's about my now-ex boyfriend.... nuff said? Lol. Bell!

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: January 05, 2003 10:26AM

I refuse to be ignored Lady by such trifles as you graduating!

So until I get a comment on my critique, I will periodically be bumping this one up to the top. No commenting on other works now, until after you have dealt with this one, ya hear?

Good luck with the homework dear.

Lzzy? Did you ever finish your Auden; Ulysses Shield/the illiad?


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: silent siren (---.ber.dial.de.colt.net)
Date: January 05, 2003 12:12PM

SIREN: (aside to the audience) And HOW merciless!

;-)

Loreleysse (?)


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.192.---)
Date: January 05, 2003 04:24PM

Blah blah blah! I hate homework, it sucks! I mean, really! And they gave it to me OVER VACATION!! sigh... I have an eMail to attend to, and I gotta catch up to Friv. and such, and then I need to type up some stuff for my portfolio, and I will get to your crit a.s.a.p. I PROMISE! smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: silent siren (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date: January 06, 2003 04:12AM

Milady,

anything I could help you with?

except for maths, sciences, geography and sports you can ask me evrything...music, french, English, German, biology, history, poetry.

:-)

your
siren


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: January 06, 2003 12:19PM

Siren - Reply on Friv smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Critic (62.172.72.---)
Date: January 07, 2003 08:32AM

Well, i'm crying too now.....with laughter. What a boring self-indulgent, cliche laden piece of rhetoric. You really should get out more girlfriend.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.195.---)
Date: January 08, 2003 10:55PM

sighs, rolling eyes Anyways.

Hey Bruce, guess what! I printed out your critique, and I read it about a couple hours ago. Aren't you proud? grinning smiley

All I have to say to it is... thank you! It was well-written and constructive, and I wasn't offended a single time. I forget now... how did you want me to change my FAVORITE LINE about the fingers of the soul? And Bruce? Could you pwease do a critique of Angel in Disguise like you did for Intellectual Intercourse?

All of this alliteration and links and ties and so forth that you mentioned for Intellectual Intercourse... wasn't even intentional. But hey! Glad to know it's all there grinning smiley

As to changing "I Cry, Too" ... well... I can't say as I will. This isn't meant to be a good, serious piece. It's like a journal entry, kind of. You don't go back and edit or rewrite your journal, and I don't do it for this. Just wanted to know what people thought. Oh, and the comma is in the title, because I THINK it's supposed to be there, because of "too" but I'm not certain.

hugs and kisses Thank you, Brucie

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: lgreen (---.client.attbi.com)
Date: January 08, 2003 11:12PM

Late posting---however--I like "For every you there is an I".

"I Cry, Too" is just what you said--more like a journal entry---maybe could pull a poem from it....

enjoyed the read

Ell


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: steve espinosa (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 08, 2003 11:53PM

This would make a gooood song...just as it is

Eminem made a life statment with story prose just like this.

This was made for him and I mean that like a compliment...


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Noloco (---.vp.centurytel.net)
Date: January 09, 2003 04:10AM

smiling smiley

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: January 09, 2003 09:06AM

Oh yeah? Which song (by Eminem)?

Thanks for the replies, guys smiling smiley Glad you liked.

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: vampyricslut (207.44.47.---)
Date: January 09, 2003 10:05AM

Critic,

what the hell is wrong with you? Who the fuck gave you the rite to be sucha an ass? its cool and all to have an opinion on some one else work but you don't have to be such a dick about it.

VampyricSlut


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: January 09, 2003 12:23PM

Thanks, VampyricSlut smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (66.231.195.---)
Date: January 10, 2003 01:39AM

Bruce!!! I read your critique!!!!

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Noloco (64.91.31.---)
Date: January 10, 2003 04:57AM

Well according to my g/f dicks are good things....so i guess change that to prick ?

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Stephen Fryer (---.bbd14tcl.dsl.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 10, 2003 05:18AM

Nolon, this kind of remark is unnecessary.

