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The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Lady of the Evening (208.54.94.---)
Date: July 07, 2010 10:07AM

Come on in, it's gettin late outside
and this isn't the greatest of neighborhoods.
You'll be safe with me. Ha ha...

Here, let me take that for you, and
you can take this for me. Careful,
that stuff is strong. Here, have
another.

I'll throw on some Coheed, turn down the lights and
grab you by the pockets
pulling you closer to me. The rum on your
tongue makes me hungry for you.

Next thing you know, I've got your
clothes on the floor and I pull you on top
of me, wrestling your tongue the whole time.
"Come on, baby, move with me," as my sighs
and your groans fill the night...

.
.
.

It's gettin light outside as I roll over
and pull the sheets up over my breasts
and stretch, smiling. Morning...
Not half bad for your first time. Now
get out of here and I'll see you back here again
tonight for round two.

----------------------------------------------------------

So I know it's not as "poetic" as I used to be, but I figured I'd give it a go anyway. Critiques always welcome.

-Lady of the Night


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Mr. P (24.20.36.---)
Date: July 07, 2010 09:50PM

See, by the title, I thought you were trying to snatch a married gentlemen. This thrilled me as I am attempting that very maneuver. A lady, not a gentlemen, mind. It's troubling. Her slight, continuous repressions of action flaunt her desire. She's kind, cruel, strong, driven, and scared. Poop.


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Mr. P (24.20.36.---)
Date: July 07, 2010 09:52PM

And her man is a limp-wristed twat. Grrrr.


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Lady of the Evening (208.54.94.---)
Date: July 08, 2010 12:46PM

Lol, I'm glad you clarified that it is indeed a lady as my first reaction was "Oh? A gentleman? Well there's a turn of events." It's more a "taking of him" because it's his first time (as evidenced in the last stanza).


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Mr. P (67.170.8.---)
Date: July 09, 2010 04:46AM

No, not gay. Though it's mildly amusing to see multiple people label me as such. What's unpredictable, not understandable? That gays! It's cute.

But no, I've been rather obsessing over this married woman. Well, girl, she's rather emotionally.. inept. It's adorable, watching her fierce intellect leashed by it. Watching her slowly grow as I challenge her. Of course the problem isn't getting her to leave her man, who could compare to me, after all? The problem is whether or not she'd be fit for service. Talking to people about these things has produced the most amusing results. One fine gentleman, who's opinion I enjoy greatly as he's one of the few people who understand I'm the good guy, suggested I go for it. After she figures her shit out, of course. What do you think?


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: thedyingwillbleed (174.102.207.---)
Date: July 09, 2010 04:12PM

The ending and Next thing you know, I've got your
clothes on the floor. I'm not a fan of. Just my thoughts.


Otherwise sounds like a good night.. I could probably do without that band but you know. smiling smiley


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Lady of the Evening (74.34.102.---)
Date: July 10, 2010 11:08PM

Perci,

I think the phrase "fit for service" makes me want to punch you in the balls. And the thought of you breaking up a marriage makes me sick to my stomach. Just my opinion, though.

Dying,

How would you suggest I change it? And originally it was Hinder, but he prefers Coheed so I went with them.


Critiques always welcome.

Lady of the Night

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2010 11:08PM by Lady of the Evening.


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Mr. P (24.20.36.---)
Date: July 10, 2010 11:38PM

How violent. But, were you willing to look deeper into my intentions, you may find good on the horizon. Forgive me, dear, I just get more and more careless with age. I keep thinking that when I'm being overtly aggressive, people will see it as a joke. The reasoning being that true intentions of harm are hidden by anyone of any intelligence. Silly me.

My intentions and meaning are this. She is uncertain about her marriage, this is due to her lack of emotional maturity, which I happen to have in heaps. She possesses the majority of the other qualities necessary in a woman of my type, so. So, I help her with her troubles by revealing the various knowledge I have on the subject. Either she A) Understands and grows to the point that she abandons her man, seeing they aren't right for each other. Naturally she'll come my way. Or cool smiley She doesn't understand, at which point I lose interest in her. In either case, I win. I get to flirt with an attractive woman while discussing philosophy no matter the outcome.

Tell me Lady, why is it people take me so seriously when I say bad things?


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Lady of the Evening (208.54.94.---)
Date: July 11, 2010 10:24PM

My opinion remains the same.

And I believe that people take you seriously when you say bad things because you want people to believe them. That's the image you portray for yourself. Or at least, did once upon a time.

Although I never believed half of what you said smiling smiley


Critiques always welcome.

Lady of the Night


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Mr. P (24.20.36.---)
Date: July 12, 2010 12:41AM

No, I want them to see through them, to see the joke. But few people do. It also seems I'm not as terrified as most. I've grown less and less saddened by this. Now, I accept that I am infact rare, but not in the way others have always thought me to be.

But, and please, if you're capable, convince me otherwise, I see no harm in my attempts at this woman. It's not as if I'm trying to manipulate her into coming my way. I'm not remotely interested in a woman I can control. No, I'm simply giving her information. Showing her things that may or may not change her mind about her marriage. What if she is infact unhappy, her man is weak, and she wants to leave? What if their relationship is destined to fail. Wouldn't I be a help, hurrying that along? Again, I'm not manipulating, I'm simply informing. I'm not lying, persuading, seducing, or anything of the like. I am simply providing another view point. Maybe, maybe, she has grown or is growing beyond the person that engaged in that marriage. Either way, I want her. And she's safer in my claws than the hearts of others.


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Lady of the Evening (208.54.94.---)
Date: July 12, 2010 11:52AM

I believe in the institution of marriage. I don't believe in divorce except on grounds of adultery or physical abuse.

They saw something in each other once upon a time that made them want to get married. Why not help them strengthen their marriage? She loved him once... help her love him again.


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: apoemwriter (206.248.137.---)
Date: July 12, 2010 11:58AM

I quite like the idea of grabbing someone by the pockets. That is my favorite part of this piece. I get a nice visual from that.


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Lady of the Evening (208.54.94.---)
Date: July 12, 2010 12:05PM

Thanks smiling smiley It's actually my favorite part, too. I find it sexy winking smiley


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Mr. P (24.20.36.---)
Date: July 19, 2010 11:14PM

What do kids know of love? No, I don't like that plan. I prefer the plan involving her legs wrapped around my face.

So I take it you're still beating the bible, eh? Unfortunate, you have so much potential. Tell me if it ever gets old, I'm always looking for good company.


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Re: The Taking of Him (suggestive content)
Posted by: Lady of the Evening (208.54.94.---)
Date: July 20, 2010 05:38PM

Perci,

I don't even know what to say to that. The thought of leaving Jehovah never crosses my mind. Sorry babe. You'll have to find someone else to corrupt winking smiley

Lady of the Night


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