Okay guys, I'm just gonna start this here, and see how it goes. Just remember: This isn't a poem, it's the thoughts and ideas that I want to work with, to create a poem. That's where you guys come in



You open the door and let me in,
apologizing for the cold dark entryway.
I step over the threshold and look around -
It's not as bad as it seems, you know.

You are written over these walls.
Your essence upon the air.
I can feel your presence, your soul
wrapping around me, encasing me.
It's so warm in here, within your heart,
I turn my head and I can see you:
Your smooth wheat-colored babyface,
Your black hair...
The comfortableness of your body..
Your soft, beautiful dark eyes
watching me to see what I'll do, what I'll say.
My heart goes out to you and I cross over,
folding you into my arms, melding my body
to yours.
In that moment, we are finally together.
We are truly lovers, joined by that final link:
Your world.


Now, I realize that this sucks. I'm not even calling it a poem. But, these are the basic thoughts, ideas, emotions that I'm wanting to work with. Although I'm not sure I wanna keep the idea of how I was "outside" before (i.e. lines 1-4). Can anyone help me? Pwease?

And hey Bruce, in case you can't tell...He let me in Remember how I couldn't find that depth? How I knew it was there, but it just wasn't showing itself, and how could I ever keep a relationship with one who has no depth and blah blah blah blah blah? Well... He opened up to me, let me in. And I'm the first one, too. Our relationship is soo much better, now. This was only two days ago, but we're so much closer. It's a feeling of closeness, of warmth. The room is actually warmer when we talk now. This relationship really shows promise, Bruce. It really does....

Oh to be in love! - And yes, Bruce, true love DOES exist!!

Lady of the Night

Lady, great to see you're back again, have missed you. Now you know I'm not much for critiqueing others, my stuff is just thoughts and ideas, and I've read enough good poetry to know mine isn't. However, since you're asking, I don't like 'wheat colored babyface', in fact I hate it, gives me quite an objectionable picture of your beloved. As for true love, when I was a teenager, I was in love with this boy named George, oh he was adorable, with a beautiful smile and wavy black hair. Several years ago, I went home for a family reunion, and my cousin brought over this old bald headed guy, complete with earring and blue silk shirt, obviously trying to look like some swashbuckling Errol Flynn. It was George, all I could think was 'thank God I left when I did' JP

Lol, thanks for the story. And how do you mean by "objectional" view? I was kind of puddling around with that line, too. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm in love with him. Though I think I am, to a small degree. But I had a feeling I'd come across all twitterpated so I had to play it up

Lady of the Night

Pasty, pukey, cirrhotic appearance.

lmao! Ewwww! I wasn't sure how to describe it. See, I started off with "tan," but then that didn't really do it justice. He once described his skin-tone as "wheat-colored." He is Filippino-Japanese, but physically looks much more Japanese than Filippino. How else could I describe Japanese skin tone?

Lady of the Night

Ok,
I feel odd sculpting someone elses clay so to speak, but I did it anyway. So, here is what I did.
Sargirl

You open the door and let me in,
apologizing for the cold dark entryway.
I step over the threshold and look around -
it's not as bad as it seems

You are written over these walls.
essence upon the air.
I can feel your presence,

Your soul
wrapping around me,
encasing me.

It's so warm in here,
within your heart,
I turn my head

I can see you:
your smooth wheat-colored babyface,
your black hair...
The comfort of your body..

Your soft,
beautiful
dark eyes

Watching me
to see what I'll do,
what I'll say.

My heart goes out
to you
I cross over,

Folding you
into my arms,
melding my body
to yours.
In that moment,
we are finally
together.

We are truly lovers,
joined
that final link:
your world.

I thank you much, Sargirl. I'll give it some thought, work it over some more. Hopefully if I can get enough comments and advice with this piece, it'll be good someday!

