i wrote this response to Browning's "The Lost Mistress." hope you guys like it, send any and all responses please

where have you been, what have you seen
to find an eye both bright and black?
can you write of such things, say you have not
when before you’s what you lack?
I’ve searched for such a colored eye
as you have in your travels found,
painted with love, the love seen in mine,
and in eyes the love abounds
but I dreamt my eye, yours are all to real
so make haste don’t waste the light of day,
go to your mistrss, hold her dear
find a way to make her stay
before day subsides to night,
her eye to black without the bright

Enjoyed it, I like the reoccuring motifs and the way the poem flows :-)

Emily, changer of stars

here, try this one too please...i added a little length and changed a word here and there...thanks

where have you been, what have you seen
to find an eye both bright and black?
can you write such things, say you have not
when before you’s what you lack?
I’ve searched for such a colored eye
as you have in your travels found,
painted with love, the love seen in mine,
and in eyes the love abounds
and though she is but one, one shade
let not time her shadow bend
for though glimmers glow, glows fade
and then who’ll on your shadow tend
and that eye you’ve dreamt is real, to real
so make haste don’t waste the day,
go to your mistress, hold her dear
and find a way to make her stay,
before day subsides to night,
her eye to black without the bright

I like the revision J.


Les