Stephen


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Noloco (64.91.31.---)
Date: January 10, 2003 05:31AM

Hehe i didn't mean it i seriously didn't,but but it just came straight out. I swear it wasn't meant to be taken serious. Anyways this isn't friv. I shut my mouth now.

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Stephen Fryer (---.bbd14tcl.dsl.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 10, 2003 06:10AM

Well, maybe there's a lesson here for all of us. I am constantly tempted to fire off one-liners when something strikes me. Mostly, I don't. I wait a few minutes, come back to it, think about what I was going to say, and then don't say it. Because it's frivolous, and adds little to a debate.

Stephen


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Noloco (---.vp.centurytel.net)
Date: January 10, 2003 06:36AM

I Understand what i did was wrong and in the end i didn't realize what i was doing and just as always im just messing up things. Doing things without thought isn't good,but tends to be one of those things i do alot. I understand you and i accept it alot Stephen you're a good person and i want you to never forget that. I mean what i say and what i say is true. Yes im friving,but this thread is pretty much dead right,or am i wrong and if so please forgive me.

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Jack (---.eapplied.com)
Date: January 10, 2003 06:48AM

Nolon-

When we get to know people, as we have all gotten to know each other here, we need to say less and less to get the message across. We all know you. We know where you're coming from. We know that slip-ups happen from time to time (none by ME of course). It's not a big deal. It's not the same as if someone nobody knows comes in here and starts flinging garbage around. Don't sweat it. I have read everything you have ever posted, and I must say, you have come MILES from where you started. Keep up the good work.

In the future any references to genitalia shall be couched in a fruit metaphor!


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Stephen Fryer (---.bbd14tcl.dsl.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 10, 2003 07:07AM

Absolutely right, Jack. Nolon is one good old boy - I mean that. Wish I could say the same for some of the other a*******s who come here!

BTW, Jack - what's a "metaphor" ? (Reply on separate thread.)

Stephen


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Jack (---.eapplied.com)
Date: January 10, 2003 07:14AM

Stephen-

I mostly use my meta phor faux hunting. I especially like faux paws (on toast. of course).


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: January 10, 2003 11:59AM

Lady,

Thank you for both reading and finding my critique to be helpful. It is what I live for!

Very busy. Sorry.

Catchya, if you don't catch me first!


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: January 10, 2003 12:29PM

Fruit metaphors? Like a banana and a.... what?

I wasn't offended by Noco's comment or anything, and yeah, I spose this thread's dead.... sniff

Tommy's talking to me again!! Yay!!! smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: rats (204.57.47.---)
Date: January 14, 2003 12:56PM

i have felt the smae way
it sux

good luck


love and light

Rats


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Percival (---.c189.t7.mrt.starband.net)
Date: January 17, 2003 01:39AM

This guy sounds like a keeper.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Percival (---.c189.t7.mrt.starband.net)
Date: January 17, 2003 01:42AM

P.S. I know someone who likes my banana ;]


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Noloco (---.vp.centurytel.net)
Date: January 17, 2003 01:54AM

Shut up and oh bananas will probably go extinct....i can't spell,but yes there not having sex and it has been that way for a while now without science there maybe noooo more banana

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Percival (---.c189.t7.mrt.starband.net)
Date: January 17, 2003 01:58AM

WHAT THE FUCK NOLOCO?! NO HELLO?! Oh. My. God.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Percival (---.c189.t7.mrt.starband.net)
Date: January 17, 2003 02:07AM

OMFG NO BANANAS WTF I LOVE BANANAS OMFG YOU'RE A DEAD MAN NOLOCO YOU BETTER MAKE THOSE BANANAS GET BUSY AND I MEAN NOW!!! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 19, 2003 10:08PM

Well hey to you too, Jaguar. Sheesh! Come on here swearing all over my thread and don't even give ME a hello. Ding on the swears!

Rats, thank you much for reading this prose and for your sympathy (empathy?). I'm sorry you had to go through it, too.

No more bananas? Yay!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, but I don't like nanas. They're mushy wrinkles nose smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: January 21, 2003 05:18PM

Lady,

Bananas are good for you. Very high in potasium, and are excellent at offesetting muscle fatigue.

