BBC Radio 4 are after newly-written Christmas limericks to broadcast - don't know if there is any other reward. E-mail them to email@example.com.
do I have to write them in "english" ?
The Magi together conferred
And decided their loins they would gird:
"This sweet cicely's old,
So, wouldn't just gold
And frankincense do?" they demurred.
And this one, called an 'extended' limerick, for the extra beats,
With Ma out of nightie and me in the buff,
We had just settled down for some slap-tickle stuff,
When out on the lawn there arose
A clamor from someone in throes
Of passion while poking a reindeer's hot muff.
Well, maybe not that one, no.
Here are a couple which I could have written:
There was an old man from Milan,
Whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He said, 'yes, I know.
'But I always try to get as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.'
Limerick quality varies a lot
Some are clever, while others are not.
Some are hits, others miss.
Some are boring, like this ...
But the worst ones of all have no plot!
Post Edited (11-09-04 22:33)
In Belfast one cold Christmas eve
came a soldier out on his leave
He put down his roll
went out for a stroll
and came back with a deer on his sleeve.
Said Johnny one day before yuletide;
I've got to catch Hugh in a 'mule slide.
I'll watch him at play
take pics of his shay
and make the girls think "what a cool ride".