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Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 12:35PM

"Troubadour"

I've been so many places
And learned so many things
Like how to live
And how to love
And give somebody wings

In the process of learning
I've broken several hearts
One day I'll learn
To put in place
All the jagged parts

I wander 'round the world
Dreaming so many dreams
Only to see them
Tattered and torn
And ripped at the seams

Someday I'll love and settle
He'll carry me through the door
Until that day
Content I'll be
As a wand'ring troubadour

- Written....oh fudge. Umm...my Sophomore year in High School.

This poem, um, sucks. But hey, Bruce wanted it up here. I don't like it at all, it sounds too much like me, lol.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 07:15PM

There it is. Boy I do love this poem, it rhymes so well, and so smoothly.

It is sweet like chocolate, both smooth and rich.

I think it is wonderful, and I am hoping that the forum will back me up on this, and convince our hard headed little poet how good this piece really is.

Love ya Nutmeggy,
Brucefur


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Sargirl (24.194.207.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 09:20PM

I will!
This rocks!
Great poem, again!
Sargirl


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Noloco (209.142.182.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 11:35PM

I will, however what in the world is a troubadour?
Lady are you insane ? The word in this poem flowed very well.I enjoyed every little word in this poem. Great work. Great read.

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (152.163.188.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 04:56PM

Thanks again! I meant to post what a troubadour was, but I guess I forgot. A troubadour, is a travelling poet of midievil (why doesn't that look right? I can always spell it..) times. Help much? I still don't like it much, but hey, Bruce asked! Anyone who knows me, knows that I'll give them the world if only they'll ask...

Thanks again!

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 09:19PM

medieval


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (205.188.208.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 11:42PM

I spelled it like the first time, and it just looked weird...I've always been able to spell it right! Thank you Bruce smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Ian Beaumont (195.92.198.---)
Date: October 06, 2002 09:48AM

Well, I will happily back Bruce up here too. I love this poem. I also feel a bit like a wandering troubadour on occassions, so I feel a kind of association with this poem.


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Terry Johnson (67.225.176.---)
Date: October 06, 2002 10:14AM

Put me down as thinking it is a wonderful read.
I like smooth ryming poetry.
Perhaps the lady is too close to see the beauty of this work.


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 10, 2002 05:45AM

Hey Lady, I was cleaning up my room, and found this. I guess that you must have dropped it :-P

So I thought, well I thought that I had just better give it back to you. hahahaha

Love you dear,

Brucefur


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 10, 2002 09:07AM

Nah, I think I purposely left it there! tongue sticking out smiley Thanks, Bruce. Thank you, Terry. Perhaps I am too close? Or perhaps I'm the only one in reality here ;-P Lol, but thanks!

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 15, 2002 02:42PM

Dooby doo...looky here, it dropped again. See, Bruce? You beg me to put it on here, I do, and how many replies has it got? Hmm....not as many as some other pieces of mine! smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Jay (---.system42.com)
Date: October 15, 2002 03:08PM

I agree with the poet. It does suck.
The first bit reads like a riddle.

Jay


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Ylena (---.ne.client2.attbi.com)
Date: October 15, 2002 06:16PM

Lady of the Night,
I really like this piece! It's so sad, but at the same time it has a really upbeat side to it. I like the metre and the rhyme a lot, too. I am glad that Bruce convinced you to put it up. Life is about risks, my friend, so take them! Excellent job.

Ylena


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 15, 2002 10:17PM

Life is a riddle, I would say.

Lady, the answer is that in this thread, we are actually commenting on the poem and not just chatting up life experiences.

Quality over quantity. You should be proud.

Brucefur


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: silent siren (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date: October 16, 2002 01:18PM

I really love this one. Backup, backup.
No criticism, it is absolutely lovely, I'd like to sing it with a guitar in hand since I can't play lute.

Many German poems as well are written from the troubadour perspective, I wanted to add, and very bautiful. And go look and hear that fabulous opera from Verdi!

silent siren
"deserto sulla terra" (desert on earth) - first aria from the troubadour himself

silent siren
immersed in music again


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 16, 2002 03:35PM

Thanks much, guys smiling smiley

Jay, could ya tell me why you think it sucks? I mean, I agree, but I was wondering if we were thinking along the same lines.

