If I had that time again we were without sorrows
And the laughter in your words responding mine
joy of finding day by day another greeting
and the pleasure you were such a friend of mine

I have lost my words to silence, it is over
only one step left before the dark abyss
see how far we got, how we hurt each other, crying
shattered love and bitter truth watering our eyes

I can’t vanish, neither can I go on further
deeply lost in mists of sorrow and of shame
And my pouncing tiptoe dance expresses madness
without tune or order, like a flickering flame

Oh, should I say I’m guilty of the very end?
I can never use your shoulder ‘more to cry
Can I still come back and simply say: I’m sorry?
When will this torture simply be gone by?

This one is dead serious - -
I had a pen-pal looking like father christmas. He, now about 65, once loved a 16-year old friend of mine who got schizophrenia later (inherent in family) because she went to America and got a cultural shock (don't comment, she's sensitive).
We both tried to help, began to write to each other and started a fabulous, witty pen-pal-ship we both enjoyed. We found deep friends in ourselves.
Naturally, my parents had their sorrows about that, and the crucial letter he sent was the one asking if I had meant in a minor sentence that love between us would be possible. I rejected very carefully, a 20-pages-letter, and he accepted, having wished himself he had not posted that. Then he wrote a poem comparing the dawn to a woman's features, referring to the colour of her eyes, cheeks, her neck, her breasts, her hair - I was furious because I thought he was referring to me and wrote him that he could get lost if this would be indeed so. Now I got a letter back full of anger and a hurt heart, saying that he felt deeply rejected, that the poem did only refer to features of women in general, being disappointed by me, he hates the whole world, all people who are in it and this time including me, too. That this would be his last letter unless I could find a way out.
And he knows damn well what he writes!
I am lost. I should apologize. I don't know if I've got the right to d so - been so dumb. So exaggerating. HELP ME!

siren/n.

Siren-
Personally, I don't respond well to ultimatums (long-distance or otherwise).
If you feel you were genuinely mistaken, admit it. Don't be bullied into something you know is untrue. Read some poetry. Look at this as a detatched , objective observer. Take your time. Do what's right.


This stuff is so easy when you're on the outside, looking in.

question mark in wrinkles on my forehead--but not b/c i'm 65...i must say that you are the only person i've met who's poems seem clearer than her normal writing; i have to read and re-read to understand what is going on, and afterwards am still only half sure i know. as for the poem, i thought it was great. it turned out so probably b/c it was spurred from pure emotion-those are almost always the best. as for what to do: a long time friend hits on you--unfair; because it puts you in an awkward situation. a 65 yr. old man hits on you--wierd; because he could be your father's father. an ex boyfriend of your ex bestfriend hits on you--wrong; because it is. a close friend of yours who is 65 yrs. old and once dated your best friend hits on you--unfair, wierd and wrong. the boundary he crossed though undefined, is an obvious one. you had the right to bitch and be mad at him. no worries, j

Here are my thoughts, if they are of any help.
To start with a man of 65 is wise enough to knowwhat he is doing when corresponding with you in the way he is doing. If he isn't that is his problem.
Secondly when you said rejected, I assume you meant rejected by you and you have the right to reject any advance made to you by anyone of any age. If you felt he made any advances, whether he meant it or not, you shouldn't apologise because a 65 yr old should be responsible for his actions taking into account that what he wrote could possibly lead to a misunderstanding and a terse response from you.
As to his rantings I would not believe a word of it, because we are talking of a man of 65 and not a boy of 6, who may be trying to manipulate your feelings. So don't lose any sleep over him, he is old enough to look after himself. If not, though luck for not learning it when he was young. :-)

Whoever gives an ultimatum always loses Siren, and at 65 this man should be more mature in his dealings with you.
I hope that this is no one on this site, but even if it is, I feel that it must be said that unequal relationships are never healthy; particularly if there is a sexual context.

I agree with Jack; take your time and do what is right for you.

This man is ill I think...so go ahead and help him Siren, but only as it is safe for you to do so. I would strongly advise that you keep him at an arms length.