Now personally, once they aren't green at the top, I can't stomach them either, but there is always banana bread.

This poem SHOULD be reposted on your new website dear. Doesn't get more teen than this. Truly!


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brandon (---.we.client2.attbi.com)
Date: January 21, 2003 07:11PM

well lady, i agree with brucefur on this one. not much of a poem. it is definately as you said "a journal entry". you might think about turning this into poetry or prose and leave this in your journal.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (64.70.24.---)
Date: January 22, 2003 12:27AM

Doesn't get more teen than this? What's that supposed to mean??? And I'll post it on there one of these days. It really needs more traffic, so I suppose I should add my two cents, right? I've got 6 or 7 ppl so far (woohoo! lol), and only one poem (Sargirl's "Internet Love"). Sooooo... yeah.

Umm... oh, and what do you mean not green on the top? Doesn't that mean ripe? Or does the very top of a banana stay green until it's rotten? Lol, that'd be a big difference. I spose I need something to fight muscle fatigue, but I just can't eat bananas. There's something about the texture and the residue/aftertaste it leaves in my mouth makes a face I'm just gonna start taking a multivitamin, because I don't eat anything healthy.

Lady of the Night


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bchsia.telus.net)
Date: June 23, 2004 01:16PM

Just read this again and found some fun in the banter/discussions.

Bananas start off green dear, and then as they ripen turn yellow from the toe to the tip; just before they are fully ripe they have just a bit of green left at the top and that is the stage that I like them at. Have to agree with you; once they are mushy, their texture becomes unappealing.

Once they go spotty and brown, well, they are just groooooss.

Although that is the best stage to make them into banana bread... still taste pretty good that way.

Sincerely,


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 23, 2004 01:17PM

Tally me banana


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: twotenranch (---.tnt4.den4.da.uu.net)
Date: June 23, 2004 01:27PM

The part of rereading all this that I noticed is that I misspelled Carlos, and miss silent siren.

Terry


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.bchsia.telus.net)
Date: June 23, 2004 04:45PM

Terry,

Silent Siren is currently studying music, english and fencing at the university of Hannover in Germany; her internet access is much more limited now that she isn't able to surf on mum's dime winking smiley

I do still hear from her occasionally; next time I do, I will be sure to ask her to drop you a line, and maybe a poem to boot! I am sure that she will appreciate that people like you still miss her.

Sincerely,


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: camus (---.server.ntli.net)
Date: June 23, 2004 06:30PM

Yet another rant, (not poem) and an inarticulate one at that!

I hate to say it but my time spent on here has certainly helped to clarify the notion that Americans don't get Irony and have no sense of Humour.

This place is a joke, so I bid you all a fond farewell, and hope to see my anthology soon...........

Pull your heads out your asses for crying out loud.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 09:56AM

I haven't got one out of which to pull my head


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Gwydion (209.53.139.---)
Date: June 24, 2004 11:22AM


Johnny, I'll lend you mine. grinning smiley


It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 11:55AM

grinning smiley

Guess there's really no point in saying anything else to him, right? Since he's all gone and stuff? Too bad he listened to a poetry forum to judge America - not that I'm a fan.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 03:19PM

Camus,

Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

The Americans that I have met, have always been polite; being Canadian I am not. What is your excuse?

If it is such a waste of your time, don't read it; if you do, quit whining about it.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 03:44PM

If he rhymes with "drives a bus"
i say good riddance without much fuss
but if the rhyme's "belongs in zoo"
to riddance add "away with you"


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 03:57PM

Gwydion,

Borrow your Tire Irony, or your Cheekiness?


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: lg (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: June 24, 2004 04:05PM

Brucefur, considering the title of this piece, your suggestion to Camus:

...quit whining about it.


is hilarious. grinning smiley


Les



Post Edited (06-24-04 15:06)


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 04:12PM

Thanks Les !


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Gwydion (209.53.139.---)
Date: June 24, 2004 05:03PM



Johnny, cheekiness of course!