Bruce, good point about quality over quantity. Thanks.

Siren, hey, how are ya? Good, I hope. I'm surprised that you haven't any criticism! And flattered, I think. No rhyme me or I'll eat you, no knives being sharpened...hey, lol, maybe it's better than I thought. winking smiley Thanks much!

Catch ya on the flip side, fruity

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Jay (---.system42.com)
Date: October 16, 2002 03:45PM

Well, maybe "sucks" is a strong word. Lets just say that it's not a very quality calibre of poetry. It could be a childrens rhyme or something like that.

I've been so many places
And learned so many things
Like how to live
And how to love
And give somebody wings

*very corny. "and give somebody wings"

In the process of learning
I've broken several hearts
One day I'll learn
To put in place
All the jagged parts

*it's not enough to me to hear that you broke several hearts. I need more of an explanation. Whose hearts?

I wander 'round the world
Dreaming so many dreams
Only to see them
Tattered and torn
And ripped at the seams

*"tattered and torn" "ripped at the seams" - redundant.

Someday I'll love and settle
He'll carry me through the door
Until that day
Content I'll be
As a wand'ring troubadour

*I hate to see so many apostrophes in poetry. "Someday I'll love and settle" flows much nicer as "Someday I will love and settle". I also have a problem with broken words like "wand'ring" and " 'round " as used in the previous stanza.

Finally, nine times out of ten, I hate rhyme in poetry. It's just a bias of mine.

Jay


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 16, 2002 04:14PM

Thanks much for the criticism smiling smiley Much appreciated. I didn't really have any specific things that I didn't like, I just didn't like the basic air of it. But thanks!

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: silent siren (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date: October 16, 2002 04:21PM

Gosh have you never discovered the beauty in folk songs? Not the country stuff you might have in ear. Real old folk songs. Long ballads. We have got so many of them!

siren


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 16, 2002 04:41PM


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: silent siren (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date: October 17, 2002 12:22PM

In einem kühlen Grunde, down in the cool valley,
da geht ein Mühlenrad. goes the mill.
Mein Liebchen ist verschwunden, my darling has vanished,
die dort gewohnet hat. who used to live there.

Sie hat mir treu versprochen, She promised me faithfullness,
gab mir einen Ring dabei; and in doing so gave me a ring;
sie hat die Treu gebrochen, she's broken my faith,
das Ringlein sprang entzwei. the ring is broken in parts.

[...]

Ich möcht als Spielmann reisen I want to travel as a troubadour
wohl in die Welt hinaus, out into the world,
und singen meine Weisen, and sing my melodies,
und ziehn von Haus zu Haus. and go from house to house.

Hör ich das Mühlrad gehen, When I hear the mill going,
ich weiß nicht, was ich will; I don't know what I want;
Ich möcht am liebsten sterben, The best would be I died,
dann wär's auf einmal still. then it would be silent.


Joseph von Eichendorff

siren


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: kellygirl (---.kp.org)
Date: October 17, 2002 03:42PM

Jay, if you have such a dislike for rhyming poetry, how do you feel qualified to critique it? I dislike hip-hop, so I would never critique it....kam


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lizzy (---.dialup.pltn13.pacbell.net)
Date: October 17, 2002 04:05PM

How could you not like this poem!!!! I love it! I agree that the first stanza is a bit on the corny side, but I absolutely love the rest. I love the part about the Jagged hearts, and the endilg lines give me a great feeling. I really like it when poems end well. Great work!
Lizz


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 17, 2002 04:16PM

That's pretty cool, Siren smiling smiley Us Americans aren't quite so cultured winking smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: The Great Brandoni (---.018.popsite.net)
Date: October 17, 2002 05:38PM

I actually like the first stanza the best

I've been so many places
And learned so many things
Like how to live
And how to love
And give somebody wings

it's lovely.

for some reason with the talk of folk songs i thought of a medieval song i learned in 8th grade.

take thine heart into your care
and sooth it's sorrow and complaining
for once again before we part
Ah, hold me fast
hold me fast, hold me fast...


