Goto Thread: PreviousNext
Goto: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Hope...
Posted by: sahana_g (59.93.54.---)
Date: November 21, 2008 08:30AM

On moonlit nights,
In the breath of the warm summer breeze -
I feel alive again.

In rose toned mornings,
When the sun rises into the pale blue sky,
I feel the promise of a future,
Never revealed to me before.

As dusk lingers,
On the dusty hillside,
And stars start twinkling in the sky,

I know -
I shall find love someday.


Options: Reply To This MessageQuote This Message
Re: Hope...
Posted by: Merc (75.252.155.---)
Date: November 21, 2008 09:06AM

Anyone who sees the poetry in nature that way you do is destined to have their cardiovascular pump busted on more than one occation. You will find love. Then it is up to you to keep it.
Really like the way you writ all this down.

done good, kid, done real good.


Options: Reply To This MessageQuote This Message
Re: Hope...
Posted by: hpesoj (69.116.241.---)
Date: November 21, 2008 11:47AM

Sahana_g:

I love the positive attitude and optimism expressed in your poem. Very nice imagery, as well.

Joe


Options: Reply To This MessageQuote This Message
Re: Hope...
Posted by: Steevo (69.19.14.---)
Date: November 21, 2008 03:00PM

Sahana
You have a very nice sense of the beauty around you and you phrase in a pleasing way. Very nice poem.

But I would love to hear something a little deeper on the topic. I don't know where to tell you to look. Maybe you can describe what "finding love" looks like or means to you right now? I'm an old guy so don't take this the wrong way. I'm just inviting you to stretch your talent a little farther.
Steve


Options: Reply To This MessageQuote This Message
Re: Hope...
Posted by: sahana_g (124.123.136.---)
Date: November 22, 2008 02:01AM

Thank you Merc and Joe for your kind words of encouragement.

And Steve thank you so much for the nudge. In recent times, I myself, have found my poems sounding trite and superficial. Stringing together a set of words, I guess I can manage decently enough. But there has been something missing, an inner sense of truth or deeper meaning. More than that I have felt unsatiated after going through my writings, because I find there are so many more thoughts and feelings i wish to put forth, but am unable to resolve them into the verse i am writing.

So I think I am going to take up that invitation of yours to stretch myself further. Wonder what I shall discover of myself then. Thank you again.


Options: Reply To This MessageQuote This Message
Re: Hope...
Posted by: Steevo (66.82.9.---)
Date: November 22, 2008 11:44AM

The words trite and superficial are not accepted. Your poetry has value. It ought not be about good or bad. I have too often judged myself in that same way.

William Stafford used to write at least one poem every day, regardless of his situation or mood. Every day! He was asked how it was possible and his answer was this: "I just lower my standards."

It is a thin line between beating myself up and trying to make poems better or more satisfying. I try for the latter and I miss much of the time. But I no longer beat myself up over it.

We all project our own issues in much of what we say to others. I hope you know that, and realize that when I am asking you to stretch your talents, I am actually pleading with myself.

The rest of what you said I applaud.


Options: Reply To This MessageQuote This Message
Re: Hope...
Posted by: redmitten (216.187.184.---)
Date: November 24, 2008 03:45PM

nice read, sahana.

perhaps love will find you.


Options: Reply To This MessageQuote This Message


Goto: Forum ListMessage ListSearchLog In
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.
This poetry forum at emule.com powered by Phorum.