I am worried about you,

Brucefur

I would like to respond if I may. I loved your poem, but I don't think you need to apologize for anything. He should apologize to you for taking advantage of your youth. If I read you correctly, he certainly knew what he was doing when he wrote that poem, and then tried to weasel out of it, and put the blame on you for 'misunderstanding'. I agree with Brucefur, the man is mentally ill, if, as you say he was 'in love' with your friend of 16, but I don't think you are in a position to help him. No man in his right mind would 'mess around' with the minds and emotions of children, and that's what you were to a man of 65. Men of his sort know exactly what to say in order to infatuate, they are masters, 65 years is a long time for practice. Sorry, you asked a question, and this just makes my blood boil. He doesn't deserve your slightest attention, save your poetry for someone who does. With love. JP.

siren: Considering what transpired between you and this man prior to his sending such a poem, I am not sure you should or would react in any other way than you did. The timing certainly seems inappropriate. If he was as innocent as he portrays, why react to you in anger? It is he who should apologize to you. If you perceived his poem not the way he intended, his response should have been his immediate apology. His actions speak louder than words. Is it possible or comfortable to advise him that you only want to be friends and that you will miss that and perhaps how distressed you feel as to his reaction being so brutal instead of apologetic? Do you really want to try to continue this friendship or has he succeeded in manipulating you into thinking your reaction was inappropriate. I have found that when someone has clearly done something wrong---and they are immature (irregardless of age) they simply spotlight someone else--trying to distract from the obvious. Trust yourself and how this man made you feel. You, dear siren, deserve to be respected. Do you miss how comfortable your friendship USED to be--consider how it is now..and you decide if it is worth saving. From what I can tell of the silent siren, pretty astute. "To thine ownself be true." lol Hugs! lgreen

Now if you were my daughter-I would say "tell that old buzzard bait to kiss off!" }x

siren: Considering what transpired between you and this man prior to his sending such a poem, I am not sure you should or would react in any other way than you did. The timing certainly seems inappropriate. If he was as innocent as he portrays, why react to you in anger? It is he who should apologize to you. If you perceived his poem not the way he intended, his response should have been his immediate apology. His actions speak louder than words. Is it possible or comfortable to advise him that you only want to be friends and that you will miss that and perhaps how distressed you feel as to his reaction being so brutal instead of apologetic? Do you really want to try to continue this friendship or has he succeeded in manipulating you into thinking your reaction was inappropriate. I have found that when someone has clearly done something wrong---and they are immature (irregardless of age) they simply spotlight someone else--trying to distract from the obvious. Trust yourself and how this man made you feel. You, dear siren, deserve to be respected. Do you miss how comfortable your friendship USED to be--consider how it is now..and you decide if it is worth saving. From what I can tell of the silent siren, pretty astute. "To thine ownself be true." lol Hugs! lgreen

Now if you were my daughter-I would say "tell that old buzzard bait to kiss off!" }x

damn computer--so slow---I posted twice--impatient I guess....
by the way---your poem is from the heart...

You cannot know that I have filed all his letters. More than 600 pages, from 2002 onwards. And despite of his age, he was so funny, such a friend I could cry to him if I liked to, my sounding board, my elder guide when I had any problem I could not deal with. I would have spoken to him about this one, too, if it wouldn't concern himself...that is why you have to fill the gap, sorry. I would've loved to go on if he had been my age. But he isn't.

Dear j,
he feels that I have done the same. At the beginning he wrote if I should ever feel annoyed I could send him a postcard with simple "get lost" on it. Now I did in case this would be referring to me. He writes he is crying and has written that letter.

debutant,
I guess I have to apologize or I'll lose him as a friend...wouldn't I? Yes, I would. You call him wierd and ill. Have I been trapped?

Dear Bruce,
I was acting childish myself. "What is that hair on your sleeve?" Like that. I had known the age would cause problems and it did. No one on this site since he isn't connected ;-]

Dear JP,
if he is ill at all, it is emotionally. He lives alone, has an ex, two grown up children, and broke the contact with my other former friend.
I take your words very seriously.
It hurts so much to let him go like this...he was a friend. Could be one further. How shall I end this? Soften the blow at least?

siren/n.