Lady of the Night

Maybe you could use the words differently. I love wheat, have a vase of wheat and poppies in my living room, reminds me of the wheatfields of England. Maybe you could work in 'golden wheat' or some other words descriptive of wheat. JP

Hmm...I like "golden wheat." Sounding good, thanks

Lady of the Night

sorry, lady of the night......you're on your own, vulnerable and prone, to the silence, alone............lighten up,

the wizard of stone

"Hair like ripening wheat, and a beard the color of newly beaten copper"

Can't remember who wrote it, or about whom it was written. I only remember because when I read it (LONG ago) it applied to me. Now the wheat has gone to seed (where the crows haven't picked it clean), and verdigris has set in.

Perception of Reality

True love?
Why that is only an illusion!
To think otherwise
is only your delusion.

Love is a fine thing,
so embrace it while it lasts,
because twenty years from now,
it will surely be the past!

BHF

Ya know Bruce, for such a supportive father, you really know how to burst someone's bubble! Sheesh! Gimme a few minutes, I gotta desensitize myself before I overreact

TRUE LOVE does exist. Not everyone finds it, and apparently, you haven't found the true love that lasts forever. At least not romantically. I can safely say that, I think. It has a lot to do with one's perception, and absolutely nothing to do with the media.
Bruce, you're a fairly religious man, and certainly aren't one to second-guess God's work. I think I can safely say that. So, what do you say to the fact that I prayed and prayed, asking Him for a man that I can't read. One that is a challenge. One that will make me work for our relationship. A man with substance, with something real. Someone who is well-rounded, well-balanced. Passionate, loving, genuine. Rare. A man like no other. Okay, got all that down? Now, get to know Angelito. Well, you can't know him on the level I do cause you're a guy But basically...so far, he's turning out to be all that I asked for. Now, I'm not saying he's a "lalaking anghel," or that he is absolutely perfect in every way, but I am saying that so far, I love everything that I see in him, everything I can't see, and everything I know is there.


One can only fall in love
if they are willing to make the effort,
and open their eyes to what's around them,
and look for what it is that they dream.

Dreams don't fall in peoples' laps,
they're made manifest when you reach out
and FIND what you're looking for -
not stumble across it by chance meetings by the dumpster.

True love doesn't mean the
over the fence
under the bridge
across the ocean
pie in the sky
can't eat
can't sleep
obsessive-compulsive
desperation
that comes from the spring feelings of
twitterpation.

True love is a bonding of one soul to another,
the acceptance of something intangible,
the belief
in the possibility
of something greater
than what we are.


Bruce...you will never believe in true love if you don't look beyond your experiences.

THINK OUTSIDE YOUR MIND.

Forever Yours,
Lady of the Night

Ah, but you must love yourself before others. Bruce how's that going for you? I love love, but listen to this:
I love the word love because it means nothing at all.
Sargirl

An interesting thought, Sargirl. But yes, I definitely agree about the loving yourself, first. Learned that one the hard way As far as "I love the word love because it means nothing at all..." Hmm...makes me wonder of your life and experiences!

Lady of the Night

None. I have never been hugged, kissed, or befriended in a romantic light.

Sargirl

Well, I have, and in some cases, the word love does mean nothing at all.
Lizz

Yah! i did something right!
Sargirl

Okay, I gave it a nine beat and rhymed it and put it in fours and stuff, yeah. You might get some ideas out of it, you might not. Just thought I'd lend something.

Showing me the door you let me in,
regretting the gloomy entryway.
Looking around as I step within,
It's not as bad as you always say.

You are written all over these walls,
your every being upon the air.
I can feel your presence in the halls,
your soul surrounds me in your deep care.

Wrapped up inside the warmth of your heart,
I turn my head so I can see you.
Your intricacies, a work of art,
your beautiful face comes into view.

It’s so smooth and shines like Golden-wheat,
encasing your beautiful dark eyes;
And in my eyes you are now complete,
’cause you let me see through your disguise.

You watch me to see what I will do,
listening to see what I will say;
And you watch me send my heart to you,
and hear me sending my love your way.

Melding our bodies with an embrace,
I fold you into my loving arms.
Our separate persons are erased,
and I never set off your alarms.

I like it Brandon! Nice work!

