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Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Pam Adams (134.71.192.---)
Date: December 23, 2003 03:26PM

Queen Elizabeth is being shown around a hospital. She comes to a ward full of people who seem to have nothing wrong with them.

Going to the first bed she says "Well, how are you."

The patient looks her straight in the eye and says "The best lay schemes of mice and men gang aft aglay!".

The Queen smiled politely, and walks to the next bed, where the patient greeted her with a hearty "Och, gi'us a gift, the gift he gi'us, to see ourselves as other's see us."

Slightly confused, she tries to strike up a conversation with yet another inmate, but this one just mutters, "Och, my luv's like a red, red, rose that's newly sprung in June" repeatedly.

"Is this the Psychiatric Ward?" says Her Majesty.

"No," the ward sister replies. "It's the Burns Unit."


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: December 23, 2003 03:41PM

Pam, now that's my kind of humor! R. B. and his Scotsmen are number one in my book.

Someone out there is bound to ask Burns? I don't get it, yet I bet everyone of
them knows at least 4 lines of his poetry by heart: Anyone wanna wager?

Auld Lang Syne
by Robert Burns

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

Chorus - For auld land syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint stowp!
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Chorus...

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit
Sin' auld lang syne.

Chorus...

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us briad hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne.

Chorus...

And there's a hand, my trusty fere!
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught,
For auld lang syne.

Chorus...

Les


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Pam Adams (134.71.192.---)
Date: December 23, 2003 05:56PM

You might enjoy Jasper Fforde's books. The first one is called The Eyre Affair. They're very silly, and show a great love of books. (My favorite bit is that he has Richard III as if it were The Rocky Horror Picture Show.)

pam


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Jean-Paul Bonhomme (---.nt.net)
Date: December 24, 2003 02:39PM

You got it wrong.
It's a wonderful joke.
I don't always retain what I read, but I was always impressed with BB.
He wrote things the way no one would dare; in effect, he helped liberate my mind.


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Ellen (213.40.3.---)
Date: December 24, 2003 07:08PM

My favorite

To a Mouse ( On turning her up in her nest with the plough).

Burns November 1785

Wee, sleekit,cowrin,tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi murdering prattle!

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion
An' fellow mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessing wi' the lave,
An' never miss't

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
Its silly wa's the wins sre strewin!
An' naethin, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggae green!
An' bleak Decembe's win's ensuin,
Baith snell and keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter coming fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Til crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

That wee bit heaps o' leaves and stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' craneuch cauld!

But mousie thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea us nought but grief an' pain,
for promis'd joy!

Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! i backward cast my e'e,
On propects drear!
An' forward tho' i canna see,
I guess an' fear!


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Henry (213.78.162.---)
Date: December 28, 2003 04:16PM

I once saw the title given as
'On turning up in her nest with a plough'.


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Jody (---.rasserver.net)
Date: December 28, 2003 07:17PM

And we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught,


I love Burns too. But who will make a commitment to tak a right gude-willie waught having no clue as to what that might be?

And explanations?

Jody


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: glenda (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: December 28, 2003 08:07PM

I think it means to take a hearty drink. I'll certainly commit to that.


Cheers!
Posted by: Henry (213.78.101.---)
Date: December 28, 2003 10:16PM

A waught is a large draught, so it's a good-will drink. Cheers!


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: December 28, 2003 10:41PM

Henry, what's your take on these two lines? Any Scotsmen aboard?

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine;

Les


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: glenda (---.client.comcast.net)
Date: December 29, 2003 01:25AM

[www.tamoshanter.free-online.co.uk] />
Auld Lang Syne Translated

Should old friends be forgotten
and never remembered
Should old friends be forgotten
and the days they shared together

Chorus
For days now in the past, my dear
For days now in the past
We'll drink a toast of kind remembrance
For days now in the past

You can pay for your pint tankard
and I will pay for mine
We'll drink a toast of kind remembrance
For days now in the past

We two have run about the hillsides
and pulled wild daisies
but now we are far apart in distance
From those days now in the past

We two have paddled in the stream
from morning untill noon
but oceans now lie between us
since those days now in the past

So take my hand, my trusty friend
and give me your hand
and we will take a hearty drink together
In memory of those days now in the past


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: December 29, 2003 01:39AM

Thanks Glenda, I appreciate it! I think the translation of this stanza is more impressive than the original!

We two have paddled in the stream
from morning untill noon
but oceans now lie between us
since those days now in the past


Les


Burning desire
Posted by: Henry (195.8.171.---)
Date: December 29, 2003 10:04AM

[www.bootlegbooks.com] /> Gowan
(Gow"an) n. [Scot., fr. Gael. gugan bud, flower, daisy.]
1. The daisy, or mountain daisy. [Scot.]
And pu'd the gowans fine. Burns.

So Les,
We two have wallowed in the Burns
And picked the mountain daisies!


Re: Burning desire
Posted by: Chesil (---.clvdoh.adelphia.)
Date: December 29, 2003 10:23AM

Etymology, according to the OED.

