carefully, I calculate
to carve a path to understanding
this element of aging
and the reshaping of priorities
with the passing days

clarity

so sharpening the points
all leading to something
simpler than I'd ever imagined
an ubundance of joy
refreshing
common senses

melancholy

revelations of choices
varying in result
drivers of dissappointment
and celebration
somehow seasoned
in possibilities

awakening

I like the way in which awareness progresses through your poem as the speaker "carve(s) a path to understanding this element of aging." There's a maturity evident as the verses move from clarity to melancholy to an eventual awakening...both in the speaker's emerging realization and in your writing. Nicely done, Frosty.

Joe

I like the way in which awareness progresses through your poem as the speaker "carve(s) a path to understanding this element of aging." There's a maturity evident as the verses move from clarity to melancholy to an eventual awakening...both in the speaker's emerging realization and in your writing. Nicely done, Frosty.

Joe

clarity...melancholy...awaking
sounds like Eliot's meditation, but with your own twist:
what the thunder said
Datta
Dayadhvam
Damyata
for Sherry from [www.swami-krishnananda.org] Swami Khrishnananda The Divine Life Society...that is charity, giving, mercy...as in What the Thunder Said in Eliot’s The Waste Land.

I like this piece.

Peter

amo et avanti

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2012 02:47PM by petersz.

Joe, thanks for the feedback and I'm glad something connected.

Peter, I read the link...that was exactly the very thing I needed to read today. Hit the spot on so many levels.

Thank you.

I'm glad you like my poem. I like it too, which is a "first" in a long while.