Brandon! Wow! Oh my goodness, wow! I like! It's a little long, but wow! I probably won't keep it in this style, although I like it very much. It's not Mine though, you know? However, you actually put some order to my chaotic ramblings, and I can work with it now. Thank you so much!! Thank you! big grin

Lol, now that I'm done feeling dorky...Sargirl, I'm sorry you've never had the word love mean anything to you in that way. But in a way it works for you, because you'll appreciate it all the more when you do. And you will - as long as you're looking for it

Lady of the Night

Thanks again, Brandon! I don't recognize your name, though...new here?

sigh I hope your right. Brandon is not exactly new, he showed up after you went away a while back.
Sargirl

I know I'm right Took me 17 years, but look at me now! I'm married! Well, granted, it's only holy macaroni, but...hey! Lol. He showed up while I was gone? Does he have any work on here?

Lady of the Night

Awoken and rocking chair are both on here, there are probably more, but I don't want to have to go look!
Sargirl

How did I become the Brandon expert?

SIREN: eats Brandon for his rhymes knowing she won't be able to do anything better
;-)
(insider joke!)
siren

Lol, Siren! Any suggestions for the poem? Thanks

Lady

My dearest Lady of the Night? Is that poem about me?

I LOVE YOU!

~QD

P.S. I haven't put anything up in a while...

Well, thank you for the compliments on my working of your thoughts, joined with some of mine about what you meant by it. i just felt compelled to do it....best way to write poetry, i think. i don't really know about the inside joke though hehe. unless it has to do with me not posting that much.

No Brandon, it has to do with single syllable rhymes; say, way, you view etc.. Honestly though, I do think that yours is an improvement over Lady's rough draft.

I look forward to seeing where you go with it from here Nutmeggy!

Brucefur

Well then, obviously you like Brandon's version still best, but I think that in forcing it into this rhyme scheme, the energy of the original feeling is lost somehow. I like Sargirl's version better, it's more personal experience, more subjectivism in it. Better identification possible.
Now somebody eat me up for this criticism...
;-)
siren

siren,
NO ONE it alowed to eat ANYONE who agrees with me, because they obviously are correct as well as being very inteligent!

Sargirl

First things first: Eats Siren alllll up! There, happy? I must say, that personally, I think that Brandon captured my original..hmm...stuff (sorry, lol) better than Sargirl. Sargirl's piece was really good, but not of the same aura as who I am. I still liked, though. What I appreciate about Brandon's is that he organized it, to where I can work with it better. Thank you again!!

As far as Quiet Dreamer goes...no, it was about some OTHER sweet, loving, caring, funny, understanding, warm, sensitive guy! 'Course it was about you, sweetie! quick kiss Love you. (pssst...happy three months and one day!)

And Brucefur? Hmm...are you saying you don't like my poopy piece of nothingness way up there? Hmm? Well, just to set the record straight for the sake of preventing my own humiliation, what I posted was NOT a rough draft. It was brainstorming, writing down the ideas I want to work with. Far from a poem!

Thanks all, and keep posting!

Lady of the Night

Oh, and Quiet Dreamer, just thought I'd tell you...we're getting married on a cliff on the South Beach of the Western Continent of Santentei! And hmm...maybe it's just me and my imagination, but it sounded oddly familiar... Love you!

Always,
Megan

SIREN: rumours as a swimming fish in Lady of the night's stomach
"Blblblblbuuurrrrrbbb..."

(hey! what do you expect from someone who's just been swallowed?)
;-)

Milady, thanks! Made my day!
siren

:-)
Poo poo to you!
~
Sargirl

is jealous

Poo-poo to me too! (Somebody give me a reason why...)

Lady of the Night

umm...
Because you ate my friend?
Sargirl

i'm glad i managed to keep the essence of your thoughts, as i had hoped.

as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he

Dumb question...did you make that up?

Lady

Darryl Cobb said it.
Use google.com if you want to find the author of something, it works!
Sargirl

Lady I didn't mind your rough brainstorm... I just liked Brandon's version better.

Other than No. 9 and Victims of Bipolar I have liked all of your poems.

Brucefur

Of course I knew it was about me Happy three months and seven days! And happy four months and thirteen days!