Igreen - thank you...this sounds more logical...
will wait the day if something else arrives here.
silent siren

Siren,
Questions to ponder:

Is being right important than saving the relationship?
Is it an equal relationship that is worth saving?

Only you can answer that, Siren, and remember there many out there in the world who are much less that 65, who are as wise and crafty as a 65 yrd old. :-)

siren...you're an intelligent girl; i'm sure (at least hope) that you wouldn't have carried on an extended relationship with someone who is intentionally manipulating you, nor would I like to believe that a man would have afforded this much effort just to weasel his way into your pants. As I say this though, I must wonder. Were I able to meet with a version of myself 3 yrs. past, I do not think we would be able to hold a conversation. You are undoubtedly mature for your age, but something really is wrong when a 40+ yr. gap can be bridged--and what I fear is wrong is an exceptional effort on his part to bridge it; which I greatly mistrust. I really do believe that this man suffers from a (multitude of) disease(s). This isn't a man who has lost his heart in 'a' girl 1/3 his age, but two in a row--and who knows how many before that. That is in the least pedophinilia. I don't want to suggest that your entire relationship was a
"baseless fabric of 'a' vision"
but it
.........."shall disolve
and, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind."
he's not such a stuff as your dreams should be made of. play 'moonlight sonato', have a glass of wine, read the letters he sent, cry, and let him go. I do not wish to be harsh, far from it, but you've asked for advise and that calls for a realistic perspective. much love, more hope...j

Igreen, again, I might have sounded myself very harsh...I can be like that, I know.

My poor French. debutant, don't fully grasp 1st sentence (typo?), but I think the relationship is worth saving...though I doubt this will be possible. We planned to meet together with my family. Now he says he can't come, everytime he does something in that direction he would be supervised. That's not like it should end...no, the relationship is clearly not equal, but funny, deep and profound.

Thanks for your kind reply, j...partly it may be that feeling young again when having young friends. He's got diabetes and sometimes a rough temper when he's angry - know that from his comments about his ex - have I caught perhaps just one of those moods?

siren

Dear Siren, I'm reading everything again thismorning, carefully. As I do not know your friend, I cannot judge his motives, but only from what you tell us, can I form an opinion. If he had your best interests at heart, he should be acting as a mentor, a guide, not as someone entertaining the possibilities of a romantic relationship. Trust your parents. It doesn't surprise me that he declined a visit when he knew they would be supervising. Do you remember that poem I posted 'Death of a hero'. That happened years ago, but I wrote about it only a few years ago, because betrayal is something one does not forget easily. He has betrayed your friendship, by making you feel uncomfortable, and then responding in such a way as cause you pain. If he is the sort of person that we, your friends here, are assuming him to be, then perhaps if you do nothing at all, he will surely contact you again. Sometimes the best advice we can receive, is to do nothing. Then we have time to sit and think, and not react to a situation. With love and hugs. JP

I had a grey haired teacher of 50 once who was very well read, charismatic, and humorous. We had a very close relationship and I was therefore often able to witness as he started (social) relationships with female students and then at some point attempted to make more of it after he had established a strong 'friendship.' It disgusted me b/c it was undoubtedly his goal from the outset. This seems similar. You're right, there is a truth to the fact that you take on aspects of your friends, and that having young friends makes one feel young oneself. That, however, is what children, and in his case grandchildren are for. I more than doubt his motives, and find it excessively unlikely that he did not have impure intentions from the start. Don't let what you want to believe cloud your judgement. You've recieved opinions from Brucefur, Jack, l. green, debutant, the wise J.P and myself, not to mention your parents, though not wholey, by and large denouncing this man. There is a possiblity that we don't know the whole story, would see it differently if we did, or just can't understand. What that chance is, you must decide. best wishes, j

