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Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: Talia (216.117.99.---)
Date: September 10, 2003 06:34PM

Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I'd like a martini.
Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?

Virginia Woolf: I'll take your second-best cognac and unadulterated experience.
Bartender: We don't have that. This is a bar.
Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns)


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: Marian-NYC (---.nyc1.dsl.speakeasy.net)
Date: September 10, 2003 08:05PM

THE DEATH OF RENE DESCARTES

Waiter: M. Descartes, would you care for another cup of coffee?
Descartes: I think not.


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: Pam Adams (134.71.18.---)
Date: September 10, 2003 08:36PM

Now the philosophy song from Monty Python is stuck in my head!

[www.mtholyoke.edu] />
pam


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: rikki (---.carlnfd1.nsw.optusnet.com.au)
Date: September 10, 2003 09:22PM

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a bar when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"
Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".
The waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.

A few minutes later, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: September 10, 2003 10:35PM

Dorothy Parker:

"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host!"



Les


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: Marian-NYC (---.nyc1.dsl.speakeasy.net)
Date: September 11, 2003 11:46AM


Les,

There is documentation that Dorothy Parker said, "One more of these [drinks] and I'll be under the host."

But that poem, a version of the same utterance, is a mystery to me and Nigel Rees.

Do you have an authenticated-able source for it?


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: Marian-NYC (---.nyc1.dsl.speakeasy.net)
Date: September 11, 2003 11:48AM


A lunatic, a lover, and a poet walk into a bar together.

The bartender takes one look at them and says:

"What is this--a joke?"


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: -Les- (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: September 11, 2003 11:52AM

Marian, I got it off the internet (Google) . Pam had the same quote a while back which was posted here with other quotes by Parker. Might check with Pam on this one.

Les


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: Marian-NYC (---.nyc1.dsl.speakeasy.net)
Date: September 11, 2003 02:12PM

Thanks, Les -- I went that route last time. The mystery remains unsolved. Such is life.


Re: Literary Bar Jokes
Posted by: Pam Adams (---.bus.csupomona.edu)
Date: September 11, 2003 03:58PM

I think it's time for the Ouija Board. Of course, I don't know if we could depend on Parker to give us a straight answer!

pam




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