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Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 10:12AM

"Break Me"

Sitting alone
In the darkness
Silence pounding
In my head
Pain consuming
My entire soul
I turn my head
And now I know
I'll never be
Good enough

Breathe faster
Clench my fists
Pressure building
I can't escape
Now I realize my fate
Falling, falling
Faster, faster
No control
No desire
Nothing to stop
These frightened tears
Close my eyes
It's almost over
Now I realize my fate
Faster and faster
And faster I fall

Suddenly everything
Around me stops
As I lay on the floor
Crumpled and torn
Now I realize
my fate
I hold only
Broken dreams
And a promise that
Nothing will be okay.

- Written....sometime

Lady of the Night


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Sargirl (24.194.207.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 05:09PM

this left me dizzy!
great poem!
but....
nothing will be ok?
sad smiley
sad
sargirl


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 05:13PM

Sposed to make you dizzy! smiling smiley But yes, at that time, nothing would be okay. I have those bouts sometimes winking smiley Ain't they fun?

Lady of the Night


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Sargirl (24.194.207.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 05:14PM

oh yes!
as fun as sticking your hand in a deer!


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 05:19PM

Lol

Lady


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Sargirl (24.194.207.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 05:20PM

smiling smiley


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Quiet Dreamer (198.81.20.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 06:33PM

Whoa! Cool effect! And I've never stuck my head in a deer... I don't ever intend to... :|

Psst, she does get does bouts sometimes...

Love,
~QD


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 10:38PM

Well that was... depressing. :-l

Still, I do have to admit that every now and again, there is nothing better than a good wallow.

Wegan's Wallow, but NEVER fall down! :-P

Be proud Megs, you are strong as steel and silk.

love,
Brucefur


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Noloco (209.142.182.---)
Date: October 04, 2002 11:09PM

Depressing, but nicely written. I think i just may end up putting some of that trent reznor on she keeps speaking about smiling smiley

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Quiet Dreamer (198.81.20.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 12:40AM

And I forgot to mention earlier...depressing. Tell me what you're thinking please....

Love to all and much more to Megan,
~QD


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: JP (207.43.74.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 02:43AM

I remember. Good poem. JP


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (152.163.188.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 04:38PM

Oi you guys! I'm not depressed! Lol, but thanks so much for being concerned...most of my earlier stuff IS depressing (as you've seen..), but that's because, well, I used to be depressed all the time. Angelito is my light, and hopefully he sees that. And Nolon, you've not listened to Nine Inch Nails??????????????????????????????????? I'm very surprised, given the lyrics that you post! LISTEN TO HIM!!! He is a GOD!!!!!!

Cool effect, Angelito? Huh?

Thanks again, all, very much.

Lady of the Night


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 09:13PM

I see that Lady's dyslexia is acting up again; she meant DOG Nolon, I am sure of it. :-P


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (205.188.208.---)
Date: October 05, 2002 11:40PM

Don't even go there, Bruce! You have an NIN CD! That SHOULD be mine!!!!! I want it!! I only have "The Fragile...." sniff Oh, and "Downward Spiral" on tape that sounds really crappy 'cause it's a sucky tape......

Lady of the Night


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 06, 2002 05:34AM

Or perhaps because it is Downward Spiral?

I will add that to my will shall I? To Megan, the Pretty Hate Machine CD.


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Ian Beaumont (195.92.198.---)
Date: October 06, 2002 06:59AM

Well, what can I say about it? Depressing, yes. Well written, very definitely, the visual imagery the piece generates is stunning. Hugs


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: LMH (12.247.231.---)
Date: October 06, 2002 04:29PM

THIS IS SOOO SAD


LMH


1st Thessalonians 1:10

And to waite for His Son from heaven, whom He raised from the dead, that is Jesus, who delivers us from the wrath to come.


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: lgreen (12.252.116.---)
Date: October 06, 2002 05:51PM

We must visit the dark side in order to appreciate the light.......excellent poem Ell


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 07, 2002 02:32PM

YES Bruce! I want it!!!!!!!!!!!! But I mean, what do you mean by adding things to your will? And college and stuff? Oi! You don't gotta do that...just the CD! And hey, the Downward Spiral is good! Allll his stuff is good! Mmm-mmm-mm!

LMH, yes, I suppose it is sad...the inspiration came when I was brushing my hair one day and I thought "pressure building, can't escape, now I realize my fate..." and I kind of built it around that. It was tough coming up with everything to lead up to that line, though.

Did the imagery really come across like you guys said, or are you just saying that? 'Cause I'm really surprised..!

Always,
Meg


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Ian Beaumont (195.92.198.---)
Date: October 07, 2002 05:06PM

To me, it did. But then I have quite a vivid imagination. Sometimes though, that isn't a good thing.


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Michaela (65.82.79.---)
Date: October 07, 2002 06:37PM

i've never read any of your poems before, and i thought the image was very clear. i disagree about the depressing part, though. i think it's sort of affirming that you can express pain and confusion in such an eloquent way.

oh, yeah. hi. i'm new here.


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 07, 2002 10:38PM

Lady,

Consider it yours... once I am gone, as to the will, you just leave that to me. It's my money, and my stuff Thhhhhhhhhhpt, so I will do as I wish with it.

Love ya,
Brucefur


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 08, 2002 09:28AM

Pffft...I'm not gonna win this one, am I? Lol, s'aight, s'aight...I'll take Pretty Hate Machine any day!!! Even though it'd be sad 'cause it'd be when you die....and....that's sad....did you say something about college on another post? 'Cause I'm a bit confused about that! You people shouldn't be spending money on me..! Oi...

Michael, hey there! How are ya? Hope you're doing good grinning smiley Thanks much for your read of my piece. And I liked how you worded your opinion, shows you have a way with words. Got any poetry of your own? Welcome to the board! We're all friends smiling smiley Why dontcha post a profile on User Profiles III? Catch ya lata!

I gotta go, 'cause Angelito's begging for attention over on "Fade..." lol

See ya!
Lady of the Night


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Brucefur (24.67.253.---)
Date: October 08, 2002 09:55AM

Lady,
What I said was something along the lines of "What I have left you in my will should pay for a couple of years of college, even with the weak Canadian dollar." Of course if I live as long as I am planning to, it will be Angelito and your grandchildren getting the money, and by that time it will probably only buy them a toaster. Hahaha

Also, you got the name wrong ya silly goose; it's Michaela, not Michael. :-P


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Quiet Dreamer (198.81.26.---)
Date: October 09, 2002 03:08AM

Grandchildren??? Whoa! Not yet! Not even close! And now....

still screams for attention from Megan, wondering what he'll get this time

Waiting,
~Quiet Dreamer


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: silent siren (217.4.128.---)
Date: October 09, 2002 03:42AM

Blubb. Emerge from the waters again.
Good subject. Too much repitition though, could be intensified, but you know who's picky. ;- P
Hugs!
siren


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 09, 2002 12:36PM

quick kiss Bell!

Lady of the Night


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: E.J. Lewis (172.179.229.---)
Date: October 09, 2002 01:22PM


That's exactly how I feel at the end of a drunk. Lying on the floor with my shirt front encrusted with vomit. Some place along the line you should have been reeling and blacking out. Ever get soused and had a hell of a hangover ? Don't try it - it's only for the big boys !


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: JP (207.43.74.---)
Date: October 09, 2002 01:29PM

Yup, sounds like you alright.


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Re: Three Words per Line, Brucie!
Posted by: Lady of the Night (209.222.212.---)
Date: October 10, 2002 09:31AM

Ewwww.....alcohol is bad for you...

Lady of the Night


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