Some excerpts: 24th April, 2001
… Assuming [your boyfriend] has passed out of your life by the time you are 66, if a bright young 19 year-old offers you a fair amount of affection, I bet you will accept without a second thought. To be that attractive to anyone when one is that age is something great. To be attractive enough to bridge that sort of age-gap is something most people would …die for. …
12th May
I do not see you as a replacement for [my friend]. … I am not expecting you to look upon me as a potential lover, [but] as a friend with whom you can exchange letters. … Remember, [my friend] came to me, gift-wrapped. I did not go to her. …You and I are oil and water. …
24th September
Thank you for the offer of my writing my heartsblood in blue ink … A moment of seriousness. It is a wonderful thing to have someone who can be trusted in that way and who is also willing to pledge that trrust. I think we are both in that situation. One day I might need it. …
1st November
…Now I am back to the final point where you mention you[r] mother’s concern about the letters which pass between us. … If she feels I am corrupting you, then you know I am not and I know I am not, but how do we persuade her? …
23rd May
…Thought from Wednesday morning
I must be careful or Mum will begin to think I am trying to seduce her daughter, in mind if not in body.
Quote from your letter
She refused, replying that she did not want to write or correspond with my lover. What do you think of that?
Why did you write that…? Were you trying to introduce the subject without direct reference? Do I love you? Up to this moment the answer would have been a definite NO. But now I have to confess it would be possible. I am not making advances. I try to be logical and honest. …I feel sure this is a phone-call producer. If it is anger I will understand. …So there I shall end. I am not sure how your next letter will start, even whether there will be a next letter. …
29th May
…I know you have my letters on file and I think you might like to be able to refer to your own words:
“Perhaps we missed a chance. And this “perhaps” will keep us awake in the night when we try to find words for a new start, for the next letter. Or even in personal talk. It will add a kind of sadness to our tones when we talk earnestly, to our looks when we ever meet again. It will create pauses in our conversation. … It is an enrichment, in some way. A deeper, softer red to the roses in our garden we would never have expected to be there, giving additional warmth to every line we write. … It had been missing, I guess. That special kind of melancholy. …It is precious. It is bitter, perhaps even hard, and we know it both. I would not let it go for gold or fear. Always Your Witch”.
My dear, sweet [my name], you will never, ever, write such words as beautiful in any of your contrived poetry as this. …I made a mistake, but, …I made it because it needed to be made.
17th June
…Heading home into blackness
She sleeps where the dawn is already rising. [his be-hated (!) ex in the back of the van]
Fingers across the sky.
No light but fingers of luminous colour.
Deep colour. Dark colour.
Then the clouds are lit from beneath by a sun still below the horizon.
Flame across the sky, the colour of her lips.
The colour softens to become her cheeks, soft, rosé
then decays to the fine whiteness of her neck, of her breast.
Suddenly the top of the cloud is caught by the sun and changes from black to an almost black.
Her hair is a swirling mass of brown goldeness.
I have come closer and she is there in the dawn.
You can see her beauty. Look into the dawn.
It is a wonderful sight to see my love painted across the sky.
10th July
…Now I receive this. … That you should jump to the conclusion that I was referring to you, after the discussion we have had above the subject is …so sad as to be almost paranoia. For God’s sake, think woman. If I had been referring to you, do you think I would have been so stupid as to send it to you?…I shall be in a position where I shall have to think of everything I write before I write it. …This is the last time I shall write unless you find a way to clear things up. But I fear it could be some time. What a sad ending to something which seemed so promising. …I am very dejected and I feel very rejected. I hate the world and I hate evryone in it, which at this moment includes you.


I had begun six ways of an answer, from a big “burn the damn thing!” to a cassette with songs that express exactly the way I feel, “Heart of stone”(Cher), “frozen”, “I have nothing”, “Somewhere” (Marilyn Horne singing Bernstein). Pure kitsch. Smalltalk. Pictures. It all ends up in nonsense safe the tape. I cannot write. But the more you are here to help me to define my way, I feel better. Very loving hugs to everybody…I guess You’ll find this tomorrow morning in five hours or so, when I’ll be fast asleep. Take care, all of you. See that no grumpy Badger comes your way.
silent siren. P.S.: Sorry this is so long…;-} (I learn to smile again)

