Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I'd like a martini.
Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?
Virginia Woolf: I'll take your second-best cognac and unadulterated experience.
Bartender: We don't have that. This is a bar.
Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns)
THE DEATH OF RENE DESCARTES
Waiter: M. Descartes, would you care for another cup of coffee?
Descartes: I think not.
Now the philosophy song from Monty Python is stuck in my head!
Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a bar when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"
Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".
The waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.
A few minutes later, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host!"
There is documentation that Dorothy Parker said, "One more of these [drinks] and I'll be under the host."
But that poem, a version of the same utterance, is a mystery to me and Nigel Rees.
Do you have an authenticated-able source for it?
A lunatic, a lover, and a poet walk into a bar together.
The bartender takes one look at them and says:
"What is this--a joke?"
Marian, I got it off the internet (Google) . Pam had the same quote a while back which was posted here with other quotes by Parker. Might check with Pam on this one.
Thanks, Les -- I went that route last time. The mystery remains unsolved. Such is life.
I think it's time for the Ouija Board. Of course, I don't know if we could depend on Parker to give us a straight answer!