User Submitted Poetry
 Interested in feedback about a piece you've written? 

eMule -> The Poetry Archive -> Forums -> User Submitted Poetry

Goto Thread: PreviousNext
Goto: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: Jack (12.46.184.---)
Date: October 12, 2002 08:59PM

A vacant lot
A country lane
The footpath by the river

Slow down
Look close
There is plenty of time

First color
Daffodil gold
Shrugging off her ermine coat of snow

In the ditch
Facing south
The purple loosestrife too impatient for April

Queen Annes' lace
Rules the meadow
In the same exquisite gown her mother wore

No hothouse
No nursery
No frail supermodel orchid or even rose

No fertilizer
No insecticide
Their Gardener is nowhere to be seen

High summer
Song-birds and cicadas
The mower comes along to clear the mess

No sorrow
No tears
We'll all be back in the spring

Who are they to call us weeds?

Re: Weeds
Posted by: Stephen Fryer (81.77.71.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 02:55AM

That is very nice, and exact, and carries the right amount of sympathy for the poem's subjects.
Whose "Gardener is nowhere to be seen". Yes, that puts us soi-disant gardeners in our place!


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Jack (68.43.49.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 03:07AM


Up and about early this Sunday?

Re: Weeds
Posted by: Jack (68.43.49.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 03:07AM


Up and about early this Sunday?

Re: Weeds
Posted by: Jack (68.43.49.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 03:10AM

I'm a little uncomfortable with all of the 'No No No' going on in the middle of it.

Re: Weeds
Posted by: Stephen Fryer (81.77.91.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 04:40AM

Jack, sometimes I think there's a whiff of Yeats about you. Faint usquebaugh aroma, there.

You know, "small cabin", "bean-rows", "honey-bee", "cricket sings" and "linnet's wings".

Oh, and your strength is your ability to stand on the roadways and pavements of America and listen. I hear what you hear. But my poetry is struggling behind barbed wire. Yours isn't, lucky man, friend.


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Jack (68.43.49.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 10:01AM


First of all, Thank you so much.

Second of all, this is where a 'Reading Room' would come in handy. I would be able to sit unobtrusively in the corner, and listen to folks like you, and maybe, after LOTS of eavesdropping, I would understand just ONE of the references you just made.

Again, thanks.

Re: Weeds
Posted by: JP (208.1.86.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 12:54PM

And I'll sit next to you Jack, as long as you're not smelling too strongly of uisge beatha. JP

Re: Weeds
Posted by: bobo (65.32.44.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 01:52PM

Jack! This poem settles it-- I'm taking a drive the country today. Wow, I love this! But I think you're more like Robert Frost, than Yeats.

As for the middle:

"No hothouse
Or nursery
Or frail supermodel orchid or even rose

No fertilizer
Or insecticide
Their Gardener is nowhere to be seen"

Personally, I like the repetition, but this could cut a few of the "nos" out, if they really bother you that much...

Please post some more poems!


P.S. Have you ever read this one?

Desert Places
by: Robert Frost

Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast
In a field I looked into going past,
And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,
But a few weeds and stubble showing last.

The woods around it have it--it is theirs.
All animals are smothered in their lairs.
I am too absent-spirited to count;
The loneliness includes me unawares.

And lonely as it is that loneliness
Will be more lonely ere it will be less--
A blanker whiteness of benighted snow
With no expression, nothing to express.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars--on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places.

From "A Further Range", 1936

I hope this doesn't scramble, I apologize if it does... seems to everytime I try to paste it!

Re: Weeds
Posted by: lgreen (12.252.116.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 03:53PM

Jack-great poem. Stephen is a well of knowledge---am glad we are allowed to drink from it sometimes...............

You created a vision with your words - well done!

You even inspired bobo to share the words of Frost.......

it's a good poem.


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Stephen Fryer (81.77.67.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 05:35PM

Guys - especially Jack - go here (and do click on the hear this hyperlink, but pour a whisky first):
[] />


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 13, 2002 09:08PM


I would that the spirits had ceased to call,
and I could sit with my pals, down at the bar
each neat glass that came, I would down it all;
Someone else would be needed, to drive the car.

Those gaelic spirits though, are too strong for my will
so I must be content as the other lads swill.
Just think of me with cheer, when next you are sipping,
I would be there you know, if my will wasn't slipping!


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Jack (12.46.184.---)
Date: October 14, 2002 02:10AM

Many thanks to one and all.
Stephen, Thank you for the clarification. My computer at work says that my current settings won't allow me to hear it. I'm such a techno-tard, I don't know how to change them.

Frost and Yeats!? Wow, you guys need to get out more.

Honestly, thank you. I never learned how to take a compliment.

Re: Weeds
Posted by: Jack (
Date: March 16, 2003 07:59PM

Shameless self-promotion

Re: Weeds
Posted by: Jack? (
Date: September 12, 2003 03:37PM


I really enjoyed your 'Untouched Field'.
It takes me to a quiet place, where I remembered this one.


Re: Weeds
Posted by: -Les- (
Date: September 12, 2003 03:40PM

Ahhh springtime. Very nicely done.


Re: Weeds
Posted by: J.H.SUMMERS (
Date: September 12, 2003 07:34PM


Sorry I missed this one earlier, I like the unseen Gardener aspect.


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Just Jack (
Date: October 27, 2004 10:28AM

Last one, promise.

Re: Weeds
Posted by: peternsz (
Date: October 27, 2004 10:55AM


Nice description.


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Gwydion (209.53.139.---)
Date: October 27, 2004 11:23AM

Ohhh! This is a brilliant poem, particularly the last verse!

Jack, I enjoyed the poem in both form and content, nice imagery too.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)

Re: Weeds
Posted by: lg (
Date: October 27, 2004 12:37PM

Good one, Jack, you've been in the vaults again.


Re: Weeds
Posted by: Just Jack (
Date: October 27, 2004 02:06PM


I already thanked you for the whole 'Anthology thing', but that was before I understood it to be a double-edged sword. Now I can't reveal the pieces for discussion without opening up that whole 'Crappy Cowboy Poetry' can of worms.
We were having a seasonal poetry chat, and I thought 'Weeds', 'Golden Hoard', and maybe 'Eleven' would be relevant. But there is no way to select those from the collection without someone saying "Hey, what's this 'Doofus' thing about?' You get what I'm saying? The simple solution is to not write the fun/dubious stuff in the first place. Or maybe we can get Wally McCrea and Sarah Teasdale into the same room. I don't know. I'll work on it.

Thanks again (really) for the anthology.


Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.
This poetry forum at powered by Phorum.