Siren,
I am sorry to say that I have to be candid and come outright to say that this man is extremely manipulative and very good in his art. He hides his advances within his conversation and whatever he writes and can always claims half-truth that he isn't making one.
In fact my opinion of him grew worse after reading snips of what you sent; he appears extremely devious.
I know he can be charming and witty but he is insincere in his relationship.
I advise you to cease any communication with him {full stop}
JP has pointed out that almost everybody advised you not to continue this relationship. So perhaps you will take heed?. :-)

Sorry i always thought you was a guy then again im still not sure Siren but i think you are female.I did not read all of the comments but some where great.The poem itself was wonderful.Siren as a freind i see that if you have appolized he should accept it but then sometimes some people dont.However never turn down a freind no matter there age.Freinds is something that can make everything right in this world no matter where they are in this world.However i suggest not to get to close to a freind sometimes its hard to not want them for more then that and im talking if you are a girl and there was a guy.Online relationships are not a easy thing i know he is just a freind and im just carrying on.I do hope he accepts your appology and that you two become freinds again take care

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

Siren- I know I have come in to this conversation very late but I have read all the comments, and letter snippets, carefully. I must say that I agree with everyone. This man seems incredibly manipulative. I don't want to seem as if I'm attacking someone whose friendship you have obviously valued for a very long time, but from the letter pieces you posted it appears that his friendship was never genuine in it's intent. Sometimes there are poeple that you care about but that you cannot save, and it is in those times that you need to save yourself instead. It will hurt, but as you seem to be thinking yourself, it looks impossible to salvage this friendship and create trust agian. Without that trust between you, what would the relationship be worth? Just takeas much time as you need to think it through, and take care of yourself, whatever you do Siren.
Lots of love and hope!
Sarah

Siren, (Who is a woman from Germany ;-)

I know that I need to say something, even though so much has been said already.

It is possible that he is just very lonely and seeking a cerebral connection with a like minded woman, but I think the others are correct and that this man is up to no good.

However we have certainly not seen the entirety of your relationship and therefore none of us can truly make an informed judgement. Only you can do that Siren.

That you are young, bright and charismatic is beyond question; that he would be drawn to you is only logical. Its his approach that I question. The appearance that he has fixated on you. I think that your parents (mum) have every right to be concerned, when for all appearances this man seems to be incredibly weak willed.

It is the duty of an older man (person) to protect the young, not to prey upon them.

I don't want to unduly influence your decision Siren, but my advice would be to run far, and run fast. This man is obviously filled with both spite and rage, and doesn't seem to have a very firm grasp of his emotions.

Good luck and God bless.

Brucefur

For siren, though I didn't write it.
***********************************
The true friends who we meet online
Are a very special kind
They pierce your shields and see within
The corners of your mind.

They're always there when you're in need
With their powers to discern
They feel your pain, they offer hope
And genuine concern.

We bare our souls, expose our hearts
And show our inner fears
And then before you know it
The keyboard's stained with tears.

And if we could see them through that screen
Then no one could deny
That to be a true online friend
They too must cry.

(Unknown)

I have nothing to add on your dilemma: but the love-surge from the team has warmed me.

Stephen

Silent Siren, Boy, you leave town for a few days and look what happens. Seriously though, you have a dilema which only you can solve. You have been given some very good advice and must weigh the consequences carefully. I was most interested in the excerpts from the letters. I believe that he is being very subtle in all he says. He misdirects you with statements that are designed to put you at ease and therefore off guard. As has already been noted, you're not the first young woman he was interested in. Jack was right, if you feel you were wrong in how you dealt with his poem, admit that and only that. He's the one slamming the doors shut in this relationship. Well, enough, consider what your friends have said and then consider yourself above all else. You'll get it right, and someday you'll look back at this and see it as a major step in your developement. Everybody cares. jhs

Thank you everybody, I think I am now up again to solve the matter my own way. I'll keep contact if possible but will aways be on guard with your caring recommendations. Special thanks to JP, j, lgreen and JHS(!). You help me with wisdom of experience...I bow.
silent siren

Siren, Siren:

Truly regret you've been having to deal with something so much a "downer" and "joy-draining" as this has had to have been. We must let "no one" or "no-thing" ever "steal" our joy!

