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Lovely Limerick
Posted by: marian2 (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 17, 2005 05:14AM

My posts (and life in general) have all been too serious recently. So when I heard this on a radio programme and laughed out loud, I thought I'd better share it:

There once was a Bolshie called Lenin
Who did one or two million men in
That a lot to have done in
But where he did one in
That old Bolshie Stalin did ten in!

Letter from Robert Conquest to Kingsley Amis

The programme said Conquest wrote a lot of very good limericks - anyone know any more?

Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: Linda (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 17, 2005 12:11PM

There are four of his in The Penguin Book of Limericks.

Our existance would be that much grimmer ex-
cept for the solace of limericks.
-A fact that's unknown
To two lots alone
-The drearier dons and the dimmer hicks.

When a man's too old even to toss off, he
Can sometimes be consoled by philosophy.
One frquently shows a
Strong taste for Spinoza,
When one's balls are beginning to ossify.

My demands upon life life are quite modest:
They're just to be properly goddessed;
Astarte or Isis
Might do in a crisis,
But the best's Aphrodite, unbodiced.

Then scorn not the limerick either,
Though as Tennyson said, who knows why the
Fuck such a rhyme
Makes the grim reaper Time
Such a markedly blither old scyther.

Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: lg (Moderator)
Date: November 17, 2005 03:37PM

I once knew a warrior named slim
Who worked all day in the gym.
He never did 'roids or drugs
And gave all the ladies big hugs
But still couldn't pick up a limb.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/17/2005 03:38PM by lg.

Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: PamAdams (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 17, 2005 06:49PM

I will have to look around for my Asimov's Guide to the Limerick- lots of good stuff there.


Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: Hugh Clary (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 18, 2005 12:32PM

There was an inventor named Lloyd
Who created a feminine ddroid;
  He gave her a slot
  To be used as a twat,
And shot a great load in her vvoid.

Speaking of which, I got a letter from these guys, asking permission to publish one first seen here, in an upcoming issue:

A diarist, Samuel Pepys,
Wrote, "My wife is a woman who slepys
Whenever I'm randy
So I pour me a brandy,
And visit the pen of our shepys."

[] />
I am not sure who pointed me in their direction, but it was probably Marian or Stephen? Anyway, thanks for the help!

Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: JohnnySansCulo (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 18, 2005 01:55PM

While reading a novel by Asimov
The rocket won't fire, it's rathersoft
This here Science Fiction
won't cause an Eriction
The button is switched to Orgasm Off

Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: lg (Moderator)
Date: November 18, 2005 10:00PM

Johnny, that may very possibly be the worst limerick I've read while here at E-mule.


Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: JohnnySansCulo (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 18, 2005 11:25PM

Then I shall sleep proudly !

Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: joet (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 19, 2005 09:10AM

George Orwell must be turning in his grave.

Re: Lovely Limerick
Posted by: JohnnySansCulo (192.168.128.---)
Date: November 20, 2005 07:17PM

If he were alive today would he use Equal in his coffee?

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