And yes. We're getting married on a cliff overlooking a beach. It is familiar indeed

Love ya!

~Me

Yay!! You posted!! big hug and a kiss I love you!! And by the way, I'm scanning your pics AS WE SPEAK. Got one left. And we're not getting married on just any cliff....it's the one on South Beach, Santentei! I'm telling you! Lol, I'm the woman, I'm boss! Okay, well, maybe not...but hey, I can pretend! Love you, baby.

Brucefur - Of course you like Brandon's better - it's actually a poem. And I've already forgotten what No. 9 was...ohhh yeah. And whaat, you don't like my angry venting in Victims of BiPolar? I think it portrayed what it's like for us very well! Ask anyone who is/has BiPolar.

Sargirl - Good reason, lol. Thanks babe And how do I run a search for a quote??

Loves to all,
Meg

Lady,

I kind of like you being bi-polar; I know it is a strain for you, but I require you to lash out at me every once in a while. You keep me grounded!
AND you make me laugh myself silly when you are in a manic phase, so for me your curse, is my blessing, and I love you for it.

I don't think I ever said that "victims" was inaccurate, I just stated that as a poem I didn't like it. If you need to vent; go ahead and vent. It is certainly better than the alternative, which is to suppress your emotions and hold them all in. Just so long as that venting stays verbal ;-)

That cliff sounds like a beautiful place for your wedding Quiet Dreamer; just don't turn your back on her push... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! j/k.

Love you guys, (Ell, JP, Lizzie, Sargirl and the rest of you),
Brucefur

you are all the funniest people the poem as is and or was and is by all three of you is wonderful i read all the posts im proud hehe good job Lady and about that whole true love i dont know what that word supposed to mean but i gave it a meaning when my freind was finally with a guy and come to find out he used her for sex and knowing i have always loved her and not sure why i have never asked her out so crying on the bed not sure what to do next thing i know we are going out now that certain feeling i had gotten that day was so confusing but i called it love good poem nice post/replys

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

hmm

why is it you have to use to m's ? hey ugg i seen the new m&m its purple its not a skittle why purple yuck its just not m&m colors

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

LOL, Bruce, we've already discussed the push.........ahhhhhhhhhhh bit! There's a cliff in Cali that we may get married on - IF we ever get married. But Santentei....hmm...maybe a couple of our characters can get married on there. But shhhh...he doesn't know it yet! As far as you loving my BiPolar, well, so do I. I can't imagine me without it. I think it adds to my complexity (that a word? It is now!), which is what makes me unique, which makes me me! And the venting? Well...it's almost always verbal. ahem I think it could've been a poem, something like....ever see splatter art? Where an artist just takes his/her brush, dips it in paint, and throws the paint at the canvas and calls it "Paradise" or "Anger" or something like that? That's kinda what "Victims" was.....oh and hey, I'm working on another piece that if I can get it right, you might like.

Nolon, I actually found myself questioning myself last night, about whether or not I have the capability of falling in love. I believe that "in love" may exist, but I've never experienced it. "In love" would, in my opinion, mean loving someone enough to where you put all of YOURSELF INTO that love. "I am IN LOVE with da-da-da-da-da" see what I mean? And, well....I have a big fear of giving myself over to someone. SOoooo...yeah.

Later guys, bell rang!

Lady of the Night

good morning,good evening,good afternoon and or good night you made the screen say new ahh lol

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

not sure what all of you think..
but i believe true love does exist...

the 50th post wee ha can we manage 100?

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

I definitely believe true love exists. But what about the "in love"? I truly love my ex-boyfriend (I think...I know I did at one time...), but I was never "in love" with him, as I thought I was. Ahh, the dillusions of being 13. Well, I understood being "in love" at that age, I just...didn't realize that I wasn't. I dilluded (sp?) myself and my thoughts, conforming to what I wanted to be. I find myself now running as fast and far as I can from things like jealousy, guilt trips and things like that, but that's not my biggest dilemma.

Question in point: If I fall in love, giving alll of myself up to this relationship, then I'd have nothing left of my own......is it really possible for those who have been scarred by doing that in the past to do that? Do we have the capability to fall in love? Can we ever be free...?