Right up front, I must emphatically agree with the general concensus of our fellow forumers. Gggrrrrrrr!!!!! this guy's behavior really had my "blood boiling" when I first read of this. I took a long pause before responding as I didn't want to come off to vitriolic and violent.

Why this strikes a particular strong nerve with me is due to having been preyed upon and betrayed as an adolescent. I like you now, was basically idealistic, trusting, loving, somewhat naive; and "how" a set of smooth-talking, glib adults who knew they didn't truly have my best interests at heart, took advantage of me. Without relating the whole saga, it basically involved being exploited during my formative years at a "bogus prep school," really "sold a bill of goods!" My parents, unfortunately, lacked any higher education and sophistication to be able to see through what was happening.

Probably needless to say, it impacted me quite adversely and it's taken quite a lot to overcome the aftereffects. Now maybe this gives you a bit of insight as to why this resonates so strongly with me. Such a painful betrayal lingers with one for quite some time, and I don't think one ever gets completely over it. Especially when the preying party won't even acknowledge what truly transpired.

First of all, even though it's a given that you're a particular lovely, charming, intelligent and intriguing young lady; don't you think this "ole buzzard" could find someone somewhat as attractive who's at the very least, half his age to have such an intense relationship with, platonic or otherwise?

I know there are some high profile celebrity relationships of 20-25yr. age difference or so which sometimes lead to marriage. I'm sure you don't have anything remotely like this in mind, but don't be fooled in the least that this rascal doesn't "sex somewhere on the brain." I hope to live to be his age or older one day, but there is "no way in hell" I could ever imagine putting a so much younger lady in an uncomfortable, awkward position as this scoundrel has you.

Why hell, if he were even advanced middle-aged this would be a bit suspect (but at least maybe he'd have the gall to meet your family); but "for crying out loud" he's a bonified senior citizen! And don't think it's purely coincidence that he just happens to be attracted to you moreso say, than someone at least halt his age. Exactly because he knows he wouldn't be able to control or manipulate such a someone so. Yes, I find this quite reprehensible; and he's awful lucky I'm not your brother, father, ex-boyfriend, uncle, etc. First he'd be in for at the very least a possible mild heart attack as I would both threaten/promise him of certain consequences. And if he dained to get boisterous or violent, oh well...

Siren, and can you not in some sense hear your ex -best friend calling out to you. Can you not fail to see the pattern here as after all she was what, a mere "sweet(innocent)-sixteen" at the time; and it seems he desired and possibly had some sexual relations with her. Now, what pray tell, would give you the impression he's somehow expunged all those memories and desires from his libido. And you mentioned her tragic schizophrenia resulting as an effect of major culture shock, but I think it's highly more likely it was more resultant from traumatic psychological, emotional shock after such a "twisted," "warped," and "perverse" relationship with said disgusting pedophile.

You may also be aware of a major headline story throughout America prior to 9/11 revovling around a missing accomplished and lovely intern, who unwittingly got involved with a married late middle-aged congressman and it's unfortunate tragic conclusion. Now, I know this is considerably different; but putting yourself in your parents shoes, surely you must understand how this is quite troubling and disturbing to them.

So my Dear Lady ( and I do sense you're quite a lady in every sense of the word), for God's (Love's) sake; I do entreat you to with all due respect to your (loved ones) and especially yourself - - let his so-called ultimatum be the "straw that broke the 'spell's' back" and let this con-artist slickster (I mean that 100% phoney-baloney about hating or being angry at the whole world - pleeeeeaaaassse give me a break...?) "know where he can go!!!" My thoughts, prayers, and good wishes are ever with you!

Namaste,
Jazzy


And something

please excuse typos as "deigned," unplaced "?"marks, etc. as I didn't proofread above before posting.

