Black Skyes

The radio was a phosphorescent glow
In the dark of the highway -
Yellow dashes an ellipsis of
Unembarked upon travels;
An oilslick of asphalt pouring
Into tomorrow.

Somehow I knew
You wouldn‘t be home.

Bruce Herbert Fader 03-22-2013 00:12
-for Jay

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/22/2013 12:35PM by Boo Cipher.

Omens, both good and bad, are everywhere. It takes a sharp eye like this to spot them in the most unsuspecting places. Nice piece, Bruce.

Joe

One minor grammmatical note: Elipses (plural form) should be changed to elipsis (singular) to agree with the indefinite article, "an."

Thanks Joe, I was wondering about that. I will make the change now.

I almost didn't post the note because I hate to sound like a nit-picker. Glad you took it for the constructive criticism it was meant to be.

Joe, I maybe rusty, but that is more reason to appreciate constructive criticism, not less. Please never hesitate to offer advice on how my poetry could be improved. Even if I don‘t adjust the piece in question it will likely bear fruit in a poem down the line.

Thank you in advance.

Brucefur

what is it about black skies and yellow dashes, and tomorrow's oilslicks? time slants sideways and we find ourselves often alone in this wide universe. we probably passed each other on this road . . .

Way to go, Boo...fabulous, can totally visualize. For some reason I am reminded of our family camping trips and driving in the dead of night...I like that

You are getting better and better. I personally am happy we have a couple of teachers on hand. I often need help with my grammar and punctuation. I really liked this one, it painted a picture for me.

JP

JP, so nice to have almost the entire old crowd back again... Now where is Izzy? Lol I wish I could agree about being better, but I will settle for the getting part. Thanks!

Gwydion, my dad lived for road trips. How did you guess that was what this was about?

Mitts, most assuredly. Driving is one of my greatest freedoms. I sometimes think that when big brother truly comes it will be when everyone takes the bus. Lol