I dug out my poetry notebook (which severely needs to be updated) and the first "real" poem I've written was on September 9, 2000. I've been writing them for years and years and years, but this is the first one that was actually a poem, I think. The rest were like "The sun rises and is beautiful and it's a new day" with a little picture under it, lol. Actually.. the first "real" poem I gave to Tommy and he has the only copy of it (ya know, that hopelessly-in-love mind of a 13 year old?), but this is about him too, actually. I had to write a poem for my English class my sophomore year, and I wrote this in.. fifteen-thirty minutes? Thought you might like to see it
You don't think I understand
I really truly do
You say you've seen the dark side
of life, well I have too
We both live in this great big cage
Trapped, with no escape
We're slapped in the face everyday
By people filled with hate
Over time we've learned to give
And receive each other's trust
And if we're gonna make it
In this world it is a must
You live your life in Tennessee
Far away from mine
Yet we live together in our world
Of light and darkness intertwined
I miss him...
Lady of the Night
Dear Lady, Great piece for a first poem. I really like the lines:
"Over time we've learned to give
And receive each other's trust"
That is not always an easy thing to do, but it is essential in life. jhs
am not fine today and feel very related to this being beaten...
cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-------------------------CURTIS OH CURTIS!
sorry 4 evrybody who knows me and reads this (keep quiet, Kreisler!)
Thanks for the comments. Personally, I think it's kind of elementary, though I don't dislike it as much as I used to. But who was it... JoeT perhaps? I can't remember, but somebody said something about how they don't rewrite their poems; rather, they just take the advice given and try to make the next one better. I never really thought about it, but that's really cool. Kinda gives voice to what I could never explain by not wanting to rewrite poetry.
I'm not quite sure what you meant when you said you "feel very related to this being beaten" but I'm sorry you're not fine, and I'm sorry you're upset... normally I'm glad when someone can relate, but I'm sorry when it has to be in a sad way. My condolences... hugs
Lady of the Night
Excellent work lady.... I especially like the line "I miss him". Even though plain, it carries a strong sense with it...But great overall poem! (I like your old stuff)
"I miss him..." wasn't part of the poem, lol. That was all me He's gone now...... we broke up last year (well, I broke up with him) for the third or fourth time in three years, so it's been harder and harder on him, and.. well, I suppose he decided he couldn't handle the pain and so forth, so he wrote me a Dear Jane letter a few months ago, and asked me not to contact him... it's... yeah. So many times I want to call him and I can't.. oi..
But thank you for your comments, and I'm glad you like it
Lady of the Night
I think I can remember my first, j00 wanna see if I can manage it?
I like this one Megan, and as you say it is your first I will make no comments upon it.
Any first should be remembered as it was, and not be embellished.
Therefore, I will still my itching fingers, and offer up no critique.
Well, on the poem anyway.
When Tommy is ready he may come back around, but I think that he is doing the right thing. Some times it is impossible to get the best perspective when you are too close to the situation at hand.
The right thing! The right thing?!?!? What, are you nuts?? The right thing means taking no consideration of another person's feelings and just doing whatever the hell you want because you think the situation is just sooo much worse than it actually is because you don't have the ability to look past the end of your own friggin nose and see maybe something OTHER than the problems and the negativity??? The right thing means just emailing somebody who loves you one day, who loves you and owes their life to you, and telling them how much you realized that they don't love you and how you can't take this "unrequited love" and all of that because it just hurts too bad?? The HELL that's right thing!
No! The right thing is to face up to your problems and not run from them! He's being a selfish coward right now, because he's tired of dealing with his problems so he's pushing me away because he can't look at me anymore without heartbreak (when he COULD just TRY looking at me a different way without staring at the problems) and pain. He's smoking cigarettes and cigars, PROBABLY drinking even though he promised he wouldn't and dumped 300someodd dollars worth of booze down the bathtub for me, and rebelling, doing everything he knows I hate him doing, everything that he hates about himself. He's epitomizing everything that everyone DOESN'T LIKE because THAT way, everyone (including himself) will hate him and leave him alone to dwell in his own misery! Believe me, I know. He's tried it on me before, several times. But guess what! sigh dammit... it doesn't work! People still love him and care for him but he's too god d*mn fucking BLIND to see it... he can't look past himself and see what he's doing to the people he loves!!! Damn!
Sometimes emotions can only be dealt with at arms length, and then once they have been, they become managable again.
His love is unrequited; you love for him isn't the romantic kind.
You are giving him the space he needs, even at your own emotional cost, and that is to be commended.
If instead of personal growth, he turns self destructive, well then perhaps he would welcome someone like you coming back into his life with a ray of light, but otherwise that would only make it take longer for the healing to occur.
Myself, I wish that Ian would follow Tommy's example and sever all connections with Becky until he is on his feet again, able to face the world. In fact, I wish to God that he had done so last year, because he would likely be able to face facts by now.
So yes, IF Tommy isn't going on a self destructive bend to reinforce how bad he is, then I do very much feel that he is doing the right thing here.
It may hurt you... well obviously it does, but in the end it just may allow him to see you as JUST A FRIEND.
groans Tommy has been on a self-destructive course of some kind for ages now. It's my fault, to a degree, though I don't blame myself (does that make sense?). Yes, it would be smart for Ian to sever all ties with Becky, but in that case... I really think that his love is unrequited, romantically speaking, based on things I've heard Becky say about him. Though they may be emotionally influenced the way I rant and rave about how much Tommy angered and hurt me, and I still love him as much as I ever did... Though "sever" is a bit harsh.. how about.. let go?
And yes, I do love him romantically. How many times have I told people... if you truly fall in love with someone, you never fall out of it. I wouldn't admit it to him because it would complicate things and hurt him more, but when we were talking almost every night, weeks ago, I really began to miss him and wish things could've worked out. Because yes, I do love him romantically. Angelito knows this, and I imagine it's hard for him, but he understands and accepts (the same way I accept that he still loves Jennifer... I think... wish I understood that ). What Tommy lacks is faith, because I dashed that to bits a year ago.
And if he were dealing with emotions at arms' length that would be one thing. But he's not. He's turning his face away so that he doesn't have to look at me because it hurts.
When will people ever learn that just because you love someone does NOT mean that it can and will work out, and just because you break up with someone, it does NOT mean that they don't love you! If people could just learn that one simple lesson, it would change the world...
Lady of the Night
You are right!
So write us a poem about it. Make it famous, and move the world that much closer to understanding. I know you could!
wryly The world hardly pays attention to me and my writing. And I don't know if I could do that...... besides. Wasn't it you that laughed at me for thinking I could "actually make money" on my writing? Hmm?
Lady of the Night
Making money at poetry and getting recognition for it are two very different things Megan, but yes it was me that said that. I wasn't however saying it with any such implication that you COULDN'T do it, just that it wasn't common for living poets to proffit from their work. Poetry.com certainly proffits, but those poets are the ones footing the bills.
Once you have enough quality poems together, than I would definitely encourage you to publish your work and make some money off of it. I do still think that is more easily accomplished if your name is already known (and could broker a better deal with your publisher as a result).
As to the poem that I have suggested you to write; it is also very much easier to get one poem published and have it gain national attention, than it is have a whole book published. Give it some thought; seriously.
I agree, go for it and be famous! (if possible )
I like this, it is a good first poem!
Yeah, but... but... hmph I can't.. I'm not good enough. Seriously. Robert Frost is world-renowned, not Megan Clemmer.
Lady of the Night