Siren-
Happy to see that you are feeling better. I would have commented earlier, but as a new kid on the block I just now read this. I don't wish to try to sway your thoughts on your decision. The only thing that I may have to offer is this: as a younger person myself (19) I know what it is like to be young, always viewed as a child it seems. I have looked over several of your works, as well as many of your comments. I see true intelect in them, greater so than perhaps most of my classmates in college. Which is why this came as a shock to me.
I always used to say that age is but a state of mind not a number. Yet, as I read this, numbers seem to matter. From what I gather Siren you want your FRIEND back. But I ask you this, if this person has put you through this, what kind of friend is he? Granted I don't know the entire story. Yet, one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn was friendship. I had been betryed in perhaps one of the worst ways. After that event I couldn't even look at my "best friend" It seems to me as though this man has betrayed you. As much as it hurt me I had to simply exit stage left, and move on with my life. I am not telling you to do that, that is your decision, and yours alone.
Yet, as I read the pages of responces I was moved. These people Siren are your friends. They are here to comfort you, help you, teach you, make you laugh (I have tons of jokes stored up, just let me know when you need one
The only thing I worry about is if this man is a true friend. It is not merely the age. If you want to have a friend whom is older than you that is a great lerning experience. jhs (along with many others) is a great example of that.
However it seems that a boundry has been crossed. Casting aside the age, a friendship boundry has been crossed. This man has failed to be your friend of resent.
It seems your compasion may only be met by your intelect. You are destined for great things Siren. Just don't let others drag you down on your way up. Aside from that I think your many friends here have said it all.
Best Wishes,
T.K.
P.S. Sorry for any typos, yet it has been a long day for me, and is far past my bed time.

Am sorry for all of you.
I sent a message yesternight (I need that word) which he downright answered, called and made an apologize. If it has been so hard weighing on my shoulders and I feel so much more happier today, enjoying finally my 20th anniversary without a shade of gloom, I prefer my personal luck. Still you can be sure I'll be on guard if he ever should try to make some improvements of the wrong kind. I'll keep you in mind.
love,
siren

Bonjour Siren:

First of all, "Bon Anniversaire!" And may whatever wish come true! Glad to know everything's better, and that you're truly back to your happy, joyous self.

Now, don't you dare be "sorry for us guys;" but just remember that we care about and love you, and desire nothing but the best for you! You deserve nothing less!

Namaste,
Jazzy

Siren - I suppose that should be belated "Bon Anniversaire!" And that explains in part why you're "so coool!" as you're a fellow "Cancer!" Mine was July 5th!

Silent, I loved your poem. It is very personal. I will put my two cents in. Stay true to your name "Silent". Sometimes people who are emotionally involved and fanatical about their passion, tend to take a response (any response) as gratification for their infatuation. "Silence is gold". Stay silent and ignore. He will cease to bother you anymore....eventually.

I just want to say, for real, that Im happy I happened to type "poetry" on a search engine and end up here. You are all obviously sympathetic, upstanding, good listeners. Friends that may have never shook hands. With my pessimistic outlook at many things, it is nice to know there is goodness gauranteed, somewhere. I know this sounds sappy and way off topic, but feel good to know that you have really given me one more little reason to do anything. Ive become more depressed as each year goes by, losing great girlfriends, friends and jobs. Now all I do is write and spend time with my pets. Im 23 , so I do have a glimmer of light ahead I hope, but at any age, we can become a prisoner of our own minds. Well, Ill continue reading all of your great work and hope you can tolerate some of mine. Thanks..Tim

Hi--Hope anyone would like this

Tim,

Buck up! Physically it's all down hill from there, but emotionally it only gets better.

Most of us have been where you are and have come forth okay. You are certainly on the right track. There is more to learn from your pets on how to achieve contentment than anything that we could offer you. Pets instinctively know about universal compassion, and tolerance.

I was recently told a story about a cat that pined to death just weeks after its companion of a decade died. Its companion was a dog!

Find what it is that you love, and the rest will follow suit.

Brucefur

PS: Siren is a very wise woman, and you could certainly learn much from her.

thanks very much, Im still happy that people take the time to read all of our posts, even if some(like mine)are a little rougher then other poems. and im sure siren is wise judging by the writing Ive seen

Nice folks here.