Ghosts play around me,
Im numb once more,
bittersweet apathy and subtle anger,
like that in the silent man carrying a frown on the bus,
the most anger i have felt ,
songs of violence satiate my anger,
fuel the fire,
but controlled with only the heat increasing, not area.
just like the way to melt a metal.
its not for her,
for myself, and descent is inevitable while this grudge and war against myself matures.
Accept it? Get over it? you twist your dove's neck after telling it you love it.
when you said it, she nestles in your embrace.
then betray her.
admit it and kill one something that loved you.
then itll hurt.
cleaner flames burn even on brushfire. its laughable how horrible.
fuck forgiveness. you rip any happy hope in that by saying just leave.
so then remember me evil.
Forget all the joy.
I dont deserve that relief filled thought you were happy ,
even if just for a while.
The last thought ill leave is that i again realize how fun it is to be recklesss, malign, and evil.
and finally ill always wonder if you were made of concrete.
pray thatt you are not because with one fall conrete could crumble and break.
i know youre stronger than that.