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please critique
Posted by: desire (---.router.hinet.net)
Date: May 04, 2003 10:59AM

I am a poetry fan who just recently discovered this awesome web site and I'm overjoyed. I write a lot of poetry and am hoping for some constructive (or not) criticism. Here's one:
Shadows of you fill my night's
Wishing on an unknown star
A silent song betray's my heart
Loving pure and chaste from afar

Haunting ghosts of failure's past
Forbid my lips from speech
Imprisoned, bound with iron strong
A soul far out of reach.

Hope on deathbed lies
Striving for every last breath
Buried, yet never forgotten
For love is stronger than death.


Re: please critique
Posted by: Jack (---.southg01.mi.comcast.net)
Date: May 04, 2003 11:54AM

desire-


Welcome to the site.


If you post this on 'User Submitted Poetry' it WILL get comments.



Jack


Re: please critique
Posted by: Les (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: May 04, 2003 01:43PM

Desire, you do need to post this on the User Submitted Poetry forum. Also, make sure you have a title, or at least a subject for the poem, and have checked for grammatical and spelling errors.

Les


Re: please critique
Posted by: desire (---.hinet.net)
Date: May 05, 2003 10:46AM

Thanks for the advice, people. How do I post on the 'User submitted poetry' section?


Re: please critique
Posted by: Les (---.trlck.ca.charter.com)
Date: May 05, 2003 11:04AM

The same way you did here. Hit new topic at the top of the page and type, or paste your writing there.

Les


Re: please critique
Posted by: desire (---.hinet.net)
Date: May 05, 2003 11:22AM

Thanks alot Les.




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