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 17, 2002 09:07PM

This land is our land, that is a good American folk song, and I am sure that if I thought on it long enough I could come up with many.


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Jay (---.system42.com)
Date: October 18, 2002 10:47AM

I didn't realize that not liking something was grounds for keeping your opinions to yourself.


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: October 18, 2002 07:34PM

It's not! You're allowed to have (and speak) your own opinions. It's just common courtesy to have a lil consideration for the feelings of the others.

Bruce...don't even GET me started on that song! Makes my throat hurt smiling smiley

That sounds pretty cool, Brandon. Thanks for the critique smiling smiley

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: silent siren (---.ber.dial.de.colt.net)
Date: October 20, 2002 06:35PM

Hey what! Want some lessons? Mememememememe...gan!

siren,
returned from a musical rehearsal where she found out she could also be not too bad a teacher


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 21, 2002 05:40AM

Lady, you don't mean this song do you? Smiles innocently

1952 remake:

This land is your land, this land is my land
From the redwood forest to the New York island.
From the snow-capped mountains to the Gulf Stream waters
This land is made for you and me.

As I go walkin' my ribbon of highway
I see all around me my blue blue skyway
Everywhere around me the wind keeps a-whistlin'
This land is made for you and me.

I'm a-chasin' my shadow out across this roadmap
To my wheat fields waving, to my cornfield dancing
As I go walkin' this wind keeps talkin'
This land is made for you and me.

I can see your mailbox, I can see your doorstep
I can feel my wind rock your tip-top treetop
All around your house there my sunbeam whispers
This land is made for you and me.


Or the original (1940) version, by Woody Guthrie?

This land is your land, this land is my land
From [the] California to the [Staten] New York Island,
From the Redwood Forest, to the Gulf stream waters,
[God blessed America for me.]

As I went walking that ribbon of highway
And saw above me that endless skyway,
And saw below me the golden valley, I said:
[God blessed America for me.]

I roamed and rambled and followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts,
And all around me , a voice was sounding:
[God blessed America for me.]

Was a high wall there that tried to stop me
A sign was painted said: Private Property,
But on the back side it didn't say nothing --
[God blessed America for me.]

When the sun come shining, then I was strolling
In wheat fields waving and dust clouds rolling;
The voice was chanting as the fog was lifting:
[God blessed America for me.]

One bright sunny morning in the shadow of the steeple
By the Relief Office I saw my people --
As they stood hungry, I stood there wondering if
[God blessed America for me.]

The second one is the stronger piece I feel, although it is much darker than the remake.

Sing, sing a song, sing out loud... oh, never mind, I forget how that one goes!

Brucefur


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Sargirl (24.194.207.---)
Date: October 21, 2002 08:22AM

Oh God.
Not that!
sigh
Can't I get through one day without patriotism?
Sargirl


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 21, 2002 07:49PM

Sargirl,

Did you read and understand the very last line in Woody Guthrie's original? I don't think it is about patriotism. I think that it is about love of the land and its people. Big difference in my opinion.

I would proudly sing that song, knowing the Jack's, Terry's, Ell's, Skyes, Megan's, Bobo's, booboo's, JHS' Lizzie's, Sarah's (both of you), Kellygirls, etc... You guys are what represents America to me, and what a country YOU are!

Love,
Brucefur
PS: JP, didn't know whether I should lump ya in there or not!


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Sargirl (24.194.207.---)
Date: October 21, 2002 10:08PM

Ok, I can see that. The thing is that we singers have that and the national anthem and a bunch of other stuff thrown at us all together as the stuff that we begin concerts with. It looses all meaning and becomes a pile of words that everyone knows and has a vague idea relates to history and themselves and each other. I despise The National Anthem because it has lost purpose, and is out of date, and I guess I threw all the other songs I was taught at that age with it.
Sargirl


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 22, 2002 12:45AM

I like the Star Spangled Banner, and I don't think that winning when the odds are against you and your country is on the line could ever go out of style.