Lady of the Night

well if that person that you are in so in love with why would you wanna be free i know its like sure there is always when i can lust and think others look sexy but the fact that i love this girl and want no other thats all there is im glad to not be free

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

That's not the freedom of which I speak. I mean..I want to be free from what holds me back from living. Scars of the past. Scars never go away, and neither does the past...

Lady of the Night

how true

Depressing, huh? Aye aye aye...!

Lady of the Night

Okay, I am most likely the wrong person to be commenting here, because you all know my views on true love already, but here goes it anyway.

What Terry has, is as close to true love as I can fathom; 32 years of marriage is doing pretty darn good. Ell; she comes close too, in my books still pining when they go away, that is a pretty good sign that the love is true.
True love though is a perfect love, with everything in synchronicity; absolute soul mates. Never a fight, infidelity, or disagreement, or questioning why you are there, and that only exists in stories! That is what I mean, when I say that true love does NOT exist!

As for if you are deluded, well only you can say that for sure, and only distance from the eye of the storm will give you the perspective that you need to do so.

It is imperative in my experience, that if you are going to make it work (and love is work), you will need to allow Angelito to be his own person, while remaining yourself. Don't rein in your ambitions to suit his, except where compromise is possible, and likewise with you to him. Your friends aren't required to be his friends, and you don't have to necessarily like all of his, but neither of you has the right to give ultimatums. i.e. "I don't like Joe, so you can't be friends with him anymore." Although, if you are living together, there is nothing wrong with saying, "I don't want Joe in our house; if you want to associate with him, I want you to do it elsewhere." That is simply a matter of respecting the others comfort, and peace of mind.

Love doesn't require you to submerge yourself till you drown in each other, that is something altogether different (JP most likely knows the medical term). Keep your own peer groups, or at least some friends that aren't mutual buddies, so that if you need to vent harmlessly, you have someone to do it with, and give him the same courtesy, (even though we KNOW you are perfect! :-P).

Ell and Terry can both probably give you better advice, and probably Stephen as well. Just don't do the bath thing! Anywho, there are my 25 cents worth. Hope that it helps you with your dilemma.

Love you always Nutmeg, and Quiet Dreamer I PRAY for you!

Brucefur

So it is like a perfect point, imaginary, but we live with what we have.
I see...
sarah

Ohhh! No WONDER you don't think True Love exists!! Because the True Love you speak of DOESN'T exist. However, the True Love I talk about, does. True love, I think, is when one loves another for the other's SOUL. His/her HEART. His/her ESSENCE. His/her CHARACTER. Loves it, but doesn't necessarily think that all is perfect. No one is perfect. Anyone who thinks perfection of another is indeed deluded! And in a case of True Love, whatever one person doesn't like about the other, they would ACCEPT.

You are absolutely right, Bruce. Your idea of True Love certainly doesn't exist, except in fairy tales and the media. If it makes you feel any better, Angelito and I both know that we'll end up fighting. I'm curious as to how bad of a fight it would be...we're both snappy people. Though it usually (I think!) takes a bit to get him angry, I'll flare up in an instant, given the right catalyst. Granted I'm defensive-angry, but that's beside the point. We both know that the other isn't perfect, and that there will be fights, and aspects that we aren't exactly crazy about. Which is why this is probably one of my best relationships thus far, if not the best.

I would LOVE to continue this, but the library is closing and so I must go. I'll write again tomorrow. Love you, Bruce.

Lady of the Night

I love my teddy bear

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

teddy bear?
are we talking like a stuffed one, symbolic, living?

its stuffed and it has a nice beautiful cute little face and i squeeze it and hold it and call it cutsie

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

Ok, I don't want to know what species it is.
Never mind!
~

Awe! That's so cute, Nolon! I used to have TONS of stuffed animals, until I brought 2 1/2 honkin' garbage bags full of them to a second hand store. I ran out of room, lol.

Lady of the Night

i still have tons of them

I have a few, but Quiet Dreamer said he'd buy me some

Lady of the Night

Go for softness, not size