Gowan

1. A general name for various yellow or white field flowers. When used without defining word, now always denoting the Common Daisy (Bellis perennis).
1570 Satir. Poems Reform. xv. 5 e greinis, grow gray; e gowanis, dune. a1605 Montgomerie Misc. Poems xli. 10 The feildis ouerflouis With gouans that grouis. 1701 J. Brand Orkney (1703) 31 We saw the pleasantest mixture of Gowans+or Daisies white and yellow+that ever we had occasion to see. 1785 Burns Death & Dr. Hornbook xxiii, His braw calf-ward whare gowans grew, Sae white and bonie. 1802 Wordsw. Farewell 22 Thou, like the morning in thy saffron coat, Bright gowan, and marsh-marigold, farewell. 1812 J. Wilson Agric. Renfrewsh. 136 (Jam.) Some of the prevailing weeds of the meadows and grass lands are+ox-eye, or large white gowan, Chrysanthemum leucanthemum [etc.]. 1856 Mrs. Carlyle Lett. II. 284 The hearts of these two old women are as fresh as gowans. 1895 Crockett Men of Moss Hags i. 1 The dales and holms were pranked out with white hawthorn and broad gowans.

2. With qualifications, as ewe gowan, may gowan, the Common Daisy; gule gowan, the Corn Marigold; horse gowan (see horse 28c); lucken gowan, the Marsh Marigold; open gowan, the Globe-flower; witch gowan, the Globe flower, also the Dandelion; yellow gowan, any species of Ranunculus, also applied generically to all the yellow flowers mentioned above. (See Britten and Holland Plant-n. 187886.)
1721 Ramsay Richy & Sandy 35 While on burn banks the Yellow Gowan grows. 1724 I Yng. Laird & Katy, We'll pou the daisies on the green The lucken gowans frae the bog. 1810 Cromek Rem. Nithsdale Song 110 note, Witch~gowan flowers, are large yellow gowans, with a stalk filled with pernicious sap. 1842 Hardy in Proc. Berw. Nat. Club II. No. x. 14 In Lanarkshire+the phrase, yellow gowans, yet flourishes as the common name of the creeping meadow crowfoot (Ranunculus repens). Ibid. 19 note, Ye'll get round again, if ye had your fit (foot) on the May gowan.

Hence "gowaned ppl. a., full of gowans; covered with gowans; "gowany a. = gowaned.
1725 Ramsay Gentle Sheph. ii. ii, O Peggy!+ Sweeter than gowany glens or new mawn hay. a1774 Fergusson King's Birthday Poems (1845) 4 Doggies play and lambies sport, On gowany braes. 1804 W. Tarras Poems 80 On yon gowan'd lawn she was seen. 1818 Scott Hrt. Midl. xlv, The green was even, gowany, and fair. 1841 Fraser's Mag. XXIV. 351 They sat on the gowany bank. 1847 J. Halliday Rustic Bard 265 Clear is Allan's siller stream, An' sweet her gowan'd lea.


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: joseph torelli (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date: December 29, 2003 05:48PM

Didn't this thread start out with a joke? What happened?


Last laugh
Posted by: Henry (213.78.107.---)
Date: December 29, 2003 08:36PM

We had the last laugh earlier.

Best wishes for a Happy and Humourous New Year!


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Ellen (213.40.3.---)
Date: December 31, 2003 12:00PM

And Lang May Yer Lum Reek


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: DonC (---.mco.bellsouth.net)
Date: January 01, 2004 08:41PM

As long as we are talking Scots and it is the New Year
here is one for all of you. Not sure it is Burns but it sounds like it could be.

Auld Lang Syne" is the traditional song which is sung before the bells
ring out for midnight on Hogmanay (31 December), then "A Guid New Year"
is the most likely song to be sung once the new year has arrived.



A Guid New Year to ane an' a'


A guid new year to ane an' a'
An' mony may ye see,
An' during a' the years to come,
O happy may ye be.
An' may ye ne'er hae cause to mourn,
To sigh or shed a tear;
To ane an' a' baith great an' sma'
A hearty guid New year.


Chorus
A guid New Year to ane an' a'
An' mony may ye see,
An' during a' the years to come,
O happy may ye be.


O time flies past, he winna wait,
My friend for you or me,
He works his wonders day by day,
And onward still doth flee.
O wha can tell when ilka ane,
I see sae happy here,
Will meet again and merry be
Anither guid New year.


Chorus


We twa ha'e baith been happy lang.
We ran about the braes.
In yon wee cot beneath the tree,
We spent our early days.
We ran about the burnie's side,
The spot will aye be dear,
An' those that used to meet us there,
We'll think on mony a year.


Chorus


Noo let us hope our years may be
As guid as they ha'e been,
And trust we ne'er again may see,
The sorrows we ha'e seen.
And let us wish that ane an' a'
Our friends baith far an' near,
May aye enjoy in times to come -
A hearty guid New year!


Chorus


Meaning of unusual words:
mony=many
winna=will not
ilka=every
burnie=small stream







Ellen: Lang may your lum reek
(long may your chimney smoke)


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Linda (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 02, 2004 06:52PM

I live in a smokeless zone, what should my lum do?


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Henry (213.78.162.---)
Date: January 03, 2004 09:05PM

Robert Burns did write a greeting to his mare.

The Auld Farmer's New-Year-Morning Salutation To His Auld Mare, Maggie
On giving her the accustomed ripp of corn to hansel in the New Year.

A Guid New-year I wish thee, Maggie!
Hae, there's a ripp to thy auld baggie:
Tho' thou's howe-backit now, an' knaggie,
I've seen the day
Thou could hae gaen like ony staggie,
Out-owre the lay.

You can find the rest and hear it too on [www.electricscotland.com]


Re: Bad Poetry Joke
Posted by: Russ (---.olypen.com)
Date: January 21, 2004 09:52PM

Thank You Pam. I am amused and small things amuse small minds




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