It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: W. Wizard (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 05:36PM

No sense of humor? Is that a joke? I don't get it...

-W. Wizard


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: W. Wizard (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 05:50PM

Ohhhhh. I see now. He means that we can't tell good jokes like:

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, "sorry but we don't serve food in here."

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphault under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I understand. Please don't tell anyone I wrote these out, it would ruin the reputation of all americans!!! By the way, it's said we have Military Intelligence over here, is that not ironic?

-W.Wizard


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: camus (---.server.ntli.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 07:58PM

Listen I piss myself off more than I do you, hence being back here after so categorically stating I'm off. I can never fully draw a line under anything, I'm useless, and most of the time have nothing concrete to back up anything I say.

And what I said about Americans having no sense of Humour, well how wrong I was, you guys are hilarious, especially Wizard, Military Intelligence..........pure genius.......comedy gold.

I especially love the way you concentrate on Periods, Commas and line breaks that is hilarious, and forget the content altogether (unless of course it is about fairies, god or unrequited love) great suff.

I love you all..............but have been wounded in hatred.


Doubt everything. Find your own light.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Percival (---.humboldt1.com)
Date: June 24, 2004 08:16PM


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: camus (---.server.ntli.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 08:32PM

LOL, yeh I went all out there, especially the being wounded in hatred,

But I'll let you reclaim your blatant stupidity throne, you do it so well..........


Doubt everything. Find your own light.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Percival (---.humboldt1.com)
Date: June 24, 2004 08:39PM

Don't I though?


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: camus (---.server.ntli.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 09:22PM

Thanks Percival,


I feel we will grow to be month long friends.............


Doubt everything. Find your own light.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Percival (---.humboldt1.com)
Date: June 24, 2004 10:42PM

Hugs


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: W. Wizard (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: June 24, 2004 10:55PM

Camus,

No need to apologize, becuase being an ignorant american helps the insults roll off. I only responded to the challenge of a debate over lack of humor and inability to understan irony (which is right on if your talking about Alanis Morresette). As I've said many a time on this sight, I love a good debate. And them was fightin' words smiling smiley. However, you weren't exatly too far off. You see...I am the funniest person in American and all I had were a couple of bar jokes, so... smiling smiley. Glad you didn't go, for even if you are crude at times, you obviously have some morals, for you couldn't leave on such note, and I respect that. Besides, you seem to have a way of feeding my fire, after I was worried about burning out! Keep 'em comin'!!! smiling smiley

-W. Wizard

P.S. I'm afraid we'll only have these debates on other's postings, for I have no heartbreak poems worthy of posting! W.W.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 25, 2004 10:07AM

Camus:

I wasn't REALLY going to beat you about the head and neck with a Tire Irony !

Imagine the Allegore !

You'll have to settle for the usual punjab and nabob


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Emer (---.as1.cld.dublin.eircom.net)
Date: June 25, 2004 10:49AM

Isn't Alanis Morresette Canadian?


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 25, 2004 11:00AM

I'm not sure where Alanis is from, but she has a song about irony which shows she doesn't understand irony, which is as ironic as you can get.

No way is she THAT clever !


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: June 25, 2004 12:14PM

Yes, Alanis is Canadian. I don't even get half the stuff y'all said about Americans, but I'ma just let it roll off my shoulders. I don't really like America anyway shrugs Weirdos.

Anyway, thanks for such an interesting debate on my site. Perci, your post to Camus beginning with "wow wow wow wow wow" was just great grinning smiley How true!

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 25, 2004 12:33PM

Lady, I think the dark side of your vacuum cleaner is showing


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: W. Wizard (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: June 25, 2004 12:59PM

Thank goodness Alanis is Canadian! Maybe we Americans aren't as bad as I thought (as far a irony goes that is). Thanks for clearing that up, Lady. By the way, where might you be from, that has such a trouble accepting Americans. And why weirdos? Confused, yes, we're definately confused, but weird? I thought that was only me! smiling smiley

-W. Wizard


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 25, 2004 01:00PM

i'm weird but i'm FUN weird and not CREEPY weird !