Now granted it isn't as cool as Oh Canada! or Waltzing Matilda, but then you are a Commonwealth with our great and noble history! Thhhhhhhhhhpt :-P

Brucefur


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: lgreen (---.client.attbi.com)
Date: October 22, 2002 03:07AM

Lady--I love this poem and does remind me of folk music---it flows---
"This Land is Your Land" was also sung my Peter, Paul and Mary---I saw them this summer at the Botanical Gardens----great time---and I knew the words---which is a plus---------

some poems rhyme---some don't and the words of poets take many forms and shapes---variety--diversity---love it

Jay- you are just not very diplomatic--(my first clue is when you post such things as "your poem sucks") Your first post was rude--as usual--then you at least give constructive criticism--from your point of view---which is to say we all have a point of view---we all have a choice to agree or disagree and we can choose to agree to disagree--AND ON THE OTHER HAND when you enjoy a poem---you say so and why.....that is just your way...diplomat you ain't! Gentile-you ain't..oh well........la la la la la-life goes on.......

Ell


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 22, 2002 04:43AM

oops, that should have read, "you AREN'T a commonwealth country."

Ell,

I have been meaning to email you, and will do so either today or tomorrow.

Brucefur
PS: Sing Siren sing!


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: silent siren (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date: October 22, 2002 04:23PM

Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit?

ggg

siren


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 22, 2002 05:08PM

I'll respond in the morning!! Oh, and Bruce, you forgot a verse. Yes, it was the 1954 version, but it goes like this:

This land is your land, this land is my land
From California to the New York island.
From the redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters
This land is made for you and me.

As I go walkin' my ribbon of highway
I saw above me that endless skyway
I saw below me that golden valley
This land is made for you and me.

I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps
Through the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
When all around me a voice came sounding
This land was made for you and me
---------------------------------------
I'm a-chasin' my shadow out across this roadmap
To my wheat fields waving, to my cornfield dancing
As I go walkin' this wind keeps talkin'
This land is made for you and me.

I can see your mailbox, I can see your doorstep
I can feel my wind rock your tip-top treetop
All around your house there my sunbeam whispers
This land is made for you and me.


I've never heard of those last two. But the first ones, to my knowledge, go as I just typed 'em. That's how we learned it in music class, out of some book.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 22, 2002 11:00PM

I didn't forget something that I never knew Lady, I cut and pasted it from the Woody Guthrie official web site. :-P


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 25, 2002 05:41PM

Really? No idea. As I said is the only way I ever knew it! Mom used to sing to me every single night when I was 3, because I wouldn't go to sleep otherwise. But she always ended up falling asleep first and I'd climb out of bed and go play. She'd hear me in the other room and come get me, and start it over again. She said that by the time I was 4, I knew like, 50 songs, and I'd sing 'em for anyone who listened, lol.

Ahhhh I was such a dork..

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 25, 2002 06:33PM

Nope, not at all, and that explains why you still love to sing so much. You have a good voice too... Siren should hear you sometime.

I still say it's a good song though, even if I don't know the right words. Guess you will have to teach me.


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: silent siren (---.ber.dial.de.colt.net)
Date: October 27, 2002 04:06AM

So okay, who comes to meet me in Seattle in concert next February?
;-)
siren


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brucefur (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date: October 27, 2002 07:56AM

Me, me, me! jumps up and down

While I am trying to anyway. Why did you have to choose a month following on the heels of Christmas? :-P


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Lady of the Night (---.unet.maine.edu)
Date: October 28, 2002 05:01PM

My voice hella sucks now, Bruce. It changed, and now I rarely sing anymore sad smiley Well...I do...but only like, in dramatic, joking ways. I sounded much, much better last summer...I don't know what happened, but it's gone, and it's very depressing.... sniff

Your concert?

Lady of the Night


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Re: Troubadour
Posted by: Brandon (---.we.client2.attbi.com)
Date: October 28, 2002 06:11PM

wow. i never knew the original version of that song. very cool. thanks brucefur.


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