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Back to School Poems
Posted by: Talia (216.117.99.---)
Date: August 14, 2003 04:37PM

OK teachers and students, does this first one bring back any memories?

Falling Asleep in Class
I fell asleep in class today,
as I was awfully bored.
I laid my head upon my desk
and closed my eyes and snored.

I woke to find a piece of paper
sticking to my face.
I'd slobbered on my textbooks
and my hair was a disgrace.

My clothes were badly rumpled
and my eyes were glazed and red.
My binder left a three-ring
indentation in my head.

I slept through class, and probably
I would have slept some more,
except my students woke me
as they headed out the door.

Copyright 2002, Kenn Nesbitt
All Rights Reserved
Science Homework
I hope that you believe me
for I wouldn't tell a lie.
I cannot turn my science homework in
and this is why:

I messed up the assignment
that you gave us yesterday.
It burbled from its test tube
and went slithering away.

It wriggled off the table
and it landed with a splat,
convulsed across my bedroom floor
and terrorized the cat.

It shambled down the staircase
with a horrid glorping noise.
It wobbled to the family room
and gobbled all my toys.

It tumbled to the kitchen
and digested every plate.
That slimy blob enlarged
with every item that it ate.

It writhed around the living room
digesting lamps and chairs,
then snuck up on our napping dog
and caught him unawares.

My sister ran off screaming.
My mom was all agog.
I had to throw it out because
my homework ate my dog.

Copyright 2002, Kenn Nesbitt
All Rights Reserved

Re: Back to School Poems
Posted by: Keeper of Light (
Date: August 15, 2003 03:37PM

Very funny! I don't think that any of my teachers have ever fallen asleep in class though. The second one was a classic! Thanks for the humor!

"Loving people is like farting in the wind; You don't actually accomplish anything, but you feel better."

~The Great and Powerful Angelia~

Re: Back to School Poems
Posted by: Hugh Clary (
Date: August 15, 2003 04:47PM

Kenn is also the author of a rather good rhyming dictionary:

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Like most rhyming dictionaries, it has some strange quirks. Won't rhyme finger with singer, for example, but does rhyme both words with ringer.

Re: Back to School Poems
Posted by: Linda (
Date: August 16, 2003 08:00AM

Best answer I heard to "What did you do at school today?" was the time my daughter came home and told me that her teacher could not give them the marks for their last test because her dog ate the answer papers. I know the teacher concerned, she showed me the papers and the dog had done a thorough job of it (and it chewed her mark book as well) She has yet to live this down!

Re: Back to School Poems
Posted by: Marian-NYC (
Date: August 18, 2003 03:11PM


When childrne come home
at the end of the day,
The question they're asked as they
scurry to play is "Tell me what did you do today?"
And the answer they give makes
you sign with dismay,
"Nothing, I did nothing today!"
Perhaps nothing means that I counted to 12 with (your name) or I played with blocks.
Maybe I painted a picture of red and blue,
or heard a story about a mouse that flew
Maybe I watched the fish eat today.
Or went outside on the swings to play.
Maybe today was the very first time that
my scissors followed a very straight line.
Maybe I led a song from beginning to end,
or played with a special brand new friend.
When you're only 5 or 6 and your hear has wings, NOTHING can mean so many things.

(anonymous - or at least posted without attribution)

Re: Back to School Poems
Posted by: rikki (
Date: August 18, 2003 08:05PM

ahh, memories of school days...

Teaching the Syllabus

Teaching lions to leap through flaming hoops
Teaching baby elephants to waltz
Teaching dogs on bikes to loop-the-loop
Teaching chimps to undo nuts and bolts.

Teaching doves to pick out painted numbers
Teaching hawks to sing
Teaching bears the latest Latin rhumbas
Seals, the Highland fling

Teaching those with wings to walk up mountains
Teaching those with feet of lead to fly
Tossing coins in intermittent fountains
Calling in the plumber when they're dry

And lastly - when it seems that each performer
Has learnt the lot - to teach them one thing more,
The thing that in the process they've forgotten:
Dogs, to bark again; lions, to roar...

Bruce Dawe


When the new teacher said
"I'm going to be frank with you,"
I burst out laughing
"What are you laughing about?" she asked.
"It's hard to explain, Frank," I said.
From that moment on Miss Jones became Frank.
For that, she has me to thank.

Brian Patten

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