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: June 26, 2004 12:56AM

I'm from the Eastern side of the state of Tennessee, US of A winking smiley

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: W. Wizard (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: June 26, 2004 12:18PM

LOL. I had a feeling you were american! None has more problems with americans than americans, that's for sure!

-W. Wizard


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: June 26, 2004 03:36PM

That's because none know us better than we do! Nah, I don't generalize people (cept Canadians), but I CAN say that patriotism, ignorance, arrogance and immaturity DO annoy me. As of the last few years especially, popular America has done a fine job of displaying all four of these qualities.

Really, we're all people. I promise! So don't fear them anymore than you fear yourself...

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Emer (---.as1.cld.dublin.eircom.net)
Date: June 27, 2004 10:06AM

People outside America don't FEAR americans, they're just kind of the butt of all jokes. Sorry! And I have to say, this poem reads more like a rent than a poem, it has the rhythm of a piece of prose and very little aesthetic language.
Regards


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: W. Wizard (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: June 27, 2004 02:09PM

Well, that's good, emer. No one should FEAR us! That's not the goal of most americans. In fact, our main goal is to entertain, and so the fact that we're the butt of most of the jokes is sign that we are achieving at least one of our goals. In fact, we're the butt of most of our OWN jokes!

-W. Wizard


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ca.shawcable.net)
Date: June 27, 2004 04:19PM

A city slicker drives onto a ranch and pulls up in front of the top hand sitting in his pickup truck. The cityslicker points at a bovine, carefully masticating its cud out in the field.

"I do believe that is a cow!" Claims the city slicker, "in fact, it looks much more like a cow than a horse. Further more, this can't be a ranch, because I see over there that there are still trees standing, there are no fences to stop the cattle from wandering off your property, the house is too modern looking and you aren't on a horse. Everybody knows that a cowboy rides a horse," exclaims the city slicker.

With great aplomb, the top hand looks the city slicker in the eye and asks him, "What do you think that we should do then, to make this a ranch?"

"Well," says the city slicker, "I would tear up the house and put those sticky out window thingies on the roof, fence your land in and get rid of all of the trees. I would then get you a horse, so that you could be a proper cowboy."

"And this would make this a ranch?" asks the top hand innocently.

"Why, yes sir, it most certainly would!" states the city slicker emphatically.

"So I need more than a thousand head of cattle, and five quarter sections then,?" asks the top hand somewhat baffled.

"For sure. Just not a proper ranch with just those things," says the city slicker with assurance.

"I see, I see," says the top hand, "and how many ranches have you worked on?"


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Johnny SansCulo (---.nycmny83.covad.net)
Date: June 28, 2004 10:16AM

A Texas rancher visits a Long Island farm, and asks how far the property goes. The farmer points out the borders, and the Texan says "At my ranch in Texas, I can start driving my car in the morning and by lunchtime, I'm still not at the end of my property."

The farmer says "yeah, I had a car like that once"


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: June 28, 2004 04:12PM

Both funny.

Emer, thanks for your comments on this piece. It was a bit of a rant, I admit. I wasn't aiming to wow the crouds with this one winking smiley

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Emer (---.as1.cld.dublin.eircom.net)
Date: June 28, 2004 05:10PM

Glad I didn't offend you


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: June 29, 2004 09:22AM

Few things offend me.

Lady of the Night

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: W. Wizard (---.celestica.com)
Date: June 29, 2004 10:56AM

Few things...no offense, Lady

-W. Wizard


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.tys.bellsouth.net)
Date: June 30, 2004 01:52AM

... lol. Had to think about that one for a sec winking smiley

Lady

I never conquered, rarely came, sixteen just held such better days.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: Just Jack (---.southg01.mi.comcast.net)
Date: February 02, 2005 04:35PM

This poem was okay, but the thread was a hoot.


Re: I cry, too
Posted by: lg (---.ca.charter.com)
Date: February 02, 2005 11:24PM

One of my favorite lines from the conversation is JSans saying;

I'm fun weird, not CREEPY weird.


Glad he cleared that up!



Les


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